FRESH CHOICES

How Much is Enough?

??????

If I were a rich man…

Zero Mostel

Fiddler on the Roof

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????If I were a rich girl . .

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Gwen Stephanie???????

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Atlantic Records

?The Land of More

???????????Having lived most of my life in the Land of More; how much is enough in the land of less? Maybe hunger is a condition of being satisfied. I don’t know. But as a long-time resident in the land of more I seemed to have time to burn in pursuit of good, better, best while rarely being pleased in the present tense. And then, quite suddenly, I have had time to yearn without much energy for any action beyond reflection on what once was but might never be again.

As I gained a bit of strength and slow, awkward movement, I felt captive in a land that might promise a whole lot less. Certainly, less health; less money; less work; less play; and less freedom seemed on the menu of any future me, begging the question of “how much is enough?” in the land of less? Quite abruptly “how much is too little?” seemed a more apt personal inquiry.

In tandem with new fear came new gratitude. With so much less, my own seizing of a 2nd chance in life was infused with a gratitude I had never known. I could breathe. I could feel pain and relief that pain meant I was not paralyzed for life. I could feel the love of my partner, A, and my children, B & E. I could feel friends caring and praying for me. I could take good naps and hold the remote control for bad TV.?I could laugh in dark days and write in light ones. Giving thanks was – and is – easy in the sweet savoring of what was not lost at sea.

Surviving a salt water baptism from hell, however, did not quench my thirst for more in life. If anything, this close call with eternity left me parched to find a real, personal, and resonant response to “How much is enough?” My only sure knowledge was that I did not have enough time to ignore this grating question as I always had.

And, perhaps, neither do you. The four of us who were contemplating “What’s next?” in a winter’s weekend retreat of old consulting colleagues ~ we certainly did not feel the luxury of excess time as we wondered out loud by a warm fire with full bellies in good company. It seemed that calamity was but one wake-up call away. Or perhaps great opportunity yet to be seen. We all quickly found common ground in what we did not know about either how much might be enough or, for that matter, too little. How could we imagine what might be “next” until we knew just how much is actually enough? And enough of what?

???????????After a surprisingly brief conversation, our small sample (N=4) concluded we were all seeking more security, success, and significance in our lives. If these are, broadly speaking, the 3S’s of that ephemeral but greatly sought good life, by what metrics are we to assess our personal strategy for reaching this perpetually receding horizon of enough???How can we calculate the value of progress made and what investments would we make if these were bonds to cash out come 2030?

Perhaps a review of the choosing that has constructed our recent - or long term - personal strategy might surface opportunities for reinvestment, new investments, or even divestiture of choices that do not have sustaining value in your pursuit of worthy purpose.?

???????????We will be asking you to consider three questions that are at once challenging and critical to constructing a strategy that you will need to sustain your fresh choices on the path forward.

???????????How much more money is enough for you?

???????????How much more mastery is sufficient for the shine of success you seek???

???????????How much more meaning would you harvest in the pursuit of your purpose?

???????????Sixty years after the publication of Victor Frankel’s Man’s Search for Meaning, the search continues for all of us and will not be nearly complete at the end of this brief encouragement of your engagement in defining fresh choices. In our experience, however, this question of meaning seems most often asked independently of the first two inquiries above. Perhaps it is because these questions of money and of mastery are fundamentally about you – self-interest - while the question of discovering deep meaning – what really matters - in our lives is almost always about someone and something beyond just you. ?It is easier for most of us to blur the boundaries in our responses since the categories of money, mastery, and meaning do, in fact, frequently interact with profound implications among and between. Ambiguity sometimes offers more comfort than clarity, as if complexity makes the effort a moot enterprise. And perhaps it is as long as we are not too particular about how we will measure up when our lifeworks’ legacy will be so clearly reflected in the rear-view mirror of choices made.

Our complicated responses, however sincerely offered, can also serve to justify the choices we make in the name of self-serving interest while allowing us the dual comforts of denial and procrastination when it comes to actually living lives of greater significance. Perhaps a few frequently heard great explanations will illustrate the potential value of considering security, success, and significance as potentially distinct (if inevitably related) opportunities for life and work investments.

I work late most nights and weekends so my kids can go to college (despite the fact that my marriage is on the rocks and that low-interest loans and grants are available for almost any child to attend a good college).

We won’t be able to ever retire if I don’t stay in a job I hate (at least not in a lifestyle that assures luxuries and economic freedom greater than any previous generation has ever known or, perhaps, needed).

I wish I could spend more time with my kids, but I can’t (but I have time to publish articles; go to trade shows; work on my car; have the cleanest bathroom in town; play games on the internet).

I would love to serve on the school board, but don’t have time (not exactly a step on any corporate career ladder. That’s why I pay high taxes.???……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????You get the idea. You have your own great explanations – with many of them reflecting deeply held values and honorable commitments you have made in both work and in your personal life. We all make such choices every day. And too often we make such choices as if we have no other choices open to us. That’s where the denial and procrastination come into play. Will the choices you have made so far – your overall choice of strategy to date – enable you to make real progress toward your true purpose with passion and action every day?

Framing Reflections

?????????. . . in the land of more

?????????Materials:?????Sketchbook (or computer screen).

???????????Time:?????????????30 minutes

???????????Request:????????Create a 3x2 table (see below).

1.????Note the major activities in your life over the last 10 years in the categories provided in top half of chart. You may include an activity in one more category, but be as honest as possible in your reflection. [If work has been mostly about money; or about success; say so].

2.????Next to each activity note the approximate amount of time you spend on that activity on a weekly, month, or annual basis. Use hours if possible; otherwise, per cent of all available waking time is fine.

3.????Now estimate (guess) at the percentage of your total life time/energy you have invested in each category – money, mastery, meaning – over the last decade (totally 100%).

4.????In the bottom half of the chart, project those activities that you believe are most critical in your pursuit of a good life filled with fresh choices and sustaining practices.

5.????Is the percentage of time/energy you would ideally invest in each – money, mastery, meaning – in looking forward to 2035 different than your investment over the past decade(s)?

6.????What activities/investments in the top of your chart are you willing to shift – real time and real energy – to achieve your purpose?

Money Mastery Meaning

[Security] [Success] [Significance]

Current Commitments

(Time x Effort)

________________________________________________________________

Future Commitments

(Time x Effort)

_______________________________________________________________ ?

What will you need to do different to shift commitments?