14 Key Principles for a Peaceful Life by Adnan Qaiser

Dear Friends:

You would agree that our fast-paced and rushing lives have not only tired us out, but also negatively affect our physical health and mental peace. In our desire to achieve every success, buy every comfort, and acquire every acclaim, we inordinately put our personal wellbeing, cognitive (mental) ability, and emotional sustenance under a lot of stress.

Perhaps a slowdown is in order. Remember: Everything that we accomplish or achieve comes with a cost. And a price that steals your peace of mind and a good night’s sleep is always too high in value or worth.

1. Embrace Change and Impermanence

Everything is temporary in this world and in our lives. Just as seasons change, so do our circumstances.

Remember: There is no permanent happiness in this world, as there is no permanent despair. So go with the flow and have confidence that everything shall fall into place where it should.

In his 1970’s bestseller, American writer and futurist, Alvin Toffler had noted in his book titled “Future Shock :” “Change is the process by which the future invades our lives, and it is important to look at it closely, not merely from the grand perspectives of history, but also from the vantage point of the living, breathing individuals who experience it. The acceleration of change in our time is, itself, an elemental force. This accelerative thrust has personal and psychological, as well as sociological, consequences.”

Thus, embrace the ephemeral events in your life, with the satisfaction that they are only transitory and shall never last permanently.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

Be fully alive and thrive in the present moment. Detach from past regrets or future anxieties. Value, what is “here and now.” Life remains a train journey. If you remain engrossed in your destination, or too preoccupied with what you have left behind, you will never enjoy the picturesque beauty of the nature that should behold your sight.

Remember: Past we cannot change; nor have any control over the future. Thus, perfecting the present moment makes sense. If the times are hard, it is time to learn your lesson (and if the grueling days and testing times stretch; understand, you are not learning your life lesson). If the spell, however, is blissful, express gratitude and enjoy – all the time remembering that nothing shall last long, even our sorrows or happiness.

3. Cultivate Compassion and Restraint

Be big-hearted and empathetic to others. Respond to negativity with tenderness and affinity. “Letting go” saves you from unnecessary hassle, altercation or vexation.

Remember: Rude and critical people are often struggling with themselves. Soften your reactions and maintain your inner peace. Moreover, it is imperative not to react (instantly) but respond with composure and restraint, because today’s foe could be tomorrow’s friend.

4. Let Go of Control

You cannot rein in your life. Neither can you speed up your life’s happenings, nor alter the results of your choices. Moreover, what is philosophically called the “free-will” remains a misnomer. What we consider as our “choices” – after careful rational deliberations – are predetermined divine proceedings. Otherwise, why our, so-called “free-will” doesn’t always render desired (favorable) outcomes.

Therefore, instead of trying to control the events, learn to go with the flow. And trust that things will unfold as they are meant to be in the larger framework of our existence.

5. Practice Silence and Meditation

All answers lie in silence. Quieten your mind and meditate. Silence will automatically begin to speak itself, responding to all your queries through your subconscious or intuition. However, be mindful: While some answers would arrive based on your “existing knowledge or past experience,” some responses may be totally alien to you making no sense at all – which should not be relegated or discarded. Try to find the meaning of the message through repeat process.

Remember: “What we do not know, doesn’t mean it does not exist.”

6. Maintain Good Health and Emotional Balance

Good health and emotional equilibrium give you peace of mind. Adopt a healthy lifestyle and try to harmonize your thoughts and emotions.

While our mind tries to rationalize our decisions, our heart often submits to sentimental undertakings. As I have stated earlier, no matter how calculated step you may take, you may still go wrong. On the other hand, a plunge, without considering the consequences, may fetch you great fortunes. ?

Nevertheless, try spending time in nature without thinking about the yesterday, today, or tomorrow. That will calm your senses and bring tranquility to your temperament and disposition.

7. Gain Financial Freedom

Some people ascribe peace of mind with the riches and wealth. While affluence and purchasing power bring some comfort to one’s life, money alone hardly plays any role in bringing contentment of heart and soul. Most of the time it robs one the peace of mind, because by becoming addicted to wealth, one tends to strive to gain more and more (through hook or crook), while all the time being fearful of losing their treasure.

However, one’s economic stability and financial independence, in which a person is not dependent on any external factor, does bring peace of mind.

8. Control Your Expenses

Binge buying, similar to binge eating, stays harmful. One cannot gain monetary autonomy by keeping expenses higher than the income. Debt eventually breaks one’s back. Thus, it is vital to have our individual ‘bottom lines” similar to the accounts spreadsheets of businesses. A bottom line reflects profits or losses of an enterprise after adding and subtracting all its revenues (income) and liabilities (debt).

