Friday Food for Thought, “Questioning”
For as long as I remember, I have always loved song lyrics.?I remember in school writing a paper on the meaning and symbolism of the song by Simon and Garfunkle, “The Sound of Silence”.?Through the years, I have continued to love the power of music.?I love how music can provoke an emotion, or reinforce a mood, or help express something difficult to articulate.?Musical artists have that gift of transforming feelings and ideas into words with melodies.?I think this is why it impacts so many people when a prominent musician passes away.?Just recently we lost another of the artists I grew up listening to.?David Crosby, who was a founding member of both the Byrds and Crosby, Stills & Nash died a little over a week ago.?Like so many others, I have been touched by his songs throughout the years.?Just recently I was reflecting on a couple of the lyrics from the song by Crosby, Stills, and Nash, “Wasted on the Way.”?The song speaks of growing older, of seeking and asking questions, and recognizing the time we have, perhaps, wasted on the way, on our journey through life.
Oh, when you were young
Did you question all the answers?
-Crosby, Stills, & Nash
Since I was a little boy, I have been told (by my teachers, parents, older siblings) that I ask a lot of questions. I think this trend has continued throughout my life and has even become amplified as I have grown older.?Asking questions can be a powerful way to connect with others, to explore possibilities, and to expand our understanding of the world around us.?I teach that to my students that the art of asking powerful questions (particularly positive ones) can be one of the most effective leadership tools they can possess.?
Recently, I was having a conversation with someone, and they were describing part of their current journey and how they were, in their words, “cycling through and revisiting all the big questions and trying to make sense of having no answers”.?I was struck by the depth and profoundness of how these words were phrased.?For it seems that as I reflect on where I am at personally and professionally, I can relate to this notion.?I remember when I turned 50 and the milestone renewed a deep sense of questioning and challenging my core beliefs, my core assumptions, my core values, and my mental models.?The act of questioning was not about not believing what I did, but it was a way of challenging myself to look deeply within at the questions that were seeming to matter the most to me at this major mile marker in my life.?I too am realizing that I do not have many answers.
I like the notion of revisiting, of continuing a type of spiral (cycling) analogy of questioning, seeking, and while, not finding definitive answers, of instead finding a continual evolving sense of peace combined with a perpetual sense of curiosity. The big questions seem to loom larger and larger the older I get, and while I have not found many answers, I think I am framing the questions in more meaningful ways.
As we begin this new year, take time to ask meaningful questions.?Consider what questions are you and others asking in your organization??What questions could you be asking, about yourself, and your organization, that could have the biggest positive impact??One technique I would like to suggest is to try is to keep a question journal.?Write down the questions you ask throughout the week, and then take time to reflect on the types of questions you were asking.?This can be revealing and offer the potential for real personal growth.
The older I get the more I realize the questions we ask are much more important than the answers. And at the same time, not only are there rarely simple answers there often are no easy questions.
When my kids were growing up, we tried to begin our dinner by asking them instead of what they did that day or how their day was, we asked them what questions they asked at school.?We often heard teachers tell as at parent teacher conferences, “wow, your kids ask a lot of questions.” ?So, to close this Friday’s food for thought, I wanted to share some of the questions my kids asked me and their mom when they were much younger.
Michael (age 5) “Why did your dad die so young?” (my dad died at age 44).
David (age 4) asked, "How did the cave men cut their birthday cakes if knives weren't invented yet?"
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Jake (age 5) after completing his first week of all-day Kindergarten, said, “I missed my toys. How much more school do I have?” (unknown at the time, he had a long school journey ahead – he will graduate from Stanford Law school this summer!)
Kate (age 6) asked her mom, "When will Daddy be done with his job?"
Enjoy the weekend and ask some great questions!
Look around me
I can see my life before me
Running rings around the way it used to be
I am older now
I have more than what I wanted
But I wish that I had started long before I did
-Crosby, Stills, & Nash