The Four Requisites For Lasting Change

Why don't people get the results that they want?

You know what to do, you know how to do it, and you even know why you want it! Yet, the your desired results still seem to elude you, or are simply inconsistent. So what gives?

As 2020 rapidly approaches, this is stereotypically when people begin to self-reflect, audit their habits and behaviors, and set new goals. They create an empowering vision for their future, and begin to take new actions. Yet, many times their old programming derails them within the first few weeks of the year and they quickly find them back in the same place as before the ball dropped at midnight January 1st.

Why does this happen? The answer lies in your unconscious mind. At all waking moments, both your conscious and unconscious mind are at work. On average, you are processing around 2 millions "bits" of information per second. However, consciously you are only able to effectively take in around 126 bits per second, while the unconscious mind is processing all 2 million bits of information. To get down to the 126 bits per second, the 2 million bits are deleted, distorted, and generalized based on our unconscious filters. These filters include language, memories, attitudes, values & beliefs. The 126 bits of information affect your internal representations, your emotional state, and your physiology which create your end behavior. The goal to create change is not to attempt to process more information at once (more bit per second), the goal is to choose a more empowering set of 126 bits. If you are not getting the results you want, you can usually trace that back to disempowering filters in your unconscious mind causing you to perceive a disempowering 126 bits. Adjust the filters, and you will see a change in behavior and subsequently the end result.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming has taught us that there are four requisites to achieving lasting change in any area of our life. First, releasing negative emotions and baggage through a variety of techniques, then setting an empowering goal, then taking massive action towards your goal, and finally, maintaining your focus on your goal.

The first requisite for change: Release negative emotions and baggage.

Emotional baggage is many times one of the major reasons why people repeat habits and behaviors that they truly want to change. Many things in your life including significant emotional events, trauma, and negative experiences can create baggage. It can be thought of as a small black pouch that is stored somewhere in your neurology, and when you are triggered by something in your environment, whether that is a person, place, or similar event, that bag is presented to us to deal with. And at that moment you can either handle the baggage, or shove it right back down. Unfortunately, the norm in our western society is to shove it back down, distract ourselves from it with busy work, intoxicate ourselves to avoid it, or even identify with it. Have you ever met someone that identified with their baggage? They seem to walk through life looking at the world through their past experiences and say things like "My life is this way because this happened..." or "How could I not be like this? Haven't you heard what I've been through?"

When you view your world through baggage-riddled filters, you will continue to repeat the same cycles that got you to where you are now. Same relationships, different faces. Same business, different name. Same weight, different diet. Same results, same excuses.

"Most people walk backwards into the future, dragging their past with them."

That is why the first requisite for lasting change is to release negative emotions and baggage. Through a variety of powerful techniques including Mental and Emotional Release Therapy?, Parts Integration, and the Hawaiian forgiveness process Ho'oponopono, you can release and let go of the baggage that is anchoring you to your current results. I remember hearing Bob Proctor say "most people walk backwards into the future, dragging their past with them." Instead, when you release your baggage, you will be able to drop your baggage off in 2019, and enter 2020 clear and ready to make real change in your life.

Work with a trained professional, or learn the NLP baggage release techniques for yourself and begin to clear out your baggage, overcome limiting beliefs, and view your future from a state of empowerment.

The second requisite for change: Set an empowering goal.

Once you are clear of your baggage, now you can begin to set a new goal that empowers you to take action. Many thought leaders, coaches, & influencers teach the final 3 requisites for change, however do not know how or are not aware of releasing baggage. The challenge with setting a goal before releasing your baggage, is you are viewing your world through the baggage, and affects the goals you are setting. Imagine setting the goal to lose 20 pounds this year, while still holding onto the limiting belief "I can't lose weight because can't stop eating cake." What level of action would you take? How long would you stay committed to losing those 20 pounds? Probably not much and not long. So you must release your baggage first in order to set new goals from an empowered state.

"Be reasonable and action oriented in your short term goals. Be grand and results oriented in your long term goals."

There are many different perspectives around goals out there. Some say to dream big and set goals that are out of reach. Others say to set realistic goals to avoid discouragement. Personally, I believe that the correct answer is a mix of both. One of my coaches said it in a way that framed it perfectly. "Be reasonable and action oriented in your short term goals. Be grand and results oriented in your long term goals."

Most people don't set any goals at all because they believe the main purpose of setting goals is to hit them, and they fear they will fall short. And instead of facing that potential "failure," they choose to opt out of setting goals in the first place, and simply remain the same. The purpose behind your goals is not only to hit them, however to set goals that cause you to stretch and grow as a person to accomplish them. I believe that is how you should look at your long term goals. Your goals your goals for the next 3, 5, and 10 years should feel so out of reach that you have no idea how you will accomplish them, and by the time you know how, you will have grown and developed as an individual.

In the short term, meaning your daily, weekly, monthly goals, and project specific goals, you should measure them by achievable actions, rather than only results. In the short term, be addicted to taking action and being consistent with the activity that will produce the goal rather than addicted to the result itself. For the short term and project specific goals, I prefer to use the SMART goal model.

