The Four Steps To Find Yourself

Do you find yourself doing what everyone else expects you to do?

Are there things from your past that keep coming up?

Have you lost sight of the things that truly make you happy?

Do you sometimes question your values and wonder if they are true to you?

We're going to be talking about how to find yourself and how to become who you truly want to become.?We’re going to follow a format by a philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, who thought way differently than everybody else did in his time.

STEP ONE

Don’t follow the herd mentality.?

Friedrich Nietzsche said that we all have universal values. What we call truths; the things that we think are values, the things that we're supposed to follow, and things that we're supposed to do, everything that we follow with society are only personal expressions from the people who promoted them. The reality is that those things were made up by people who were no smarter than you and me, and they're usually long gone.??

Do you want to live your life listening to people who have already passed or do you want to live your life the way that you want to live it??

Don’t follow the herd.

Following the herd is a tribal thing, we're all tribal people. So we want to fit in but to create the life that we truly want to and know that we have the potential of creating, we're going to have to stand out.

Going with the herd mentality limits our individuality and it also limits our creativity.?

How many people don't wear what they want to wear because it makes them stand out in some way? How many people don't act the way that they want to act or do the things that they want to do simply because they’re worried about the thoughts and opinions of other people?

That is the herd mentality. You are limiting your full expression of who you are because you don't want to make other people uncomfortable. You're dimming your light just to keep other people comfortable.?

People don't want to stand out because they have the fear of being rejected, they have the fear of other people saying no to them, they have the fear of being ridiculed.?

Back in the day, we needed the tribe to survive. We had to fit in or else we were going to die. But nowadays we have a society and systems built so that we can survive without needing other people.?

That doesn’t mean that you have to be a loner forever but if the future that you want to create doesn't fit in with the tribe that you currently have, you might have to leave that tribe and find a new one.?

The herd consists of people who have in a sense, killed their true self; they've killed their dreams. They've killed their goals and the life that they want simply to fit in.?

If you want to create the life that you want, you've got to stand out. You've got to be okay knowing that there's a chance that somebody will ridicule you or try to make you feel insecure. You've got to have the mental fortitude not to listen to them.?

STEP TWO

Embrace the difficulty of self-discovery?

As you start to discover yourself, things are going to pop up for you and that's okay. Friedrich Nietzsche says it's only when we're willing to face the challenge of life that we're spiritually growing.

It's about taking the difficult path, distinctly distancing yourself from others who aren't on the same path as you. That's what it requires of you, the path of self-discovery. It means that you might have to walk alone for a little while. You might have to leave the tribe that you've been so close to your entire life.

Self-discovery can be hard because you have to go into your past to create the self that you're trying to create. You're going to have to get rid of the old things, the traumas, the fears, the worries, all of those things that are holding you back and are going to be slowing you down as you're creating that.

“The cave that you are afraid to enter holds the treasure that you seek.”?

What cave are you afraid to enter? The life you want will only come by overcoming the skeletons in your closet, not by acting like there are no skeletons in your closet, not by acting that there are no traumas that you need to overcome, not by acting like there weren't people who bullied you or emotional neglect, or physical neglect, or mental, or physical, or sexual abuse, leaving, acting like those things never existed are not going to help you going forward and creating a life that you want.

You've got to go back and relive those things and work through them.?Embrace the difficulty of self-discovery.?It's hard sometimes, but it is the path that you need to follow to create the life that you want.?

So what cave are you afraid to enter? You've got to figure out a way to get into it.

STEP THREE

Say yes to what gives you meaning.

One of the famous quotes that Friedrich Nietzsche has is: “He who has a ‘why’ can bear almost any ‘how’.”

My very first mentor used to say something very similar to this. He said: “If your ‘why’ is strong enough, your ‘how’ will reveal itself.”

What is it that you loved as a kid??The little kid still lives inside of you and all of the things that you loved as a little kid, you still love now, it would still bring you joy.

How many things have you muted in yourself simply because you feel like you are too old now and not supposed to do those things? Once again, this is just another societal construct based on the herd mentality.?

Make a happy list. What did you love as a kid? What do you love now? What do you want to try? What creativity or music makes you come alive? What actions make you come alive?Bring as many of those things into your day and stop doing things that you don't like.?This might not be able to happen immediately so make a transition plan. Make a goal by 2023 that you will not do anything that doesn't light you up inside.

Give yourself a couple of years to work on creating the life that you want. In the meantime you might have to do some things you don't want to or that you don’t love but you can work on transitioning those things out over the next couple of years.

Is that possible for everybody? Yes. The only thing that's holding you back from doing it, is you.?So make a happy list and bring as many of those things into your life as possible, say yes to what gives you meaning.?

STEP FOUR

Know your true values. These are not the values that have been taught to you.

Do you know what your true values are? Remember that these are not the things you want to accomplish. What makes you feel alive? What makes you feel free??

Write down everything and everyone that limits your freedom as a person; your partner, your friends, your work, your actions, whatever it is that limits your freedom, and figure out a way to work through every single one of those.

A way to think of your true values is to remember that we're all going to die one day. How do you want to be described at your funeral? What do you want them to say about you? Those are your values, not what your parents told you to do, or what they told you is right or wrong. Not what society has told you, or your friends and every construct has told you is right or wrong.?

What are your true values? How do you want to be described every single day? When you walk away from a group, how do you want people to talk about you? What do you want them to say about you?

What do you want them to feel??Think about this, take out a pen and paper and make a list.

When you wake up every single morning, look at that list of true values and ask yourself how you can bring those values into your every day, even if it is in some small way.

So to find yourself and to become who you truly want to become don't follow the herd mentality, embrace the difficulty of self-discovery, say yes to what gives you meaning, and find your true values.

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