Friday Best Practices - Above The Line

Hello!  Welcome to this week’s Friday Best Practices.  Today I’m going to share thoughts about Above the Line, a leadership principle related to the Drama Triangle which I wrote about earlier this year.  

What is Above The Line? 

In The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, authors Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman and Kaley Klemp wrote that Conscious Leaders spend more time living Above The Line.  What does Above the Line mean?  As they describe, “In our experience, at any point in time we are either ABOVE the line or BELOW the line.  When we are defensive, closed, and committed to being right we are below the line.  When we’re open, curious and committed to learning, we’re above the line.”  

Below the Line (“BTL”) is where the Victim from the Drama Triangle lives.  Life is happening “to me”.  Phases like “it’s hard”, “I have to …” and “there’s nothing I can do” are common.  BTL embodies the disempowered person, one who is looking to blame anyone or anything for their situation in life.  

Above the Line (“ATL”) occurs when you take 100% responsibility for your life.  It’s being aware and owning your decisions.  Living ATL embraces Creator, Motivator and Coach personas (as compared to the Victim, Villain and Hero personas). You see yourself as powerful, focus on possibilities, name what they want and create strategies to achieve your goals. Being Above the Line means you clarify desires, motivate action, face what is no longer working and take action.  And possibly most importantly, being ATL enables you to see others as equals and allies, see situations as opportunities to learn, ask questions and listen deeply.

For me the difference boils down to a Brené Brown’s lesson about “getting it right” vs. “being right” - wanting to get it right is living Above the Line, while wanting to be right is living Below the Line.

Getting To Above The Line - 100% Responsibility

When you’re Above the Line, you’re operating from an abundance mentality.  You’re operating out of love, understanding, and forgiveness and you’re committed to making things better.  

To get to this point, taking 100% responsibility is the way to move forward.  Every person gets 100% credit for their situation - their decisions, actions and consequences.  You can become aware of this dynamic by asking questions like “what’s my part in this” and “what can I learn from this” and “how else can I see this”.  Then you need to make the choice to own responsibility.  Doing this  - thereby moving out of Drama - is the critical first step.

From there, it’s about identifying ATL and BTL behaviors while constantly pushing yourself to be ATL.  Through 100% responsibility, you can move from a Victim to a Creator by owning that life happens “by me” and I create my own outcomes “I choose”.  You can shift from Villain to Motivator by stopping blaming others and challenging Creators, who take 100% responsibility and ask for a push.  Lastly, you can move from a Hero to a Coach by empowering Creators, who take 100% responsibility, to see new perspectives by asking good questions (rather than giving answers). 

Why It Works for Me

For me, Above The Line works because it helps me have more productive and positive relationships, in general and as a leader.  This quote from Klemp’s book nails it for me:

“Conscious Leaders choose to spend a lot of time Above the Line in high learning states.  This ‘learning agility’ gives them a competitive advantage, since most people today are knowledge workers. In contrast, Unconscious Leaders spend too much time trying to be right, defending their ego, and being defensive, thereby diminishing their edge in the marketplace.”

For me, so much of leadership is like being a knowledge worker - it’s about the information I have and my judgement to make decisions with it.  When I’m ATL, I don’t have to spend my time worrying about being the one who’s right, debating why my argument on an issue is better than someone else’s. Petty fights over who’s right and wrong go away and I can focus on the big picture - helping the entire organization move towards our collective goal. My time is spent on getting things right (vs. being right) when encountering strategic problems, motivating my teams to act and execute the plan (vs. criticizing and placing blame), and coaching my leaders to help them be successful in their roles (vs. telling them exactly what to do).  

Conclusion

I love ATL because of how simple and powerful it is.  I just have to ask myself if I’m ATL or BTL, and if it’s the latter, what do I need to do to get back ATL.  Because of how easy it is to use, I put it to work almost every day.  I hope you find it helpful as well.  If you’d like to learn more, I suggest you take a look at Klemp’s book The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, which includes more details on how to apply this concept.

Friday Best Practices will be back in two weeks.  Until then, be safe and take care.