French Stereotypes, Truth or Myths? (3 of 7)

Rudeness:

Wikipedia: French waiters have been perceived as rude and disrespectful, especially to foreigners who speak little to no French

 “We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.” Douglas Coupland

Probably the most famous, wide spread and recurring cliché about France… But what is rudeness?

*Rude describes a type of behaviour that isn't appropriate and usually isn't very nice, either — like yelling "You stink!" at a children's talent show.

So, apparently, French waiters are perceived as rude by visitors who do not speak French: this seems to be the “admitted” origin for this Cliché. Let me highlight a few points here:

-         Looking at the definition of “rude”, there is the notion of “appropriate”. Problem is, it is a matter of culture: what is appropriate somewhere is not elsewhere. It is all relative and there are many such examples. For instance, burping at the table is considered rude in many countries, France included, while it is OK in others and actually rude not to do it in some. So, rudeness exists only through the prism of our own education and culture, rendering the concept itself inherently flawed.

-         Moreover, developing on the remark above, provided the relativity of the concept, how can one label something as “rude” when visiting a different country/culture than theirs? Either because they are unable to understand differences can exist or because they believe their culture is “better” or “truer” entitling them to issue a judgement… Sounds familiar?

-         The Cliché, is I believe often associated with Paris, and to France by extension. Paris, however is not France and the divide is quite clear: Parisians do have a word, “province”, to define all that is not Paris. I always found that very offensive as someone coming from a culturally rich, proud and unique part of France (my beloved Pyrenées). Being simply put in the same bag as every other region when mine is objectively better never sat well with me ??. Neither does being labelled as “rude” because of Paris and Parisians: not only it is untrue, but it is unfair!

-         Since it seems the cliché is heavily linked to the waiters’ attitude in France, let’s set a couple of things straight:

o  Unlike other countries like the US where waiters are paid with tips only, waiters in France have a fixed salary in most cases. This mean they do not need to smile, be overly courteous or do anything in particular in the hope to get a big tip. This over-nice attitude from Northern American waiters is by the way quite disturbing for us French (for me at least), a bit “too much” or over the top.

o  They are pros: unlike other places like Australia for instance where waitressing is mostly a casual job with a lot of turnover, it is a career in France. One could argue this means that waiters in France are better at their job (serving people quickly and efficiently). I will not judge but I’ll encourage you to think of an overcrowded Paris Café terrace where only 1 waiter caters for the whole thing, doing table service, payment management, clean up, etc etc… while you don’t wait much to be served… OK, they may not smile, but dam, they are efficient and if you pay close attention, they are at full speed all the time, quite impressive. In contrast, imagine a similar setting in Australia: mostly no table service, long wait to order/get a drink, tables not quite cleaned quickly, and yet there seems to be staff everywhere… I’m not saying this is the norm but it is something I witness quite often. Ok they are friendly and smiling, but personally, I’m not here to make friends so the quicker I can get my order the better. 1-0 to France on this in my book.

As you gather from the above, my assessment of this stereotype is that it is utter nonsense… But let’s imagine for 1 second that yes, it is true, French people are rude and it is an undeniable fact. Well, France is the most visited country in the world, Paris the most visited city and both have held that spot for years. If the rudeness of French people was such an issue, one might think it could affect the number of tourists visiting? I also have a theory on this, 2 in fact:

-         People just don’t care: France’s charm far outweighs the inconvenience of the alleged rudeness of French people

-         It has become an expectation: people visiting France expect waiters to be rude so we stick to the cliché just to avoid disappointment, maybe part of the little “je ne sais quoi” that people come to look for in France…

To conclude on this one, even French people use this stereotype to laugh about themselves:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JamYcUAY1yo&list=PLVS0kohK8UTBc71z9hhhpbvuo4BiyKhNa&index=2

Who said we were stuck up, arrogant and could not take a joke?

Source:

*https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/rude