A Fresh Perspective for the New Year

In this photo, I’m in front of my neighbor’s house. A house which, for the past six years, has had fits and starts of construction work. Now it sits half demolished and vacant. Mostly, it just irritates me, though at times it has posed real risk (like the morning I found their pipes burst and my basement flooded).

I’ve toggled between anxiety and anger as I’ve tried to cajole and entreat the absent owner to finish the project. I’ve begged him. I’ve threatened a lawsuit. All to no avail. My neighbor’s last communication said exterior work will be done in December. Today is January 2 and nothing has changed. 

So, I’ve decided I must evolve. I vow to start the new decade with a fresh perspective on the problem next door… and maybe on all situations that are out of my control. Here’s my plan:

• Find Serenity. Like the famous prayer, I will accept what I cannot control. After all, it’s his house, not mine. And like Elsa in Frozen, I’m going to do my best to “Let it go.”
• Gain Perspective. My neighbor’s house is ugly, but it’s not a tragedy. My street is safe, my home is secure and, when I pass through our front door, my domain is my kingdom. I’m starting to see the graffiti on the boarded-up windows as modern art.
• Be Empathic. Whatever has gone wrong next door is not good. The original plans and timetable that were shared are off the rails. I’m sorry for his troubles. I wish my neighbor only the best.

In a recent Wall Street Journal piece, John Tierney and Roy F. Baumeister explained that bad experiences affect us much more powerfully than good ones, but there are ways to deal with destructive bias and overcome it. Tierney and Baumeister challenge us: “For the New Year, say no to negativity.” That’s my plan and I invite you to join me in positivity.