THE FOUR AGREEMENTS & CLUB MANAGEMENT

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS & CLUB MANAGEMENT

PART ONE: BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

“Speak with integrity.?Say only what you mean. Avoid using words to speak against yourself or gossip about others.?Use the power of your word to offer love, never use it to cause fear or pain in another, or yourself”

Your word is what you are.?It’s your truth.?As a Club Manager, your word is heard by the staff, the members, your board, vendors, and so on.?Speaking with integrity is never the wrong approach.

This is a hard agreement.?You WILL fail.?But the only way to continue forward is to keep practicing and learn from your mistakes.?At past Clubs, I have struggled with this, because I was afraid.?Afraid of the truth, be it having a difficult conversation with my President, having a difficult conversation with a staff member that is struggling, a vendor that didn’t deliver on an order, and so on.?It’s always easier to deflect the blame on someone else, and not own the problem you are dealing with.?As the GM, you are supposed to own every issue, and as such you have to tell the truth and speak with integrity, even if it hurts you in the short term.?

There is always gossip at a Club; I call Club’s “Sewing Circles” because if you say one thing to one person, the whole club knows in less than 24 hours.?I am guilty of this as well, we all are. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in talking about a member and their crazy order in the grill room, or another employee and what they said yesterday, as so on.?I struggle with this and have failed, but I will continue to try.?I’ll continue to try to only use my word in a positive light.

At a previous Club, we were struggling financially.?I felt it my responsibly to take every function and every event I could to keep the club afloat, because we did not have enough members.?But with a small staff, and no other management help, I took on too much, and got burnt out.?I was not truthful with myself.?It hurt me and it hurt my family.?I was not truthful with myself in the moment.?I failed.?But I have learned from my mistakes.?I am much more cautious with my time now.?If I feel burn out coming, I stop and am truthful with myself and say “no, you have to fix this”.???When I took the job at my current Club, I was sure to let them know that these types of situations would not happen again in my career, and it would not be how I would manage this Club.?I was truthful with myself, and truthful with the hiring committee.?They have bought in to my approach and I’m grateful for that.?I’m proud of that progress, but there is still a long way to go.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS & CLUB MANAGEMENT

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PART TWO: DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

“Nothing others do is because of you.?What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.?When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be a victim of needless suffering.”

This is a HUGE agreement for me.?I take everything personally.?I am working very hard to let that go. ?The statement above is spot on, and as I am working through letting go of the negativity and the toxicity, I have seen a shift almost immediately.

As Club Managers and Club leaders, we are responsible for other people, the Club itself, the staff, and the Members.?It is not uncommon to take things personally.?There is an ownership we all have with the job, and in most cases, we are very proud of what we do, and if someone says something negative about the Club, we take that in and hold onto it.

One thing I have encountered at most of the places I have been is “victim mindset”.?This is someone that lives in the negative. When you ask how they are doing, it’s never good.?When you ask how the Club event was last week, it’s never good.?When ask how their round of golf was, it’s never good.?Unfortunately for Club Leaders, we must deal with a lot of people coming from different places and worlds, so we will always encounter victim mindset.?I know this because I was one of them for a long time.?Whenever I got busy or overwhelmed at work, too many events or budget season, I let it get to me.?I told everyone how stressed I was and how hard it was for me.??I brought it home to my family as well.?I wish I could go back and change that, but I can’t.?We can only move forward.?We can’t beat ourselves up.?We will fail, we will make mistakes, we will fall into victim mindset sometimes like I did.?Progress is recognizing it and stopping it when it creeps in.

