Four keys to respectful leadership

The young man sat quietly in his seat, well-medicated as always. He was puzzled. Although his mind had trouble connecting the clues, he knew something was different today. 

Normally he met Bob in a smaller room. There he would learn about himself: how his body worked, how to improve self-control, and how to be kinder to others.

Today was different. Instead of the small room, this place was much larger. And instead of being alone with Bob, there were lots of other people. And Bob did not have the normal smile on his face or twinkle in his eye. Instead, Bob was asleep. 

Although intellectual thoughts were slow for the young man, his emotional thoughts processed very quickly. The young man knew he was sad -- sad because today something was very different about Bob. And he could not figure it out.

Bob had not only been a special part in this young man’s life, Bob had also touched thousands of others. He knew their names and their challenges, and he worked so very hard to help them do better.

Certainly, he could have earned much more money if he had gone into private practice. Yet Bob chose to use his talent and skill with the neediest of people, people that had no hope other than Bob. 

But this would not have been Bob. Bob knew where he could do the most good. He needed to help special people with few resources. 

This is where Bob chose to be a leader. To help mentally and physically challenged individuals and their families at a time when hope seemed more distant than an undiscovered galaxy in a distant solar system. 

We will all miss Mr. Bob Thomas. His sense of humor. His patience. His commitment. His smile. However, we can never forget the impact Bob had on our lives. 

Bob Thomas was truly a leader. He inspired others to be better than they knew they could be. Not as a boss. Not as a demanding manager. Not as dominating authority figure.

He was leader because he was a friend. A friend to everyone. He understood leadership. He understood giving of himself for others when they needed him even though his own workload was tremendous. 

Yet as much of a friend as Bob was to those he counseled and to those he worked with, Bob knew how to command authority when the situation so dictated. 

Bob knew how to garner respect as a leader. He silently taught 4 keys to respectful leadership.

Bob never said, “Rick, here is a leadership lesson for you.” Yet I was able to cull some great aspects of leadership by observing his style. I call them the keys to “respectful leadership”.

Speak to people on their level. 

Bob knew the multi-syllable words of psychology and human behavior far better than the average person. However he was able to overcome the need to impress us with his knowledge. Instead he related in a way that made him very easy to understand and learn from.

Read situations for the appropriate action.

Bob understood when to be forceful and when to be quiet. His actions were seldom obtrusive or understated. 

Set aside personal problems.

Bob was fighting a difficult battle with cancer for many years. Aside from some time off for medical tests and the sickness caused by cancer treatment, his illness never interfered with Bob’s work when he was on the job. The problems of those he worked with were always more important than his own sickness.

Set aside personal gain.

Bob was able to fully focus on the needs of those he counseled and worked along side effectively because he never focused on his own career advanced. He did not have to ask himself how he should react to a situation in order to score political points or to position himself for the next position. He knew things of that nature had a way of working out in the normal course of business life if he simply focused on what was right.

This is an excerpt from “Life’s Leadership Lessons” a collection of 53 anecdotal leadership lessons, each with an anecdote and the application of the topic in your everyday life. It is designed for use in weekly staff meetings or for personal development.

About the author:

Rick Weaver has half a century’s experience in leadership development in retailing. He founded Max Impact Corporation, a leadership and business development consultancy company in 2002. His major accomplishments include working himself from stock clerk to director at a Fortune 50 retail chain and building a $40MM+ construction company in under 5 years. Today Max Impact offers staffing services as a franchisee of Patrice & Associates providing Executive Search, Management Recruiting, and Contract Staffing services.