Freedom is not what I expected.

My average day used to consist of worrying. Worrying what do I do next, how do I find my next client, where do I go? I would be working, even when I wasn’t working. You know that chaotic mind that is running a million miles a second trying to figure out what’s next. 

I would get a potential new client and they’d back out. I’d have people say yes, then stop doing the work required.

I was exhausted, frustrated and often defeated.

I did not like the struggle. Every time I’d get on a call with an interested prospect and it didn’t work out, I’d say, “They just aren’t ready.” Or I'd get on a call and it would be an hour of nothing. I’d escape it by going and sleeping. Waking up and trying to show everyone everything was fine. I’d read another book or listen to positive affirmations and still I wouldn’t be moving forward. So I’d stop and shut down for a while.

I started to learn what it means to have clarity on your commitment. I started to learn that right now in this moment I can make a choice of what to do. There’s nowhere to get before I start.

I thought, ok, that makes sense. It’s like wanting to run away from where you are. For example, it’s like if I said I didn’t want to be in MN. So I go to the airport and say I don’t want to be here anymore, and they say, “Well, where do you want to go?” And me constantly saying, I don’t know I just don’t want to be here. So I’d go nowhere. I have to start right where I am.

I said to myself, you can’t do that. I’ve committed to so many things in the past and they didn’t work out. I believed sales and marketing were hard and complex. Is this really what I want to be doing? Is this for me?

There were so many new unknowns that I was facing, I didn’t know how I was going to do it, so I didn’t go all in. I wanted to know every detail before taking the next step.

Those thoughts started to creep in again. Those beliefs that life is hard, sales is hard. Picking up the phone was painful and it was like a 1500lbs weight. I said I couldn’t do it because I didn’t know what to do. I saw the freedom, but I didn’t know how to make it happen. My head was going 5 million miles a minute at this point.

I tried going to a ton of networking meetings. Because it’s a number’s game, right? Though nothing happened. I tried calling and calling and calling, reaching out constantly all hours of the day. I tried reading other books. I tried going to other seminars. I’d sit and watch inspiring videos to try to motivate me.

Finally I came to a point where I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t try to figure it out on my own. I had a week that I had 5 potential new clients and it was “the best week ever” in my career. But 0 bought. I was done. I was done with this pattern of “almost” I was done with this pattern of “what next.” I saw how my lack of commitment was affecting really good people who were looking for an answer. How they were counting on me for the result and I wasn’t stepping up to get it for myself. I realized I had a responsibility.

The system started to prove predictability. I looked over my number of conversation to sales that I had in the past 6 months and it lined up perfectly. I was on the very low end of the scale, but it was working. The only reason why I wasn’t getting the results I wanted, was because I wasn’t stepping up to the level of effectiveness required. I wasn't clear on my commitment, so I couldn't help others get clear either.

At that moment, I decided, OK, you follow the system and do the work required and the results will come. I was full force, No Stopping, No More BS, COMMITTED! I felt like the Kool-Aid man (woman). The wall is in the way, but I’m going to bust right through it. There are people waiting for me to show up. Ohhh yeah!

I still worried, people aren’t going to believe me. People are going to think I’m salesy (they already did). Showing up and getting straight to the point, felt arrogant.

The biggest struggle I had faced, was seeing how I was affecting lives, positively and negatively. I saw how not keeping my word, not following through on my commitment, not stepping up and doing what I said I was going to do was affecting all types of different relationships in my life. I saw how I created that outcome. I to step up and live that simplicity to help others do the same.

This same mental struggle kept popping up. Each time I got closer to my goals my mind would start to race again. I’d think, don’t screw this up. You’ve got so far to go! I’d start to worry again about how to get things done and fall back into old habits.

Trying to break free into the simplicity is aggravating. I'm going to show up, clear on how I help, help them get clear on what they want, and support them to achieve that. I would say, I am going to get 1 sale this week and at the end of the week, nothing. I started to see it everywhere. So many people saying they are going to do one thing and do the exact opposite. That's the norm. I had to show up different.

Now, I wake up and understand it’s a daily choice. I help business owners create clarity and give them a system to create consistent results. I help them live out their vision. I wake up knowing the exact steps I need to take to reach my goal. I am hitting my goals consistently and I keep improving little areas bit by bit to become more effective and create more time in things I enjoy instead of worrying about the things I don’t. I live life simply.

I see the world now as a constant mountain to climb, not one to conquer, and I enjoy each step. I don’t have to worry about the future, I don’t have to be concerned with the past. I know right now, I have the choice AND the ability to create exactly what I am looking for. The world is supportive and there are millions of people creating a positive impact and I get to work with a very select few of them.

I feel now that I lived so long in that chaotic pattern that I understand that pattern and I am here to support others to live with that simplicity in their sales. I am grateful I now spend more time with my husband and give my daughter experiences in life that not many kids get a chance to do. I am grateful to be working with a group of business owners who have a high-level commitment to create a positive outcome for others and am honored to support them to achieve that.