All the Clubs I have been at I have struggled taking things personally.?It could be something as simple as constructive criticism from my President, a meal sent back to the kitchen, or a golf tournament that didn’t go as planned.?While its honorable to own these issues, it is NOT good for you to take it personally and hold onto the negativity.?Remember, at clubs, you have as many opinions as you do members, so what someone projects on you could simply be coming from them because they had a bad day or a bad round on the course.?I struggle with this EVERY DAY.?I hear all the chatter and need to let go of the negativity.?I regress some days, and some days I’m better.?Don’t beat yourself up; just learn from it and feel the negativity coming and stop it.?That’s what I am trying to do, and each day gets a little bit better.?I can say that as I have worked through this, I have a much better awareness around me of what’s happening.?I felt like I was in a “fog” before, and now I’m becoming more aware of when someone is projecting their negative reality onto me.?When that happens, I remove myself from the situation.?Work on this and you will see results right away.?I am never going back.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS & CLUB MANAGEMENT

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PART 3:?DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

“Find the courage to ask questions to express what you really want.?Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.?With just this one agreement, you can transform your life”

At Clubs, there are all different kinds of people.?Staff members come from far and wide to work at the club.?Members come from different places all over the globe.?Because of this, the way people communicate will differ from person to person.?The way you communicate with one staff member will be different than another.?The way you communicate with the members will differ between people.?What to focus on, no matter what, is to communicate in a positive, clear, concise way, always.?This agreement applies everywhere in your life, not just your Club.?

Avoiding drama is key.?I had a situation with two staff members that were not communicating well and were both not understanding each other.?This led to a confrontation in the dining room.?That can never happen, so I pulled them both aside and had them clearly state what was bothering each of them, and to get it out before they went back out to work.?Both employees are highly valued members of the staff, and it was simply a misunderstanding that led to drama.?They just assumed different things about each other.?Trying to avoid this at all costs in a must.

This applies at home, when you are out at a store, when you are at a restaurant, and so on.?I struggle all the time with clear communication.?It’s always been an issue.?I work through it the best I can, and try to be better the next time, be it with my wife, my children, staff at the Club, a member, or anyone else.?I work hard on being clear about what I want and hope to get a clear response in return.?I’ll fail sometimes, and that’s ok.?Remember, you cannot control how others act or respond to you, you can only control how YOU respond or react.?

My 9-year-old is the smartest person I know.?We had to take him for a flu shot, and he HATES shots.?So, we told him we were just going for a checkup.?We lied to him, a lie most parents use for something like this.?Well, when he found out it was a shot, he lost it, and rightfully so.?I knew I failed him in that moment.?However, afterwards, we had a clear conversation about how we wouldn’t lie to him going forward.?He wanted to prepare himself for the shot, that was all! I assumed he wouldn’t want to know, and I was wrong.?It’s amazing how much you can learn from a 9-year-old about clear communication.?I learned from him, and he made me better.?

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS & CLUB MANAGEMENT

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PART FOUR:?ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.?Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self judgement, self-abuse, and regret.”

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Always do your best.?A simple line but so complicated at the same time.?Most of us in Club Management are Type A perfectionists, which is what makes us perfect for hospitality.?However, this is also our worst enemy as well.?We beat ourselves up if things are not perfect and judge ourselves too harshly.?We need to give ourselves a break.

As it relates to Members and your Board, they will judge you as well.?Let them.?If you do your best, and do it consistently, you will be the best for you and for your Club.?

This is a real tough agreement for me.?I try to not beat myself up, but it happens, and happens often.?I’m trying to not judge myself.?It’s a process, but I’m working on it every day.?With my kids, with myself, with my board, and so on.?

What I am trying to do is learn to love the process; realizing that there are setbacks, but each day is a step in the right direction.?I’m learning how to not beat myself up and not judge myself if something doesn’t go as planned.?The process includes all four agreements and working through them: being impeccable with your word, not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and always doing my best.?It’s going to be a journey, and the process is part of that journey.?I’m excited to continue to grow.

My friend David Zauner, who passed away suddenly not long ago, was on his own journey.?He and I spoke right before he passed, and the conversation I replay in my head often.?He listened to my story, did not judge me, and gave me some great advice.?I cherish that last conversation and feel a pull every day to help finish what David started.?I will continue to move forward, not judge myself, and enjoy the process.