Frances Hesselbein, Accomplished Leader

Peter Drucker reportedly said, 'Frances could lead any organization'. That was during a time women weren't allowed to lead much of anything. At the time she was leading the Girl Scouts of America.

I asked Frances how she was able to lead as a woman during those early years. Her answers always revolved around her thinking of herself as a person, rather than as a woman, and just doing her job.

Frances made a difference in my life. I still ponder things she's said to me. I wanted more time with her, so I could learn more from her.

She told me she put on lipstick before she answered the phone, to help her show up the way she would if she were meeting someone in person.

She wrote a book on circles of influence, as opposed to the top-down hierarchical model I'd grown up with in business.

She wasn't a pushover in any sense of the word. She had her ways of wielding influence.

She told me to call her Frances, rather than Ms. Hesselbein. She obviously expected me to 'get it' after telling me once. When I would begin to lean into a more formal, respectful way of addressing her, she'd sense it and cut me off at the pass to steer the conversation her way. I got her message, loud and clear.

Frances would ask me about my personal mission, and she asked me to write it down. My answer was always some version of contributing to society in an apolitical way. She cared about the quality of our educational system. She reserved a percentage of her busy schedule to meeting with young leaders, which is one reason she had so much time for my project with Marshall, the Thought Leader Partnership at Alliant International University in San Diego. There I was able to facilitate mentorships between Marshall's colleagues and Ph.D. students like Daniel Kuzmycz (see photo above).

I still have so much to learn from her.

The first time I met Frances was when she arrived at her hotel for one of our Thought Leader events. I helped her figure out how to get help with her heavy luggage. She was in her 90s and although tough in spirit, her body wouldn't do well wrestling with two big, heavy cases. During that time she apparently got to know me a bit, and invited me to her room to help her unpack.

She said it was refreshing to talk with me, since I treated her like a person instead of walking on eggshells around her. Yeah, that's how I meet people. I respect them, and treat them as though we both have a right to be here. And I'm sincerely curious about them as people, as well as about their work. I was surprised and honored to get that kind of individual access to her. I had recently recovered from a physical injury, and was able to share some tricks I'd learned to deal with weight when I was fragile, which she appreciated.

She showed me how to roll up a dress jacket using shopping bags to keep it from wrinkling.

So what is a leader? From personal experience I know how she led me.

I remember the time I'd done some significant extra work totally outside of my role with Marshall, and I remember Marshall and Lyda in their kitchen asking me what led me to do that work. All I had to say as I melted was, 'Frances ...' and they totally understood. If Frances wanted something, you gave it to her with all of your heart. How did she do that?!

I also remember being at a Conference Board event, watching Marshall and Frances on a panel talking about their work. I didn't just have tears in my eyes. I was out and out bawling. I felt so inspired, and as I remember I'm tearing up again. What exactly were they saying? I don't remember. I just remember their relationship and how much they cared about their work together, and how they cared about each other.

Marshall has stories about how Frances modeled servant leadership to her leaders at the Girl Scouts when she asked him to work with her team over a weekend, the only time he had available in his schedule. He'd said he was happy to do that for her, but his problem was that he was coming back from a week of working on the road, and would begin his new travel week after her event, and he needed somehow to do laundry. So she personally did his laundry for him, in full view of her leaders, while he worked with her team.

Twice when I was at social events with Frances, she would steer me towards spending time with a particular person there. One time it was another guest who she knew was socially awkward, and she asked me to spend time with him. Another time was with her honored guest, Alan Mullaly, shortly after he'd started working with Ford. The three of us were standing together talking, and suddenly she left. I'd been reading about Ford's situation and had made a suggestion to Alan, and he'd become animated and responded, 'That's exactly what I plan to do!' and continued explaining in more detail. I guess Frances felt he was taken care of and she could now take care of other guests. She always had that awareness.

Did I mention when I think of the sexiest woman I've ever met, I think of Frances? In her 90s, even. She had something.

One day in San Diego when I was driving Marshall Goldsmith and Frances from the event to the San Diego Airport, Marshall and Frances were discussing leadership. I remember Frances saying, 'Well, if we don't understand leadership by now, well, back to the farm!'.

I find it kind of funny as I realize my dreams now are to go back to the farm. For many reasons. I did grow up in a very rural area, so in a sense I'm going 'back to the farm'. But somehow it's more of a sense of accomplishment for me. I know I can lead my project from the farm, given virtual tools that allow me to connect across the globe. And I miss nature. I go for walks and enjoy the sky and ocean of San Diego, but it's not the same as digging in the fertile, dark soil of the midwest where I grew up. Having survived many midwestern blizzards and subzero temperatures, I do know the difference between a San Diego and a Minnesota winter. And I've enjoyed the temperate, forgiving climate of San Diego. But nature is calling.

Were you ever part of Frances' world? Please share your personal experiences in the comments below. I'd love to read them.

Marilyn McLeod is Publisher of Celebrating Coaches Magazine, and is currently looking for a small farm home in a temperate area of the midwest.