The Four Most Effective Words I Know

I have learned that I can face almost any conflict or difficult situation with anyone, powerful or not, by starting the conversation with four simple words:

"Can you help me?".

That's it. These words work wonders. They open doors. They create dialogue. They establish rapport. They engender kindness. They make hard conversations easier.

After speaking these words, the other person usually agrees to be helpful. Then I can say what needs to be said: "I want to understand why you..." then I bring up why I am speaking to them and what I need to say or express.

Why do these words work so well?

I have used these four words for nearly forty years in some very difficult situations. Here is why they work so well.

1. Most people want to be helpful.?Sympathy or empathy is an emotion that feels good. These four words help the other person discover their sense of compassion. That is a good feeling.
2. They lead me to be frank.?Once someone speaks these words and the other person agrees to help, the speaker has committed to a path of honesty. There is no backing down!
3. They level the relationship.?The person using these words is seen as confident and courageous. They gain stature in the eyes of the other, and the other person is asked to bend just a little bit.

I commend them to you. You will find these words extremely useful. Maybe even today!