Freedom from Addiction

Story: The Flute Player (Source: 民间故事 mínjiān gùshì - Chinese for folktale)

Once there was a flute player (Bansuri player) who roamed the streets of the village, selling his flutes. He played them so melodiously that everyone wanted to buy one.

One day, a young boy bought a flute from him. He tried very hard to play it, but he couldn't achieve the same melody as the flute player. After many attempts, the boy became so frustrated that he broke the flute.

The next day, when the flute player returned, the young boy complained that his flute wouldn't play well and demanded a new one that could produce a melodious sound.

The flute player listened patiently and then told the boy, "All the flutes are the same. It's up to us what kind of music we want to play with them."

Moral of the Story:

The quality of music is produced by the player, not the flute. The flute is simply a tool that allows the player's talent to shine. Similarly, success comes from a combination of inner talent and the effort put into using the tools available.

Earlier Discussions of Addiction

In the past, discussions of addiction primarily focused on drugs, smoking and drinking. However, the 21st century has seen the addition of several new items to this list. These include tea, coffee, social media, the need for appreciation, social acceptance, and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

Shifting Societal Views

Previously, individuals addicted to alcohol or drugs were often ostracized and considered failures. Over time, social attitudes have shifted. These addictions have become more socially acceptable, which were earlier considered as signs of unsuccessful life or poor family relationships. Conversely, smoking and drinking have become more commonplace, with many successful (wealthy, powerful, and famous) people openly indulging in these habits. This creates a situation where those who abstain from drinking feel pressure to justify their choice and become the perceived minority.

New Addictions and Their Impact

While some may view them differently, new addictions like excessive tea or coffee consumption, social media overuse, the constant need for appreciation, social validation, and FOMO pose significant risks to society and families. For instance, some people struggle to put down their mobile phones even for a brief moment. When the network goes down, they experience anxiety, as if they're deprived of oxygen.

The Grip of Social Media

Social media addiction has become deeply ingrained in our daily lives. We wake up checking our phones, use them throughout the day, and even reach for them in the middle of the night to scroll through social media platforms. The ubiquitous nature of this behaviour makes it seem normal and acceptable. One clear example is on flights. As soon as the plane lands, nearly everyone frantically checks their phones for updates.

Breaking the Cycle

There are two main approaches to dealing with these addictions. The first is a simple yet often ineffective method: telling people to stop using it. While quitting a seemingly harmless habit like drinking tea or coffee might appear easy, our bodies and minds become accustomed to these routines. Abrupt cessation can lead to withdrawal symptoms and an increased risk of relapse.

Empowering for Change

The second and more effective approach focuses on empowering individuals to make decisions about change. Imagine someone with a leg injury who uses a cane to walk. By strengthening their leg muscles, they can regain mobility and eventually discard the cane altogether, as it's no longer necessary.

Underlying Weaknesses

All addictions stem from underlying insecurities or weaknesses we attempt to mask. Many people begin smoking or drinking during their school or college years, often driven by a desire to fit in or prove themselves. This initial motivation can quickly evolve into a long-term addiction.

Addressing the Root Cause

By confronting our weaknesses and building self-confidence, we become better equipped to face the world, making it easier to overcome addiction.

Developing Healthy Habits:

1. By finding healthier alternatives (hobbies, exercise, spending time with loved ones) and setting boundaries (limiting phone use, designated social media breaks), you can reduce reliance on potentially addictive behaviours.

Empowerment and Self-Awareness:

1. When we start training our minds that I am responsible for our behaviour, even though the stimulus may have come from outside but I decided to behave in a certain way, I will start owing my decisions.
2. Example: Someone says something nasty to me, and I have two choices: to ignore or respond. In both cases, whatever decision I may take, I will own the responsibility for it.
3. The more I understand that I am the owner of my decisions (right or wrong), I will feel self-empowered and it will help me to start looking at my addictions and what actions I need to take.
4. Like when I reviewed my addictions, I found one of the addiction is related to notifications which came on my mobile. These notifications give regular updates about WhatsApp, LinkedIn, Gmail, YouTube, Instagram etc. I challenged myself and slowly and steadily switched off all the notifications except those of utmost importance for my work.
5. To summarise, when I empowered myself when I started taking responsibility for all my actions, I started finding ways to work on my addictions (whether small or big).
6. When I took the action on my own, without any peer pressure, without any external help, the possibility of having freedom from the addiction was enhanced