A good way to controlling expenses is to keep cash in hand and avoid using credit or debit cards. By remaining cognizant to your accounts balance sheet, one can effectively harness the expenses, which fetch great solace, peace of mind, and a good night’s sleep.

9. Capitalize Social Capital (Fame, Influence and Relationships)

Man has always remained a social animal. Moreover, per the idiom, “Birds of same feather flock together,” humans need social relationships for their psychological needs and physiological growth.

While addressing a rally of some 20,000 people in West Berlin on September 13, 1964, Martin Luther King?had stated “Whether it be East or West, men and women search for meaning, hope for fulfillment, yearn for faith in something beyond themselves, and cry desperately for love and community to support them in this pilgrim journey.”

Furthermore, according to Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs , after addressing his anatomical (bodily) and safety needs, man yearns for love and belonging, respect and societal acclaim.

Thus, it is essential to build your social receptiveness, homogeneity, and cohesion through congenial attitude rather than vying for a celebrity status – which brings a toll on your peace of mind and repose.

10. Social Media Disconnect

Social media remains an artificial life. You have friends, whose real identity cannot be ascertained. You have Followers, who give you a false sense of your “celebrity status” or ascendency to fame. Moreover, the Likes and Comments in a superficial environment may add to your adrenaline; they are mostly fictitious and pretentious.

Moreover, social media has remained a major cause of matrimonial frictions (due to suspicion and cheating), fraud, and teenagers’ mental maladies (owing to their excessive dependence on unreal and unsafe relationships).

Thus, instead of living in a “make belief” environment, it is best to disconnect from the spurious social media, and make your mark in the real world. Enjoy the company of your actual living friends, value their honest opinions and rejoice their genuine appreciation.

11. Be Moderately Ambitious Having a Purposeful Life

Remember: Those who run very fast, don’t reach very far.

Thus, it is imperative to have modest and achievable goals in life that fulfill your cherished desires but without putting you under unnecessary physical strain or mental stress. Equally important is to “determine and define” your purpose of life – which, you will find subsequently, does not reside in serving your own self, but others.

Auschwitz survivor and psychologist, Viktor E. Frankl makes several remarkable observations in his famous book Man’s Search for Meaning . He notes, for instance, “It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.” At another place, he narrates, “Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.”

So try finding your purpose – not what you want from your life, but what your life wants from you.

12. Acknowledge Your Cognitive Deficiency

Accept that you are not a “know all and everything” type of a person. Your knowledge is based on what you have read, learnt, or experienced in life. Thus, as stated earlier, we must always remember that what we “do not know” doesn’t necessarily mean that it “does not exist” or “is not possible at all.”

I wonder if you have noticed that I have not advised you to go forth and seek more knowledge after accepting your limited understanding – because there is no end to gaining erudition or edification.

Remember: This universe is full of mysteries and profundity. However, we are not meant to learn each and everything. We should only know what serves our preoccupation and helps us go on living peacefully with our everyday life.

13. Adopt Serenity and Spirituality

To delve into the matters of religion is not the aim of this article.

However, with one’s limited insight, the mysticism of spirituality differs from a priest-headed religion. In one’s view, there are two ways to achieve “resonance” with the divine universal power: Either to become virtuous and rigidly follow the ethical, moral and practicing rituals, as ordained in some holy scripture; or to become compassionate, benevolent and tender hearted towards all the creatures of the world – humans, plants and animals, even the planet itself.

Thus, by becoming a spiritual human being, not only that one gets connected to the divine controlling power – or energy, if you will – of our life through “fate” – a philosophical concept of Essentialism – but also achieves personal fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment.

14. Never Lose Your Orbit

Lastly, friends, remember that like everything in this universe moving in a certain orbit and oscillating in its unique frequency or vibration, we all survive and thrive in our distinct spheres. And similar to an atom getting lost into oblivion after losing its orbit, we also get astray after losing the gravitational pull of our social web or family cohesion.

Thus, it is wise to keep a check on one’s ambitions and feel satisfied – and thankful – to what life has presented us. Conquering the world remains a myth that looks good only in fiction books or thriller movies.

Remember: In our short span of lives, we are expected to weather the storms, dance in the rain, and soak in its sunshine. So go forth finding your life’s meaning and exploiting your purpose, but without losing your inner peace and tranquility.

Wishing you a fulfilling and peaceful life.

~ Adnan Qaiser , Sept 14, 2024 ~