The Freedom Paradox: Why Do We Work So Hard to Be Free?

Let’s talk about freedom. No, not the kind of freedom that involves riding into the sunset on a Harley Davidson with the wind in your hair. I’m talking about that elusive concept we chase from the moment we step into the workforce, dragging our shiny new briefcase behind us. You know, the freedom to live, to pay bills, to take vacations, and post about it on Instagram as if the likes will add years to our lives.

From a young age, we’re told to work hard so that we can, one day, afford the good life. We accumulate jobs, promotions, bonuses—stacking them like trophies. Every success means a little more freedom. Or does it?

We take vacations to recharge, then spend the first half of the trip bragging about how we “earned it” through sheer hard work. The second half is spent worrying about emails, upcoming deadlines, and the dreaded post-vacation backlog. And guess what? Once we’re back at work, the grind continues. We advance in our careers, get a bigger salary, buy nicer things, and yet we keep wanting more. All for that one aim: to be free. Free to live, free to enjoy life. But, somehow, we find ourselves trapped in the very thing we thought would set us free.

The Great Irony of Freedom

Now, some youngsters reading this might find it ridiculous. “Freedom? Really? Is that something to stress about?” they may ask while scrolling through their phone. But here’s the catch—I’ve been sensing this feeling ever since I started my work life at 23, and every year since then, it pops up like clockwork. It’s not some grandpa thingie or a mid-life crisis vibe, but a reality we tend to avoid facing. At some point, usually around 2 a.m. after the third cup of coffee, we have this epiphany: “Why did I need to do all of this to be free?” After all, wasn’t I free from the beginning? Couldn’t I have enjoyed life without all the hustle and grind? It’s like getting to the top of a mountain only to realize the view from halfway up was just as good. But then, before you know it, we forget this deep, philosophical revelation and get back to pushing, pulling, and accumulating.

It’s a cycle. A relentless loop of striving for more while simultaneously wondering if any of it was ever really necessary. And just when we think we’ve cracked the code—perhaps while considering our retirement plan or pondering life insurance—we stop thinking altogether and dive headfirst back into the grind.

Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?

Sigmund Freud, the man who could turn anything into an existential crisis, would probably say this is just part of being human. In Beyond the Pleasure Principle (1920), Freud suggested that human behavior is driven by a balance of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. But here’s the kicker: sometimes we inflict a little pain on ourselves just to feel alive. Sound familiar? We push ourselves at work, stress over career advancement, all for the sweet pleasure of freedom. But in doing so, we create a constant tension—what Freud might call a “sado-masochistic” loop.

Then there’s Erich Fromm, who, in Escape from Freedom (1941), argued that too much freedom can actually be overwhelming. So, we seek structure, routine, and yes, even work, to make sense of our lives. In other words, we work hard, not just to be free, but because we don’t know what to do with too much freedom.

Escaping the Loop

So, what’s the solution? How do we break free from this seemingly endless cycle of work, accumulate, repeat?

Maybe, just maybe, it’s about realizing that freedom isn’t something we achieve after years of hard work. It’s something we have right now. Freedom is found in the small moments—the morning coffee that isn’t gulped down in a rush, the walk in the park that doesn’t need to be shared on social media, the time spent with loved ones without worrying about the next meeting.

Alfred Adler, in his work on individual psychology, emphasizes the importance of community and social connection. Perhaps real freedom comes from living life with a sense of purpose, rooted in the relationships and simple pleasures we experience every day.

Conclusion: Enjoy the Ride (And a Few Surprises Along the Way)

In the end, maybe the trick to freedom is realizing that we’ve had it all along. Sure, we’ve got bills to pay and responsibilities to juggle, but life’s beauty lies in the simple things. So, take a breath, look around, and enjoy the ride—even if you’re not on a Harley Davidson.

And while you’re at it, let yourself be surprised by something you never even considered. Admit it, embrace it, and give a shout-out to the person who thought of it. Life’s too short to pretend you’re always the smartest one in the room (spoiler: you’re not). Make jokes and don’t be the first and last person laughing—share the humor. Every once in a while, do something spontaneous. Buy that ridiculous hat. Wear it to the office. Let people wonder if you’ve finally cracked under the pressure. It’s okay.

And here’s a real kicker: allow yourself to make mistakes. Yes, the kind you can laugh about later, like sending an email to the wrong group or accidentally telling your boss “I love you” during a Zoom call. The world keeps turning.

Finally, when the going gets tough (and it will), try using some mature coping mechanisms—you know, the kind that don’t involve flipping tables or binge-watching cat videos. Take a deep breath, talk to someone, or maybe even just laugh about how bizarre it all is.

So, enjoy the ride. And if you don’t, well, at least make it interesting.

References:

Freud, S. (1920). Beyond the pleasure principle. Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud.

Fromm, E. (1941). Escape from freedom. Farrar & Rinehart.

Adler, A. (1956). The individual psychology of Alfred Adler: A systematic presentation in selections from his writings. Basic Books.

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