What my 4 favorite managers taught me about leadership

No matter where you work, a great manager is key to your success.

Their effectiveness - an ability to influence others, navigate the organization, drive outcomes and create opportunities - helps determine their credibility and in turn help (or hinder) your growth. A good manager may not guarantee your success, but a lousy one will lead to stagnation and decline.

I have had great managers over my career - and as I looked back, four key experiences from four distinct managers helped me improve and prosper. I thought they were worth sharing to benefit managers as well as those evaluating their managers.

Work hard, care harder

My first manager at Intel wore his relentless work-ethic like a badge of honor. He worked long hours - email responses over the weekends and past midnight were de rigueur. His expectations were only slightly higher than his stratospheric intelligence, and that coupled with a bedside manner of an IRS auditor minus the tender touch; in short, he cut an intimidating figure.

I worked hard to win his approval and obtained it most of the time.

And then one day, on a flight back to Oregon from Mumbai, I developed a condition that doctors never could detect the root cause of, but that led to my entire foot swelling up. Walking was uncomfortable and the pain unbearable.

I had sick time but did not want to use it; I was concerned about looking weak when my colleagues were working hard, starting with our manager. I called him to ask if I could work from home.

“No, get rest, take all the time you need. Health comes first. And, let me know if I can help with doctors’ visits, etc.” said the voice at the other end.

Upon recovery, when I headed back to work, he told me that my desire to work through my pain was an eye-opener for him. He had created a workaholic culture that valued work at the expense of welfare. He would go on to lead by example, and ensure a healthier and humane work-life balance.

Good leaders don’t just break ceilings, they also provide a soft landing for their team, because life happens to everyone. They are self-aware and reflective, which helps them serve their teams better.

Culture is king and queen

In one of my post-Intel adventures, I got my first taste of “bro culture.”

While the company had some of the most professional and smartest individuals I have ever worked with, there was also a very small clique of engineers who believed that behaving badly was evidence of alleged intelligence. Loudly interrupting others, rudeness where directness would have sufficed and being inaccessible rather than collaborative became their subculture.

An understaffed and hapless HR department meant this practice went largely uncorrected.

Once, during a lunchtime conference call, I was walking about a dozen people through a software design document when I misstated a key aspect of the code. Before I could correct myself, Ken (name changed) jumped in and snapped at me and rudely corrected me while the remains of a cow bounced up and down his palate.

The meeting was critical to finalize the release, so I let the matter go and proceeded nonchalantly. But my manager muted everyone and let it be known that Ken’s behavior was inappropriate. He would not let the call proceed unless Ken recognized that. Ken immediately apologized.

The lesson was obvious; you should stand up to bullies to show them how weak they really are, and when a leader does that, he/she inspires trust and improves the culture.

Yard by yard is hard, inch by inch is a cinch

Nike is a highly marketing-driven company. World-beating athletes allow the company’s vaunted PR machine to shape their brand. The in-your-face brashness in the company’s ads is not just an external veneer, but also defines the internal dealings between its employees.

As such, being loud, outspoken and opinionated goes further and deeper than thoughtful and reflective deliberations.

I led a team that built digital products that other teams within the company had to adopt; our success depended upon the company’s marquee digital products (like the soccer and retail apps, for example) adopting us.

I had imbibed the “image is everything” Kool-aid, and chased after the few biggest products to adopt our tools rather than going after several smaller products.

“We will get results, not wrinkles,” I told my manager. “You’re making perfect the enemy of progress,” he shot back.

In reality, the prestigious teams had many suitors and we were one of many vying for their attention. My boss advised that I get whatever adopters I could in round one, learn from those rollouts, get some points on the board and use that rolodex as a launch pad as we approached the bigger players.

Three months in, our tools had been adopted by several smaller teams, and they praised us publicly. Soon, we had hard numbers that evidenced our value and the bigger players took notice. We were able to approach them with an improved offering on more equal terms.

The lesson: good leaders offer the cooling breeze of pragmatism to the boiling waters of idealism and make change more palatable. They nurture talent without smothering it.

What will you do for me tomorrow?

One of the curses of working at a place full of smart colleagues is that imposter syndrome operates on steroids. Unknowingly and subconsciously, rather than letting your work speak for itself, you talk about it and over it.

I was pitching an idea to my org leader because their buy-in would give my roadmap credibility across the team. After breathlessly extolling my vision and the features of the tool, I paused and asked if my would-be champion had thoughts.

This person paused, and offered me advice that has served me well since and I have offered to others who have found it equally beneficial.

He suggested that I was so passionate about proving myself that my ideas and proposals seemed more an exercise in self-validation rather than an inclusive proposal to benefit the company. To the listener, my convictions and exhortations about how well I had planned for success came across more vocally than why that success would matter to anyone other than me.

My manager taught me to be secure enough in myself to give comfort to the listener rather than trying too hard to derive comfort from their approval. Wiser words have rarely been spoken.

Mediocre managers see leadership through a “loved or feared” false choice. They often end up neither feared, nor loved, inspire no loyalty and consequently leave no trace.  

Great leaders realize that leadership is as much about the examples of your power as it is about the power of your example.

What makes them great is that they create a culture where everyone around them reaches their maximum potential and is empowered to look beyond. These leaders are a bit like Johnny Appleseed; they plant seeds all over the organization: seeds of hope, effort, learning, humility and collaboration.

At some point, those seeds become orchards, even if the leader who planted those seeds is not around to enjoy either fruit or shade, because there is more soil to groom.