S stands for Simple & Specific. Your short term goals should be stated simply without many complexities, and should be very specific about what you want.

M stands for Measurable & Meaningful to you. Measurable is where the action oriented comes in, as you should be able to measure the goal day to day, and know exactly how far off from the goal you are. A goal must be Meaningful to you because you will not be motivated to take action on something that you do not care about.

A stands for Achievable, All areas of life, & As if now. Make sure you know you can achieve your goal within the timeframe that you set for yourself, because if it is not achievable, you will lose motivation and lower the amount of action you are taking towards achieving it as you get closer to your target date. Your goals must also be supportive all All areas of your life. If you set a short term career goal that is so large that it causes you to neglect your health, family & relationships, spirituality, and personal growth & self development, then you will lose momentum in your activity as those areas suffer in the progress of achieving the goal. As if now simply means to state your goal in the present tense. The unconscious mind does not know the difference between something in your imagination, and in your physical reality, so when you state the goal in the present tense or as if it has already happened, your unconscious mind takes that in and believes it.

R stands for Realistic & Responsible/ecological. Similar to achievable, realistic goal setting in the short term is the building block for long term achievement. As you accomplish your short term goals, you build up to you grandiose long term goals, and gain momentum in the process. Responsible & ecological means that your goal needs to be good for self, good for others, and good for community. Ask yourself, does this goal do good for myself and everyone around me?

"The words you use do not describe the world you live in... they create it."

T stands for Timed & Towards what you want. Put a timeframe on when you want to achieve the goal by. Don't become emotionally attached to the timeframe, however your mind still needs a deadline to measure your progress. Towards what you want means that the energy behind your goal needs to be towards a final result, not away from something you don't want. The words you use in setting your goals create the energy behind the actions you take. Another way to think of this is to understand that the words you use do not describe the world you live in... they create it. When you are motivated by moving away from pain, when the pain is gone, so is the motivation. And when you use positive languaging, the energy behind your goal will push you forward towards achievement.

Use this SMART goal model for your short term action-oriented goals to build up your long term progress, and be grandiose in your long term results-oriented goals to stretch yourself and grow into the person required to achieve them.

The third requisite for change: Take massive action towards your goal.

Once you have set your empowering goal, the next step is to begin to take massive action towards accomplishing said goal. It's a no brainer that not taking action leads to no results, however because of baggage, that is exactly what many people do. Since you released your baggage before setting your goal, you will have the congruency to take the necessary actions to accomplish it. To build momentum for yourself, and to communicate to you unconscious mind that you are serious about achieving your goal, immediately after setting the goal, do one small action towards making progress. Instead of procrastinating until later, do it right away. If you set a career goal, make one phone call to a prospective client. If you set a health & fitness goal, do one short set of pushups or jumping jacks. Do something that moves the needle forwards, even if it's just slightly, because your unconscious mind will feel that progress and you will feel more committed to continue now that you have already started.

When I say massive action, I truly mean that. You need to take higher levels of action than you expect in order to achieve your goals on time. Those daily action-oriented goals need to be ambitious enough to produce results, yet not too high that you are inconsistent in doing them.

"Commitment to continuity produces emotional stability."

Consistency in your action is a major component to successfully making change because commitment to continuity produces emotional stability. Keep going with the daily actions that will manifest into your desired results, and you will maintain a more level emotional state in the process to achievement. The emotional ebbs and flows you will experience will not derail you from your goal when you are committed to simply doing the daily actions instead of inspecting your progress every day and feeling like you are losing since the goal has not been accomplished yet.

The fourth requisite for change: Keep your focus on what you want.

"Energy flows where your focus goes."

Many times, if you are not getting the results you are looking for, you may be focusing on your backup plan instead of your commitment plan. It is widely know that your energy flows where your focus goes. If you are focused on your goal every day, you will be able to keep out the distractions that will attempt to get you off track. It is only when you take your focus off your goals that you begin to do things that are not conducive to accomplishing what you want.

A good way to maintain your focus is to write your goal down and keep it in front of you. Have it on your desk so you see it when you are working, on the mirror in your bathroom so you see it in the morning and at night, and keep it on an index card in your wallet so you see your goal whenever you open it. Your thoughts control your focus, and your thoughts are impacted by your five senses. What you see something, it creates a thought. When you hear something, it creates a thought. When you feel something, it creates a thought. Speak your goals out loud a few times per day, and keep them within view consistently so that they remain a dominating thought of your mind. The habit of focus is one you will develop in this process, and when you are focused on your goal, you will maintain the activity necessary to see it all the way through.

Release, Goal, Action, Focus. In that order.

Use these four requisites for change as you lead into a new decade, and take charge of your life. Where will you be in 2030? What will you become? The possibilities are endless, and the only limitation is within your mind. Use this as a model to create lasting change, and achieve all of your goals. You truly deserve it.