Free diving - Ecstasis under water

I have a special relationship with water. I absolutely love the ocean, no matter which one, but at the same time it scares the sht out of me. Maybe that’s why I am so obsessed with it. It was only a matter of time until I discovered free diving.

Free diving is the slowest extreme sport in the world, where divers dive as deep as they can with only a lung full of air. The deepest free dive is 214 metres, on a single breath.

"Benign masochism refers to enjoying initially negative experiences that the body (brain) falsely interprets as threatening. This realization that the body has been fooled, and that there is no real danger, leads to pleasure derived from “mind over body.” This can also be framed as a type of mastery."

Free diving is a mental game - it’s you vs. you. The key is to fully relax your body and get your heart rate down with long, deep, slow breaths before your dive. You take one last, deep breath and duck dive in a vertical line along a rope. Everything is slow, controlled, effortless (or so it seems).

As the air in your lungs gets less and the CO2 in your blood increases, your body enters into crisis mode and your survival instincts kick in. Your lungs will start to contract and you want to grasp for air … under water, because your body thinks you are suffocating.

This is when the game actually starts. Your brain is in panic, but you know that, even though your lungs are empty, you still have enough oxygen in your blood to swim up to the surface, slow and controlled. Your mind needs to outplay your instincts, that’s the only way to make it up to the surface without blacking out.?

I signed up for the introduction course, 3 days of practice with the goal to reach the depth of 15 metres and get certified. It was low season and apart from me there was only one other student joining, perfect!

The first day was spent at the pool, with breathing exercises and a static breath hold. So far, so good. We ended the day with a horizontal free dive in the pool. We’re ready for the first open water session.

The next morning we meet by the pier and hop on the long tail boat to drive out in the ocean. In the water are the three of us and a buoy with a kettlebell attached on a rope to it. I was wearing long fins, snorkel, mask and a weight around my neck (very uncomfortable, I recommend a weight belt instead).

We start with some warmup dives with the kettlebell set at 5 - 10 meters. We practice to duck dive and how to equalise the pressure on the ears. Equalization is tricky to navigate while swimming downwards and it can be quite painful.

I struggled a lot with combining the duck dive and equalizing and I became increasingly frustrated, which made matters worse. They key in free diving is total relaxation, the more frustrated you get, the less relaxed you are. I knew I was hitting a plateau and decided to call it a day.

On the third and final day I was determined to reach the 15 metres depth. I take extra time to relax on the bouy before my last dive, this was my last chance. As I was diving down the only thing I focus on was the kettle ball at the end of the line. The dive is going well, I equalise without any pain and seem to move effortlessly.

As I reach the kettleball at 15m depth, something in me clicks - I couldn’t believe I made it. And then it hit me - I look around me, all I could see was dark blue and realised that, holy sht, I am 15 metres deep in the middle of the ocean.

This moment felt like forever, though it was only a couple of seconds long.

I got overwhelmed by what divers call “the rapture of the deep”. An emotional experience and alteration in the diver's consciousness. A feeling of euphoria, of being one with everything. I felt invincible, yet very vulnerable at the same time. It's hard to describe, but it was the most peaceful yet exciting feeling I have ever felt.

That feeling faded away quickly as I looked up to the surface to spot the bouy and the instructor. They looked so, so far away. At this point my lungs start to contract and I knew this was the point where it starts to get interesting.

For a split second my brain is in panic and screams at me to swim up as FAST as I can to reach the surface and grasp for air. But I don’t, I swim up slowly and let myself glide to the surface slowly, controlled, effortless.

"Mind over body"

As I reach the surface and grasp for air, I am ecstatic and the smile on my face could not be bigger. We quite literally ended the course on a high.

I understand why free diving is as addicting as it is deadly, on our way back to the pier I wonder… “could I have gone deeper?”.

I'm hooked.

Rozin P, Guillot L, Fincher K, Rozin A, Tsukayama E. Glad to be sad, and other examples of benign masochism. Judgment and Decision Making. 2013;8(4):439-447. doi:10.1017/S1930297500005295