The Founders Aren't Alright

...and what we can do about it.

Today we find ourselves scrolling through yet another difficult social media day “World Suicide Prevention Day”. It got me thinking about how tough the last few years’ economic climate has been for founders and the amount of conversations I’ve had or updates that I’ve read, leaving me seriously worried about their state of mind and wellbeing.

Today there will be many individuals and corporations sharing updates,?and I’ve posted before about how difficult these different social media days can sometimes be for those of us reading disingenuous, shallow or frankly untrue statements to position an individual or corporation with a cause, without actually doing the leg work.

I haven’t posted about suicide before and I didn’t want to add to the noise today without contributing something I felt meaningful. I didn’t know about World International Suicide Prevention day/month until a few days ago. I immediately thought two things… 1/ here we go again this is going to be tough for friends and families of those who have died by suicide and simultaneously 2/ I knew what I want to say about this and what I want to do.

My motivation comes from the many conversations I have had with other founders in my network over recent years; as well as my own personal feelings and worries that I know aren’t unique to me.

Today I'd like to try to highlight common working practices that are seriously detrimental to founders (and sometimes even the viability of their companies), and what I believe corporations and powerful individual decision makers within these organisations can do to make a positive change.

Firstly let me say there isn’t a lot of data about suicide rates concerning business owners/founders. We are probably all aware of the tragic deaths of founders like Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Aaron Schwartz and Brandon Truaxe but not much research actually exists on Founders who die by suicide. The only study I have been able to find is from 2019: an analysis of 2008 labour market data from South Korea; specifically relating to those who identity as “self employed”. It concluded: “Although self-employed persons have greater autonomy, schedule flexibility, and control over their work than employees, they may be among the most vulnerable workers due to the lack of social benefits and protection from labor law and regulations.” This study interviewed 64,802 people of which approximately 2/3rds were employed and the remaining third identified as self employed. Of the self employed, 90% worked for small businesses. Ideating suicide was up to 320% higher amongst those identifying as “self-employed”. Attempting suicide amongst the self-employed working for small businesses was 670% higher.? While I readily admit this is just one study, it points to significantly higher suicide rates amongst self-employed people. My point here is that business owners, founders and freelancers are all technically “self-employed”, and I think this small study definitely justifies more research.

We know that increased suicide rates are strongly associated with times of economic hardship.? This leads me to my strong belief that founders are highly likely to be over represented amongst those who die by suicide; and even more so during times of economic hardship.

To explore this further I spoke to a number of founders and business owners I know; asking them what factors of running a business are the most detrimental to their mental health. I’m sure none of these answers are entirely unsurprising, but the power to change some of these factors actually lies across the client base these founders are working with. I share this post in the spirit that organisations make changes to their business practices to improve the mental health (and therefore potentially impact suicide rates) of the founders in their supply chains.

For me personally, the hardest things are:

1/ clients that don’t pay, or pay late and without any kind of communication. To me, it’s the ultimate expression of disrespect, and it has a chain of consequences for my suppliers, me and my dependent family.?

2/ ghosting. After spending hours of my time preparing and meeting with prospects often providing bespoke documents and plans, it is just awful to not even receive the courtesy of a reply. When this happens on aggregate across multiple parallel pitches it starts to feel personal; and that is a reality for many of us small business owners.?

3/ discrimination. Certain patterns of not closing work have often left me pondering whether discrimination or bias played a part. I once had a contract offer rescinded for divulging a pregnancy which was extremely difficult to cope with, and because of the amount of stress it caused I believe it was physically dangerous to me and my unborn child. To anyone reading this who is responsible for making purchasing decisions on behalf of organisations I can’t emphasise enough: supply chains should always be discrimination free.

It’s not just the things I have struggled with personally that led me to talk about this today, it’s the experiences of so, so many others that I know and chat with regularly.

The feedback I have gathered from other founders can be divided into two core themes:

Economic

“The peaks and troughs of running your own business and when the business comes in, the classic anxiety caused by feast or famine.”

“The pressure to perform, raise money, secure a customer combined with the dependency of others.”

“The success or failure of ventures being internalised as a reflection of your self-worth.”

“The one-sidedness of being at my client’s beck and call 24/7 and then they don’t pay me on time. It feels gross to have to ask four or five times for them to settle my invoice. It has really affected my mental health. I have decided to go back to employment.”

“My client never pays me on time and doesn’t apologise or seem to understand the impact it has on me. I worry all the time I will lose my nursery place. If I don’t pay my nursery on time the nursery could terminate the contract and the waiting list for nursery places is very long; which would push me out of the workforce.”

“Retailers enforce awful payment terms 60-90 days and then don’t even pay on time. It really takes its toll on the small business owner. At worst there are companies that declared bankruptcy causing havoc on many of its much smaller suppliers, then reincorporated and started trading again.”

Interpersonal

“Ghosting is terrible, upon request you send hundreds of pounds worth of stock to retailers and they don’t even respond.”

“Loneliness is a big challenge and it’s why I work in a co-working space. At the co-working space there are people I can talk to about my business who won’t tell me to shut up about my website like my family and friends!”

“The lack of friends who get it… my business is my life and I find myself losing common ground with old friends who just don’t understand… they aren’t interested in contract issues, employee issues and stock problems!”

“The loneliness of making tough decisions alone and nobody to share the wins with.”

“The pull between being a business owner and a mum…enormous responsibility of being everything to everyone all at once… both for my kids and for my clients.”

“Working from home is convenient but I’m much happier on client sites with other people.”

“If you work from home, as you don’t leave the office it can become impossible to switch off.”

In summary

Businesses with founders, the self-employed, freelancers and small businesses in their supply chain should urgently review how their working practices could be harmful to the mental health of these suppliers. For example poor payment and other badly balanced contract terms. Suppliers may be reassured by and benefit from publicly published supply chain codes of conduct that cover payment practices, procurement, respectful communications and discrimination policies.

Businesses can support the mental health of these individuals in their supply chains by offering somewhere to work and encouraging practices to ensure their suppliers use co-working spaces, perhaps incentivising with corporate discounts to co-working.

Families and friends should ask founders what types of support is most welcomed. Even if you don't understand your friend's business find a way of letting them know you care. As my friendships with other founders have developed over the years I have come to understand (and agree) that the worst question you can ask a business owner is: "how are things going in the business?" If a business owner isn't talking about their business its probably because they are going through bit of a hard time. They will no doubt share with you good news on their own. The question: "how are things going on in the business" is kind of like "how are you?" in that most people feel compelled to give a positive answer to placate the person who asked the question. Consider ways you can communicate authentically with the founders and business owners you know, without pressurising them to gloss things over.

Finally, if you are a founder, a freelancer or a small business owner struggling with any of these challenges please don’t keep these worries and anxieties to yourself. Start talking to others and you will learn how common some of these issues really are amongst the founder, small business and self-employed communities. Build or join a network: there are so many to garner support from. I particularly lean on others I have been lucky enough to meet via CxO LAB , Founders' Social and She Has No Limits ; in fact some of their members have provided the quotes you have read above. Please don’t suffer in silence.

Let’s look after each other, we can all do better ????

#worldsuicidepreventionday #mentalhealth #ghosting #founders

Image credit: my own of an epic Trust Fall in a field in Somerset a few years ago.