Four Ways to Slow Down when Too Busy

' You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop'. Rumi

I have been so busy since Christmas and though I generally do a digital detox at week ends I find I need more and more time ' doing nothing', 'being rather than doing'. I know that like many of the busy women I work with, my natural habit energy is busy. There is always one more thing to do. I want to be more, achieve more, do more. I do not like saying no. I am naturally a giver, an over giver. I know about this habit energy of 'busy' for years, and I realise that 21st century living with our always on, multi-tasking ( we know now this is not actually possible), screen addictions, expectations of being super-human ( especially those of us working professionally, building a business or wanting to both make our mark on the world and to live a happy and peaceful life), and the experience of many of us who try though sheer effort to overcome toxicity, bullying, and unkind workplace cultures. We are used to living with stress. It is time to learn to manage our stress.

I know the antidote to the habit energy of over- business, and I am grateful for that. I am happy to acknowledge here that sometimes I can get sucked back into over busy-ness, into getting out of balance with the way I manage my doing - being energy. So I want to share the four things that are helping me to both notice and to know how to re-balance as I build my beautiful new business.

1) Use technology - be the BOSS I can't believe how I resisted scheduling things like this blog or meditations or teachings I share online. I thought anything less than live was somehow not as good. Fiddlesticks - because I finally embraced scheduling, I now know that I can also extend this to video courses where I share, teach and impact others as one way of making my contribution to the world. A game changer for me and something I am really enjoying growing into.

2) Define the end of my workday I work and live in the same space, and I work for myself so there is no natural end of day. I also work with women whose professional day does end at a certain time but who carry the work home with them, maybe only in their heads or sometimes on their phone - alive and buzzing into the evening and the night. On behalf of us all, I define the end of my workday with a little ritual. I close and put my apple mac away , I do a small household or garden task and I then light a candle and do my gratitude practise, calling to mind and journaling on all that I am grateful for in this day,( twenty minutes total time commitment if you are wondering).

3) Playtime Some years ago I had to work really hard to find out what my play /creative/ joyful/ natural 'being' moments are. Somehow, I was too grown up, too professional, too mature to have creative down time. In reality I recognise only in looking back that actually I was too driven , and my downtime was actually often taken up with unhealthy stress management strategies that largely included junk food, wine, a couch and netflix binges. Even now, I can recognize my tendency towards over- busy and over -doing when I drift in this direction instead of spending time in my beloved play time of gardening, walking, reading, colouring, photography, cloud watching, belly laughs with close friends......

4) Feed my soul I might call this my spirituality or meaning making. It will be no surprise to you if you are a regular follower of mine that I not only provide this deep listening container /support for others engaging in meaning making in their life, but it is also the foundation of my own way of being in the world. So my own busy day is always book ended with my morning and evening practise. Simple is as simple does. I light a candle and I sit. This is my formal practice, how I build my muscle of being rather than doing.

This is probably the foundation of all of my Coming Home to Calm activities with my wonderful busy women clients. I think this meaning making activity of being rather than doing is beautifully described by John O' Donoghue as he writes here about solitude.

'Solitude is one of the most precious things in the human spirit. It is different from loneliness. When you are lonely, you become acutely conscious of your own separation. Solitude can be a homecoming to your own deepest belonging. One of the lovely things about us as individuals is the incommensurable in us. In each person, there is a point of absolute non connection with everything else and with everyone. This is fascinating and frightening. It means that we cannot continue to seek outside ourselves for things we need from within. The blessings for which we hunger are not to be found in other places or people. These gifts can only be given to you by yourself. They are at home at the hearth of your soul.'JOHN O'DONOHUE (Excerpt from the book, Anam Cara)

As we begin another week of each of us contributing in our unique way in the world I wonder what are your own ways noticing when the habit energy of busy is getting out of balance? What are the actions or rituals that help you to spend some time in 'being' mode even in the midst of ever busy-ness? Please share in the comments or if you would like to chat get in touch [email protected].

Why not create a pause for yourself with my one At Home Mindfulness and Self Compassion Retreat -a lovely long, resourceful pause, for you to do in your own time, in your own space, in your own way. https://mindfulfacilitation.com/courses/one-day-at-home-mindfulness-and-self-compassion-retreat/