The Freshman Ending Prospect: Shifting Dreams in College

"Congratulations, on behalf of the admission committee, I am pleased to let you know that you have been accepted to Amherst College Class of 2027."

If you know anything about top colleges in the world, you would understand that this single line will bring you joy like you never enjoyed in your life. The best liberal arts college in the world, The Legendary Amherst College awaits you, so as the brightest future.

I was not the first person from my family to attend a US University. As the second generation, it was expected for me to attend a top college like my old man. I tried to keep that up by attending and winning numerous extracurriculars that's gonna help me make a hefty CV for college application. My family was ready to send me to a top public college in the US to study physics, which I loved all along. Both my parents being engineers, they knew the value of quality education and dreams. But you cannot compete with fate, can you?

Dad left me and Mom due to a cardiac arrest on the 26th of October, 2021. 4 days before my college application submission and 34 days before my high school graduating exam. My iron-strong mom picked herself up within 2 days and we headed back home after burying Dad. 30th October 11 PM, I was hitting my applications done to 14 colleges, holding my dad's diploma in hand and only my shirt knew how badly it could soak. But I had to.

The Higher Secondary Certificate Exam is the final exam of high school in Bangladesh. I had to sit through it, and well, with a little bit of luck, I graduated with distinction. Now, I was waiting for my college results to come in. The first one came from Valparaiso University , With a decent amount of scholarship, I was dreaming once again. Because my uncle lived in Indiana, I had a good chance of going there. Then one by one I got into 9 colleges, including the 美国华盛顿大学 , 美国普渡大学 , and the 美国加州大学戴维斯分校 . But got rejected from my dream Colleges, Emory University , and Tufts University . I was happy, despite I had to focus on our business and after high school, I was pretty much free. But one night changed all. My mom had a preexisting heart condition and it got her admitted into the CCU. Scared, alone, and in pain the whole night, I was praying to god not to take Ma away. Ma survived the CCU but I decided that no more dreams of US Colleges. Until then, I had no idea how university admission in my country works. I explored the whole scenario. My mom said If I could be a doctor, that would ease some pain. I sat for the MATB which is the Medical School Qualifying exam in Bangladesh. Without preparation and again with some luck, I got into the most prestigious medical school in Bangladesh. But after seeing Dad's death as a medical concern that could be treated but the doctors didn't notice, my respect for the profession was gone. So, I gathered my courage and explained that to Mom. Mom understood but told me our business was failing one by one, I will have to take some subject in college that would grant me a bright future in Bangladesh. So, I sat for the BBA Admission test and got in too. But mom explained it is still not enough to secure one job that counts. So, on a shiny day in May, I sat for the most prestigious and considered one the hardest entrance test in the world, the University of Dhaka admission test. This is my one and only chance to get admitted to the most prestigious university in the country. And again, with some extra luck, I aced the test. But I could only choose Social Science Stream.

The boy who thought Feynman was the hero, physics books were the bible and any physics department is a temple, was choosing the social sciences stream as a life goal. I took 23 days to choose what should I study instead of physics that would make me and keep me interested in studies because I had this fear of quitting.

Public Administration, one of the most prestigious departments in the University of Dhaka, caught my attention while I was exploring my subject choices, Courses felt like I have seen them somewhere but I need to know more about them. It felt like, it is about life, love, and how to steer my life in my hand. Despite of societal huge pressure of choosing Economics or International Relations, I took the number third choice as my major and haven't been regretting.

But somewhere it wasn't feeling right, so I was planning to apply in the US, taking a gap year. Around the end of August, my biopsy report of a mass in my axilla came in and it stated. Basal Cell Carcinoma, or in normal words, Cancer. It was very aggressive and couldn't be treated with medicine anymore but the hope of going to a top college was always there. On the other hand, my class at DU started and my semester final exam was coming up. I took the finals and aced with a 3.81 GPA. I had to pack my bags and left for India for better treatment. There I applied to a few colleges with no hope. Including Amherst, and Williams. You know that you cannot expect to get into these colleges. So, I took my therapy, came in, and was doing my classes regularly but that one letter from Amherst had me dreaming again. But that joy only lasted 4 days before I was let know that my cancer is not responding to therapy and I would need a big surgery to remove it. It might take my life. I was in the final month of my freshman year. Was clueless about things and what I am gonna do in my life. I sat for the freshman year final exam, and after that, I was prepping for the surgery I have to have and knowing that might take my life.

Here comes the story of a guardian angel, Dr. Syeda Lasna Kabir Maam, who has been my mother figure in university since started and guided me towards anything that came in my path to face it and win. When you have a teacher like a mother, you have nothing to fear in studies and moreover life, that is for sure. Maam spent her valuable time with a freshman, taking him everywhere, listening to everything he has to say, and telling him everything gonna be all right. Telling me I am gonna win anyhow because she believes I have it in me. She is the reason I am still thriving at the new dream.

With Ma'am's help, my new dream started. Maam helped me through the fundamentals of social science research and showed me how much I can be, although cancer was holding me back.

I finally decided to step in for the surgery of my life. 16th June, the surgery happened, 8 hour long surgery of my life, my chances. As you can see I survived the surgery and I am cancer free. I am still in recovery, but freshman year ended with a very very pleasing result. I now love governance and policies more than ever.

And I am now happily dreaming again, to end up at The Fletcher School at Tufts University for my master's because my ma'am and mom said I deserve the best!

My take on this journey is, dreams should not be constant, it should be able to shift if needed. It should be flexible because this is a very scary world and we have to fight it, anyhow we can.

Also thanks to Aaqib Zahid sir for checking up and keeping me motivated all the way.

Also thanks to my friends, classmates, and my mom. Special thanks to Md Alimil Ahad , for spending the long-awaited nights, telling me,' Bhai, we do not know anything for sure but I know wherever you are, you are gonna be the best!' I know you are gonna rock at NYU.

To quote Jonas Salk

Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality

This was a long post, Thanks to you if you read up to this far. I am happy to let you know that I survived and thrived. Looking forward to the sophomore year.