The Framework for Negotiations

“It is important to lead people to the perspective you want them to share as opposed to telling them. For instance, if you are trying to have the other side agree to better pricing, indicate an interest in a potential opportunity for future work together and that if the pricing is more reasonable, it may be easier for a longer term or an option to renew. Find ways to communicate what you hope to achieve by finding what motivates the other side.” Alina Singer, partner at Wargo, French & Singer LLP

Many of us often shy away from asking for more or better: more money, better working arrangements, a larger team, or better prices. Some of us are afraid to ask. Some of us do ask, but stop short of asking for what we really want or what we are truly worth.? No matter what your strengths and weaknesses are, the more negotiations you take part in, the more prepared you will be for future dealings.

One of my earliest experiences in negotiations was at a farmers markets with my mom, Lena.? As she reviewed fruits and vegetables displayed in the stalls she often asked the price and proceeded to inspect the produce. Lena would then walk over to the next stall offering similar produce to get an understanding of the value and prices for similar products.? We would then return to the stall where she found the price/value most favorable and would start to negotiate. Her bargaining often involved three variables: price, quantity and quality of the produce. We often walked away with a little bruised fruit at a great price; or more quantity with a volume discount.? Some sellers would not bargain, and so we found the ones that did - it was a game.?

We negotiate nearly every day - who will wash the dishes after dinner? Who will walk the dog tomorrow morning? Knowing what works and what doesn’t can allow you to create a tailored strategy for every negotiation you participate in.? By identifying the roles of those involved, the value each party offers, and counterpart’s advantages, you can better prepare to work toward a common goal. Checking in with yourself throughout the discussion can also help ensure you stay on the path to success.

To develop a strong negotiation strategy, consider the following steps:

• Define your role
• Understand your value
• Understand your counterpart’s vantage point
• Check in with yourself

Know your negotiation style and the style of your opponent

It is important to know your own style, and study the negotiation style of your opponent. Knowing opponent's motivations and goals can help frame your negotiation “as solutions to a problem that they have.”?

Listen and pay attention to verbal and nonverbal clues

Begin with listening, making it about the other person, validating their emotions, and creating enough trust and safety to begin a real conversation.? “Effective negotiators are conscious of verbal, paraverbal (how it's said), and nonverbal communications. The 7-38-55 rule says 7 percent of a message is based on words, 38 percent from tone of voice, and 55 percent from body language and facial expressions,” explains Chris Voss in? Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

Create value in a negotiation

“Value creation occurs when solutions are found that benefit both parties, or at least benefit one of them without making the other worse off,” says Harvard Business School Professor Mike Wheeler in the online course Negotiation Mastery. This is commonly called win-win negotiation because both parties leave the bargaining table in the same or better position than they arrived.?

Use this 7 Elements of Negotiation guide by Harvard Business Review to create value in your negotiation.

Finally, to round out your negotiation skills you need to reflect on past negotiations and identify areas for improvement. After each negotiation—successful or not—reflect on what went well and what could have gone better. Doing so can allow you to evaluate the tactics that worked in your favor and those that fell short. After evaluating your strengths and weaknesses, identify areas you want to work on and create a plan of action. You will often find you’ve “underestimated your own power, and overestimated theirs,” says Jeff Weiss, a partner at Vantage Partners, author of the forthcoming HBR Guide to Negotiating.? You have to believe in your worth.