A four step process to make your thoughts more positive.

When you have negative thoughts it’s like navigating through life with weights attached to your legs.

You will eventually move forward but at a cost, usually to yourself, your mental health and overall happiness.

Your thoughts are incredibly powerful. Choose them wisely

And it is a choice. You are not your thoughts. You are separate from them. Your reality is often reflected in your thoughts.

Doubts and fears that come up for you stop you.

Think negative things will happen and they probably will.

Only good happens to you? It more than likely does.

The best thing is that we’re in control of this even if we don’t realise it.

You can use your thoughts to go beyond your own limitations.

Our limitations are often self imposed and we can change them by changing our thoughts.

Our thoughts influence our feelings and emotions which influence our actions and behaviour. This is known as the cognitive triangle.

So when our thoughts are predominately negative or support us in playing small -that is what will show up for us in our lives.

I want to shout it out loudly and fiercely, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.

If you change your thoughts - make them conscious rather than just accepting the status quo - you can change your life.

You can move past your limitations.

It’s like the old Henry Ford saying - whether you think you can or you can’t, whatever you think you’re right.

So let’s start with the predominant thought that’s going on in your mind right now. What is that? Is it a good thought or is it something that’s going to harm you.

You’re useless. Why would anyone take you seriously if that’s how you’re showing up. What will other people think of me if I asked for more?

Any of these sound familiar?

Let’s look at ways that we can start changing the message.

This is a very simple 4 step process that you can repeat as often as you need to or want to.

Step 1:

I’d love for you to get 2 pieces of paper. On the left hand side of the first write out all the thoughts that you say to yourself on a regular basis that you would never say to anyone else.

Let’s take a big one.

‘You’re going to fail if you do that just like you have done before’.

This is your brain trying to protect you. It’s remembering that one time when something didn’t go according to plan and you felt red hot embarrassment and annoyed with yourself that you tried in the first place.

Step 2:

Examine and think about the evidence. On the second piece of paper draw a line and write all the evidence that supports your thought on one side and on the other side everything that contradicts it.

We’re quite often harder on ourselves than we are to anyone else. Where your thoughts are concerned ask yourself ‘would you say this to a 5 year old child or to your best friend?

Step 3:

Think of an alternative thought that you can have based upon the positive evidence and write it on the right hand side of the paper. This is usually something that you would say to someone you cared about.

This could be - Failure is part of the process. It is not a reflection on you but instead a sign that a few tweaks need to be made. An alternative could be you felt like you failed in the past on a large project and the project still turned out well in the end.

The mere act of writing these down helps start a new message in our heads.

Step 4:

Remember this new phrase and say it instead the next time the fear of failure comes up.

You can re-frame all of those limiting thoughts on the left hand side of the paper to something that encourages you rather than pulls you back.

It’s that simple to begin with - Change your thoughts - change how you feel and then that will change how you behave.

The really important thing with all of this is stopping before you buy into a thought as fact.

Being a witness of your thoughts rather than a victim.

I'd love to know how you get on.

Loved reading this? Why not check out this additional article on thoughts here.

Philippa Wickham is an ex FTSE100 Banker turned professional coach who helps corporate women re-program their minds for success. Why not book in for a no obligation call to find out more about how we could work together - https://calendly.com/pkwcoaching/discovery