Four Rules for Healthier Boundaries

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When it comes to list making and my general time management and organization, I like rules. I like things to be clear-cut. Rules save me time — I’m not sitting there wondering whether to take the call, go to the meeting, or have another glass of wine.??

I find that the idea of having go-to rules to make tricky decisions tends to resonate with a lot of people, especially now that hybrid work and WFH are more common.

There are more and more difficult choices coming up around how you spend your time and what you agree to. I meet plenty of people who have trouble setting boundaries and sticking to them. It goes against our instincts to be agreeable in all situations.

Your boundaries might disappoint people momentarily— and that’s okay. Your job is not to make everyone happy all the time. Your job is to create routines and rules that support your ability to find joy and satisfaction in your work and your life.??

We’re about two months into the new year, and now is the perfect time to take a good look at what’s working for you and what’s not. Where are you with your goals? What areas could use some more attention? What is taking up too much of your time and energy?

With these questions in mind, I offer you these four rules for creating healthy boundaries that will support you in your goals for 2024.?

1. Say no.?

Do you have a hard time saying no when someone asks you for a favor or sends you an invitation to get together? You’re not alone. I do too. But it’s time to practice saying “no” and protecting your time. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.?

I learned this lesson the hard way back in 2016 when my appendix ruptured. As I recovered, I became much more discerning about what I agreed to. Having a health issue changes your priorities — but it shouldn’t take an organ exploding in your body for you to make a change.

After that experience, I understood why Tim Ferriss says in his book that he only takes on opportunities that are a “hell yeah.”??

It may seem a bit intense, but when you only agree to things that you’re passionate about, you find you tend to put more energy into the tasks. Saying no gives more time for important tasks, obligations, and most importantly yourself.?

2. Take a moment.?

When you have an important task to do, it’s tempting to jump right in before you’ve even thought about it.

But this ‘go-getter’ attitude can be what’s hindering your productivity. By taking five minutes to quickly jot down a plan or brainstorm different ways of tackling the task, you can save yourself a lot of time in the long run.

So instead of just doing what someone asked of you right then and there, pause. Write it down on your to-do list. Inform the person that you’ll get to that task once you’ve developed an action plan. Taking away the pressure of every “to do” being a “to do right now” can make a huge difference.

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3. Don’t answer your phone (or check it!).

Only answer if it’s absolutely necessary. I started doing this years ago and it’s changed my workflow.??

Here’s the rule:? If the person calling can give you information about the task you’re working on or you have an appointment for that call, you pick it up. Otherwise, it’s not a high priority and it can wait.

And use discipline when returning the call. When you insist on an appointment before you answer a call, it lets people know that your time is valuable. I even have a rule for the times I do phone calls. 11am and 3pm. That’s it. And guess what? People make it work.

You can develop a similar plan for checking your phone. These days our phones are full of things to distract us, from apps to texts. Make a plan for the times that you will be checking your phone and set a timer. It’s too easy to get sucked into something and find that half an hour has gone by! A timer keeps you accountable. I also love the “Do Not Disturb” function on the iPhone. Then you don’t even see those pesky pop-ups.

4. Make yourself a priority.

It’s easy to say you’re too busy to look after yourself. It’s one of the first things out the window when you’re in a rush. But even the smallest amount of time can help you — ten minutes makes a tremendous difference.?

Treat your ‘me time’ appointment in the same way you would a doctor’s appointment or lunch with a friend. You can use this time to read, meditate, stretch, or anything else that gives your brain a much-needed break.?

How do you set boundaries?

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BONUS FREEBIE: Want even more ways to stay organized, productive and less stressed? CLICK HERE to get access to my List-Making Starter Kit. It will boost your efficiency and get you back to doing more of the things you love.

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