Framed
Like it or not, you’ve been framed. You’ve framed others too. Not just some-one. Everyone you’ve ever met or imagined. Think: male, female, black, white, tall, short, extrovert, introvert, manager, staff, marketing, operations, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, leave, remain. Whatever category we apply to ourselves, or to others, creates an experience, an awareness, of same-as or different-to.
‘I’m a white, male, Christian from the North East of England. I like riding motorbikes.’ Notice what those descriptors evoke for you. Reflect on which draw you towards me and which push you away from me. Have those words created a sense of greater affinity with me or do they now make me feel more alien to you? How are they the same or different to the labels that you apply to yourself?
Why does this matter? Well, the categories, the frames of reference, we use are always selective and simplifications of a wider reality and, thereby, reductionist. They draw our attention to certain attributes and cause us to not-notice others. They carry personal-cultural value judgements and trigger emotional responses that influence, often reinforce, our beliefs, attitudes and behaviour.
So - what happens if we switch frames, re-frame? What then becomes possible?
How can I help you reframe your reality and relationships? Get in touch! [email protected]
Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy Practitioner
5 年Sounds like a different concept / process Nick. As I understand neuroception is outside awareness. Referred to as an embodied "story with out words".
Bupa, Aviva and Cigna Recognised Counsellor - Practices at The Eaves, Godalming and Nicholson House, Weybridge
5 年Hello John Thank you for adding to this interesting conversation that was sparked by Nick's thought provoking article. I'm glad the lens metaphor resonated. Humans are relational beings so it is important for us to be able to distinguish between those relationships or potential relationships which are safe and those which are not. I wonder how we do this on LinkedIn and other virtual platforms?
Bupa, Aviva and Cigna Recognised Counsellor - Practices at The Eaves, Godalming and Nicholson House, Weybridge
5 年What an interesting article Nick. I noticed the heading 'Framed' caught my attention and curiosity. I also noticed reading your description of yourself and nodding internally at the things that I know about you from our conversations here on LinkedIn.? Then I noticed a note of surprise when you mentioned you like to ride motorbikes. It occurs to me that obviously I don't know you at all really - only those things that you choose to reveal here and my interpretation of them.?? I wonder if our framing of people is an unconscious process which is part of our survival mechanism that helps us work out whether we feel safe, whether we want to get to know the person or not, do they remind us of someone we know and like or someone who has caused pain?? So we take an 'instant photograph' as a beginning.? Of course we are all influenced by our own internal lenses.? Having taken a photo I wonder how often we take a closer look at our initial impression and change or adjust our lens.? Are we close up or standing afar?? Certainly in my work as I get to know my clients my frame of reference widens and gets sharper. How many times have we all put people in the wrong frame and been willing to put that right?