Four phrases successful people avoid.

I really don’t think super successful people are much different than the rest of us. You can see they have a confidence that stands out from the rest but when you look closer, it’s not genetics or easy breaks. It’s the way they think. Here are four phrases successful people don’t say.

Successful people avoid saying, “I can’t.”

On the face of it, “I can’t” seems like a statement of fact. I can’t do that. Whatever that is. But truly, I can’t is a declaration of one of two things—fear or boundaries. It’s not that you don’t have limitations; we all do. But I can’t isn’t as much about what you can or can’t do, but rather what you are willing to believe about your capacity as a person. You say, “I can’t apply for that job,” or “I can’t move to a new city.” You can’t because you don’t want to lose what you have. You can’t because you don’t want to look stupid, because you aren’t in the mood to try something new, because the security of the known is preferable to the uncertainty of the possibility. You can’t because you have pre-drawn limitations and you feel better there.

Replace I can’t with I will.

Successful people replace the limitations of “I can’t,” with “I will.” They aren’t willing to do anything or everything but with information, confidence and determination, they focus on personal responsibility and empowerment. Their limitations are fluid—meant to be changed through growth. While they can’t guarantee perfect results right, their focus is on what they are willing to do. I will show up. I will learn something new. I will keep working until I figure it out.

Successful people avoid saying, “I shouldn’t.”

Like I can’t, I shouldn’t is another statement of limitation, but unlike the first, the limitations feel like they are external. There is a right way to do things and your behavior is controlled by what is considered normal. It’s all about fitting in, not making waves, not sticking out too much. You think, I shouldn’t speak up in a meeting. I shouldn’t confront that person. I shouldn’t buy this item. I should give more money to my church. Your actions may or may not be aligned with your core beliefs but the true driving force is security and acceptance in the world around you.

Replace I shouldn’t with I can.

Successful people replace the limitations of “I shouldn’t” with “I can.” A successful life is by design, tailored to the purpose-driven path of the individual. They make decisions about what is best to live a productive and meaning life. When an opportunity arises, they choose. When you ask them to stay a bit longer at the party, they respond with their bigger goals in mind. “I’ve got plans in the morning but I can stay for 15 more minutes.” Their thoughts are always on what they can do, realizing the choice lies with them. I can buy this in a month. I can make that work. I can find you someone else who has the time to support you.

Successful people avoid saying, “I wish.”

I wish is a phrase straight out of a fairy tale. The little ragamuffin or princess-in-the-making waiting for the genie, the fairy godmother, the handsome prince to rescue them. The I wish mindset puts the power of a positive life outside of you. You wish for a change in geography, a different type of relationships, more money. You wish people would see how hard you work. You wish something would change in your life and wish for something more. Psychologist William James explains that wishing happens when what we desire is accompanied by a sense it cannot be attained or achieved.”

Replace I wish with I am.

Successful people replace “I wish” with “I am.” The life they can envision isn’t a fairy tale. They don’t hope for the next lottery ticket or next big break. They see how far they have come and use that energy to create the next step. It’s not about what they don’t have. Instead, look inward and choose what they want to change and what they will keep and grow. They think, I am strong and I will continue to get stronger. I am worthy. I am a leader. I am working towards this next goal.

Successful people avoid saying, “I hope so.”

This one always makes me laugh. When I hear the phrase I hope so, it always seems to mean the opposite of what the words intended. Are you going to make it to the event? I hope so, you say. That’s when I know there is a very good chance you aren’t going to make it. I hope so distances you from the action. It’s not your problem. It’s not your fault. But you sure hope someone does the right thing so it can turn out all right. It’s a statement of disbelief. It’s a statement of minimal hope. You hope you don’t get hurt. You hope it works out the way you want it to. You hope and hope but you don’t change your actions or thoughts because you don’t want to be disappointed.

Replace I hope with I plan.

Successful people people replace “I hope” with “I plan.” They know there is no success fairy on the way, so they become their own superhero. Their dreams and visions become the compass pointing them in the right direction and they begin planning for the next steps. When you ask about what they want, they talk about their plans. I plan to learn more about that. I created a plan to save money so I can take that step. I am planning for a new position in 3-4 years. They take their hope so’s and invest in them with vision and action and transform dreams into plans.

It’s your choice.

It’s a common misperception that successful people are so very different from the rest of us. It’s just not true. You can choose the same thoughts of excellence, productivity and effectiveness. So often, we are simply afraid to embrace the power and intuition residing of us. Be brave! Stay focused and choose your thoughts carefully. You’ll find yourself in a life of your dreams.

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Meet Liz Nead

A speaker, coach and television host, Liz Nead is an expert in Bringing Life Back to Everyday Life. Her passion, Nead Inspiration is impacting the lives of thousands with life coaching, magazine articles, public speaking and life improvement television. She directs and hosts an Emmy Nominated television show called Life Dare which aired on Fox five days a week. Life Dare is an “unscripted” show inviting people to learn from experts and take a “challenge” to bring the lesson to life.

She has authored several best selling books, The 100 Day Journey, Curry Up, an ethnic cookbook, The 180 Life, and 20 Beautiful Women. Her work has been featuredranked on Buzzfeed and reviewed by the Huffington Post. She blogs for Huffington Post and She Knows. Liz is a skilled story-teller and teacher, most recently climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro and competing in the Iowa Strongman Games. Whether she is climbing a mountain, flipping 300 pound tires, producing an award winning television, or conducting experiences in her personal life, her audiences learns valuable lessons to build an influential life.

Her clients include the National Guard, the YWCA, University of Phoenix, Society for Human Resource Management, Principal Financial, the Oregon Women's Conference. She also helps speakers from all over the world bring their message to the stage.Elizabeth has a BS in Political Science and an MPA, creating several popular CD's, including Creating Inspired Vision and the Live Big Project.

She also balances her passion-driven career with a busy family life, raising seven kids in a blended family with her husband, a retired Army Major.

You can reach Liz by phone at 515-664-6881 or via e-mail, [email protected]