The Friction of Insecurity

As leaders I think insecurity is one of the most challenging human dynamics to deal with. And it is present everywhere; all of us are insecure to some degree. In fact, over the years I've heard some of the best leaders I know share that they suffered from "imposter syndrome" , at times uncertain if they were even qualified to be doing what they were doing. And as leaders we often need to lead others through insecurity and sometimes it can be difficult to recognize. Certainly, insecurity can show up in open conversation as explicit fear or uncertainty from people on our team. This type is easier to navigate as compassionate leaders work to be supportive and encouraging. But it can also have a significant effect on seemingly very self-assured, confident people who are use to getting things right and as such are very reluctant to admit when they are unsure.? This type of insecurity can become a substantive issue when things aren't going well; leaders have to build safe, trusting environments to mitigate it.

People with strong presence who are insecure underneath often have a difficult time honestly assessing situations and dealing with problems. Reality can get distorted, things can get rationalized, accountability can be deflected, feedback can be very difficult. It's not because the individual is a bad person or even a bad performer - often they are historically very high performers - but the insecurity within them creates a shield that makes them unwilling to see the situation for what it is. This dynamic creates a form of "organizational friction", where the reality at hand isn't dealt with directly because honest assessment of it is hindered by the fear and distrust that exists across relationships. This friction slows organizations down, further reduces trust amongst team members, and consumes significant energy. And it often lives beneath the surface, difficult to identify and thus difficult to remedy.

Our ability as leaders to recognize insecurity as a force - in ourselves, in people on our team, and in other leaders - during times of challenge, conflict or situations where results aren't what we hope, can be a key to creating greater trust as we work through such challenges. It is difficult because the insecurity is often masked, particularly in highly experienced, competent people. Recognizing it requires a commitment to seeing beyond the surface of people and a desire to have breakthroughs, recognizing that the value of the breakthrough itself is significant - both for the individuals at hand but also for the organization as a whole. It requires a commitment to creating a safe, secure environment. Working through things openly, and patiently, yields greater trust for the organization and more resilience over the long-haul. But doing so also requires patience and a long term outlook.

In parallel, we can help offset insecurity by modeling vulnerability. The more leaders are open about shortcomings, mistakes, and weaknesses the more humanity we bring into the work and the more we can invite honesty and authenticity in the teams that follow. It is much easier to deal with reality than it is to deal with distorted reality and it is easier to define reality when trust exists and people feel safe to be open and honest about what is going on and they know it is OK to be merely human. Consistency in our interactions and our words and supporting our teams through difficult times are keys in helping people feel secure to deal with challenges more openly.

Ultimately trust is the antidote to insecurity. But trust does not come quickly for some. And for leaders it requires patience and a willingness to see past the surface of individuals and recognize that there's more going on underneath. Trust is the grease that reduces organizational friction. Being conscious about insecurity - and being conscious about creating safe and secure environments - both for our teams and for other leaders we work alongside is critical to long-term growth. Committing to the patience, transparency and consistency that is required is as well. Recognizing this, we have to invest intentionally in building connection and trust with the people on our teams and helping them know they are safe. When we do that we have a profound impact on the individuals themselves and we create organizations that can move faster, have more agility, and less friction. Everybody wins.

For more resources for building secure teams and healthy cultures click here.

"Points of Impact" is a weekly publication expressing thoughts on how we might approach our work differently to have a better impact on others and the world. For more related perspectives, check out Impact with Love: Building Business for a Better World.