Freeze Time

Maybe it is something about getting older and seeing my dad deal with the many things old age brings, but I began to ponder “If you could freeze time, when would you do it?”

Tough question because throughout our lives there are so many great experiences. As a little boy, I loved doing everything with my dad. We would go fishing and hunting. When him and grandpa were together, there were so many great stories they would share. I could listen all night, well I listened until I would fall asleep. As a young boy there didn’t seem to be a care in the world – this was a great era!

Adolescence for some may be some of the best memories in life. I remember these as being very awkward years spent worrying way too much about what others thought about me. High school was challenging especially wondering what will I do when I graduate? I made it through but would say I would rather fast-forward through these years.

College was completely different than high school. It seemed so much easier to build friendships. Granted I went to a small tech school, but it seemed that most people were very easy to approach, and the learning was intense but very exciting! Maybe the best part was the diversity of the class I was in. I got to learn so many life lessons from students that were choosing technology as a second career. I had instructors who wanted to see you succeed. This time of my life is one worth being able to freeze.

I always thought of myself as an awkward, semi-geek in my twenties. As I began to work as a programmer, I enjoyed the work and my coworkers. I still felt it very challenging at times to talk to my customers and those of the opposite sex. I think at times the women at my work had fun knowing I was this way, but they were the ones to help me come out of my shell. I took in all the great advice they gave and in time was able to gain some confidence around speaking with our customers. I cherish these days but not ones that I would hit the freeze button on.

Love and family make so many positive impacts in your life. I remember the great times I had dating my wife to our wonderful wedding day. You learn a lot about yourself when you are in a relationship. The times when you need to lean on someone, and they are there for you. From being a couple to parents is a great and at times an overwhelming thing. When you didn’t think you could love anything so much as your spouse, then this little one comes along to capture your heart. I remember the early Saturday mornings where my youngest would come to my room at 5:00 am and wait for me to move. Then it was “Daddy what are we going to do today?” Seeing your kids grow up raises so many emotions. There are times when I would like to hit freeze when they were little but then I would miss seeing them grow up to be wonderful young men.

The boys are now grown up and moved out but every conversation about what they are doing makes me feel young again. I love the creative side of my oldest and caring side of my youngest. There isn’t a day that doesn’t go by that I am glad to see they are enjoying life.

For myself, I think there is a little bit of each era that lives in me. I try to be that carefree boy and have fun with my teammates at work and my friends. I have never stopped wanting to learn since the days of college. I cherish the stories that my grandfather and dad shared and pass them onto my kids every chance I get. I know down the road things will be getting harder, but I welcome the future and the untold stories.

For me, I don’t think I would want to freeze time. I want to always remember the memories and cherish each day moving forward. I look forward each day to learn something new, visit with those that are close to me, and ponder what the future will bring.

Would you freeze time?

The views expressed are mine alone and do not reflect the views of Farm Credit Services of America or Frontier Farm Credit.