The Four-Letter Word That Used Correctly Can Accelerate Your Career

We need to talk about the four-letter F word that will be your career game changer if used in healthy doses.

Overusing this will cause you to be stagnant in your career.

OK, I know what's the first four-letter F word you're thinking.

No, it's NOT that word.

I use that word a lot; even my children tell me I overuse this word in the car. They even 'parent' me for overusing this.

What am I talking about? This four-letter F word is what I have focused on to manage my career and has opened many other opportunities for me. The word is...

FEAR

Let's talk about your definition of fear. According to the Cambridge Dictionary:

“An unpleasant emotion or thought that you have when you are frightened or worried by something dangerous, painful, or bad that is happening or might happen”

In my coaching experience, many coachees approach me because of two critical feelings.

They lack self-confidence and are frightened or worried that they can't get that promotion or career change.

These two feelings are often joined at the hip. They feed off each other.

OK, I am not an expert in psychology, but from what I have seen, it's a self-fulfilled prophecy. The more you fear, the more self-doubt you have, and vice-versa.

What happens when you are in this cycle of thoughts and feelings?

What kind of fearful career thoughts do people think about?

Let's put it in context. The coachees' workplace is usually unbearable, OR they know they can BE more. However, the fear that holds them back includes:

• I am scared that I don't have enough relevant experience for me to go outside.
• I am scared I can't step up and be a Manager.
• I am scared my small-business experience won't get me into a large corporate.
• I am scared that I am just XYZ and can't transition into ABC.
• I am scared I am too old to be even looked at for another role.
• I am scared my communication and fear of interviews won't get me another job.

What's the result of feeling fear and thinking these fearful thoughts?

The coachee does not take action for some time until an event triggers their motivation.

They keep doing what they are doing, pray for something to change and cross their fingers. It could be another 6 to 12 months before I hear from them again.

This situation is what I call unhealthy use of fear.

Then, some event will trigger action. Usually:

• I can't stand the boss anymore.
• I can't keep working these hours and not be paid accordingly
• I clock over 60-hour weeks with no recognition.
• I can't do this anymore.
• I dread Sundays and Mondays (Sunday is the last day of the weekend and obviously, Monday is a work day).

I have been there myself when I just wanted to F8ck everything and run. But that won't resolve anything.

So, instead of letting fear get in the way, I have used this F word to serve me. But first, I must fix the self-doubt and build confidence to tackle the fears.

How do I build up my confidence and courage to conquer fear? ?

The only way I have found to build confidence is to take action. Use the F word to give you some healthy tension, like the Nike slogan, "Just Do It".

By taking action, you will learn from your mistakes and propel forward.

However, I am not saying jump head first.

Baby steps.

Like when I was at Lion, where I spent 8.5 great years building my career and network, I got made redundant. I was afraid of change and whether I would find another great place to work.

I feared going for a more senior role. Could I do it? I would have to build up my credibility account again. Can I do that? I want to try a different industry, but I spent 8.5 years in FMCG. Who would like to try me?

So the first baby step I did?

I wrote my CV. That was hard work. I hadn't updated my CV for 8.5 years. What have I done? What achievements did I have?

So, I gained one ounce of self-confidence by taking this baby step. I reflected on all the quantifiable achievements and the jobs I did. I was proud of what I had achieved. Tick.

Next, send out those CVs and meet with recruiters. The fear of talking about myself kept coming up, but by meeting more and more recruiters and repeating my experience and achievements, I gained another ounce of self-confidence.

Thirdly, when recruiters got me an interview, and I went to one after another and fell over a few times, I learned what NOT to do in the interview and gained another ounce.

Finally, I got into an interview for a global business, managing a significant P&L, and working directly for a VP, and I got the final rush of confidence. The fear of going to that interview was HUGE the night before because I wanted this job SO BAD.

But, I went in and used this FEAR and prepared so hard (from this job, I learned how to prepare for an interview and unknowingly created my interview preparation program with some new tools).

The healthy tension from feeling scared, nervous, and anxious got me to push harder. I got through the first interview with more courage and confidence.

Then the psychometric test, a panel interview, and an APAC VP.

Well, I got the job with a $35k pay rise. From there, I learned to use the F word to harbour and muster strength and energy that I never thought I had.

The F word, combined with determination, preparation, and self-belief, created many more opportunities later.

Then what happened?

This F word would come up many more times, and I used it healthily each time. Recently, in December 2021, when I had enough of working for a boss, I decided to go all into my coaching.

The F word reared its ugly head BIG TIME. I was sweating at night, regretting my decision to quit a comfortable, steady paycheck. I ploughed through jobs, kept wanting to press apply, and held myself back.

Then, I remembered what I had done many times with this F word.

So, I took the fear and ate it for breakfast. I took action.

I started planning my coaching project for the next six months; I created my career board and vision board and read all the testimonies I had collected. All these things gave me confidence, especially since I have been DOING this for the past four years. I was already a coach.

That's got to make me a bona-fie coach, surely?

I even gave myself only six months to survive on my own at the beginning of 2022.

Well, I haven't looked back.

More importantly, I used a new mantra.

NOT

"What's the worse it can happen?",

BUT

"What's the best that can happen?" AND "What can I learn from this?".

These two critical questions I ask myself have got me here today.

Ten months after quitting my corporate job to give my coaching a go, along the way, I have started using my time to help an intellectual disability foundation.

All these things I never imagined.

Now, I have exceeded that limit.

I honestly didn't think I had it because I feared it.

What can I do to move forward and be brave?

My best guidance to anyone who approaches me is, what is there to be afraid of? Tell me all the fears first; then, I will give the person a few things to action.

This gets them moving and out of that fear cycle.

So, if you want a new job and move forward, update your CV, search the market, speak to recruiters, or start preparing for that interview.

Learn about yourself, your strengths, and your value proposition. What are the gaps?

Taking the first baby step will only move you FORWARD. The more forward traction you gain, the more courage you build. This bravery will only help you in your career.

Use the F word to help balance out being too confident or optimistic.

Like anything in life, swinging from one extreme to the other is not ideal. You need a fear in life to prevent us from doing stupid things. Our cave men and women ancestors did…fear helped them survive in the wild.

The FORMULA for success I have discovered in equal portions:

FEAR -> ACTION -> COURAGE -> LEARNING -> SUCCESS

Do this all over again once you get to that milestone.

What advice would I give my younger self…

If I had a time machine, there would have been so many things I would have done that fear held me back.

Such as moving to the UK to work, taking a gap year, buying that house, doing a job that's not great on paper, and leaving corporate ten years earlier.

These thoughts are great to amuse me as I can't change the past, but I have learned to use fear to give me the tension I need to help me do the necessary and achieve my goals.

The more I take action, the more courage I feel. The things I was scared of no longer frightened me. Like when I remember being scared of the dark 40 years ago...and there are no monsters I have discovered.

I would tell my younger self that I can't control my external world, but I can be self-aware and manage myself. I hold the remote control.

Always.

And be brave.