Don't Lose Your Mind and Your Money During This Crisis
Christy Rutherford ? Retention - Burnout Recovery Expert
I help organizations retain talent through burnout prevention & recovery | Keynote Speaker | Executive Coach | Consultant | Let's Chat!
EnVogue released a song in the 90’s that said, “Free your mind and the rest will follow.” The lyrics in this chorus hold the keys to how you can ensure you don’t lose your mind AND your money during the coronavirus crisis. Don’t focus on getting your money right, focus on getting your mind right, and the money will follow.
Eight years ago, I had everything that I wanted and nothing that I needed. I had a successful six-figure career, national achievements, my dream car, a nice place filled with nice things, and expensive artwork, and I traveled at least twice a month
By society’s standard of S-U-C-C-E-S-S, I had it all but was suffering silently and secretly. When you’re considered Superwoman by many people, and eventually you believe the hype, people don’t think you have any “real” problems.
You have the position that you’ve been working 80 hours a week for 15+ years to achieve. What do you mean you don’t like it?
You have the lifestyle you dreamed about. What do you mean you feel empty internally when you have it all externally?
You’re well respected in your organization, industry, and the community. What do you mean you don’t feel successful?
By the time I resigned and ran away like Tina Turner ran from Ike in that white suit in What’s Love Got To Do With It, I had been digging my early grave for years and was ready to collapse in it and die.
But, that’s not my story. I bet all chips on me and jumped off a cliff leaving behind everything and everyone I knew. I was already successful and was confident I would figure it out. Besides, I’d joined a network marketing company and was going to be rich selling coffee in two months.
That didn’t happen. In an earlier article, I shared how I didn’t calculate the long-term effects of how much the mental strain would affect my ability to be an entrepreneur.
I was chasing MONEY and not solely working on my mindset. I needed to replace my income and get rich, so I could finally rest and take a well-earned break.
Traveling all over the U.S. with the coffee company, paying for my sports car, and luxury apartment building in DC, I ran through my savings, IRA, gold, stocks, and other monies within 18 months.
I had a choice to make. I could take one of the nearly 20 six-figure jobs I’d been offered, or I could finally settle down and get my mind back right. My soul was exhausted, so I decided again to bet all chips on me.
I moved in with my brother to fully restore my mental and physical health and thought it would only take two months. Then, I’d finally get rich selling coffee. Lol!
I didn’t realize how broken I was until I stopped and self-isolated. How close to death I was until I stopped and self-isolated. How much toxicity and stress I carried until I stopped and self-isolated. How unhealthy I had become until I stopped and self-isolated.
I was self-isolated in my brother’s house in a very rural area for 3.5 years. I had no car, no money, no fancy food, no luxuries, no massages, no vitamins, no expensive facial products, no manicures, pedicures or hair treatments. NOTHING.
It took me giving it all up to realize that what I needed was rest, which I talked about in an earlier article.
Why am I sharing this now? Because, although you’ve only been self-isolated for a few weeks and say you have cabin fever, I know what’s really going on.
I know the challenges that you haven’t admitted to. I did it.
I know how you really feel about your success. I did it.
I know the secret fears you have. I did it.
Although I could write a 300-page book on how to save yourself right now, I’d like to offer three things you can do now to not lose your mind and your money.
Self-Reflection
Engage in honest self-reflection. Emotionally intelligent and conscious leaders are comfortable with looking at themselves and seeing the ugly truths. It takes A LOT of courage to look in the mirror and own where you are right now.
What are you saying to yourself? How do you really feel about yourself? Own where you are and commit to personally developing yourself so you can come out of this crisis better and not bitter.
“I guarantee you are living with the consequences of what you say about yourself.” – TD Jakes
Personal Development
There are no new problems or scenarios in life, and every issue that you have, someone has conquered and written about it. There are countless self-help books and millions of YouTube videos featuring some of the greatest thought leaders. Check out inspirational and motivational videos and books from my favorite thought leaders: Napoleon Hill, Florence Scovel Shinn, Maya Angelou, Les Brown, Bob Proctor, and James Allen.
“In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” - Eric Hoffer
Tame The Negative Voice In Your Head
In the phenomenal book Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Matthew Maltz, he gives 5 Steps for Reprogramming your inner critic. Observing your inner voice, when it says something negative, do the following (CRAFT):
1. Cancel – say it aloud
2. Replace – with positive data
3. Affirm – the new image you desire
4. Focus – 10 minutes daily
5. Train – yourself for lasting change
When you’re stressed and fearful, your negative voice can beat you into a corner, start defending yourself against YOURSELF.
Years ago, when my inner voice would say, “You’re going to fail.” I would say aloud, “CANCEL!” Then, to myself, “I can achieve anything I put my mind to. I choose to serve others and deserve success.” Then, I imagined myself celebrating success with my business partners on a yacht or at the beach in Bora Bora. I also meditated 10-30 minutes a day.
Today, I’m successful, have my full mental health, perfect physical health, and I’m on a private beach in the Bahamas riding out the COVID-19 crisis. My time for self-isolation has passed, but I know that my experiences will allow me to serve you better, so, in turn, I deserve the beach. ??
Christy Rutherford is a high-level business consultant and advisor to executive leaders. Her work closes the promotion gap for exceptional women. Christy is a Harvard Business School Alumna, certified Executive Leadership Coach from Georgetown University, and the best-selling book, Heal Your Brokenness. In addition, she has been interviewed by and featured in Forbes three times. For more details, visit ChristyRutherford.com
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3 年Intresting Christy thanks for sharing!
Global Relationship Science Expert @Tinder | Co-Owner @Sutton United FC | TV Host | Podcast Host @Flight Studio | Serial Entrepreneur w/ 3 Exits
4 年Powerful piece!
Human Resources Business Solutions
4 年This is definitely the time to pick-up what you put on the shelf, create, and innovate! Thanks for your insights, Christy!
Great insights, Christy! Now more than ever, #resilience is absolutely vital. Every morning, we have the opportunity to #ChallengeEveryDay!