Forward and Upward

Merely letting time wear on towards New Year's Eve is not survival or accomplishment in my notion, even at the backdrop of a widely seen turbulent year.

Around a year ago, I pictured an eventful and fruitful year on the precipice of starting my master degree and a new chapter at University of Melbourne, having a fair share of magnificent cityscape on the Summit of the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

I don't see stock-taking the wins and lessons during the COVID-19 pandemic a new cliche. My most fateful 2020 event however just didn't chance to be interwoven with the pandemic - Provided the highest GPA in Class of 2019 in the exact same faculty where I am furthering my study in construction management, I was not considered for any merit-based scholarships funding my masters.

How did this incident propel me forward and upward?

Other than once making me feel discounted and deluded, from a growth perspective it simply unraveled how unprepared I'd been. In view of my emotional dispositions imminently after the incident, I had evidently operated under a frequency of lack for long. So long that I prided myself in being a filial daughter, a conscientious student, a self-driven junior quantity surveyor, a resourceful student leader ......but may have just left myself flat and unattended, a tad often!

This propelled me into introspection, 'closing off the curtains to the outside world' in an attempt to realign my self-image and constructs, piecing them together to mold the powerhouse to fuel myself.

Introspecting is an exercise I've been enlightened on since being mentored by Elinor Moshe, a thought leader who founded The Construction Coach. Acknowledging it ought to be a perpetuating and iterative process, I'd just share my latest outlook.

Who am I and where have I been this year?

Earlier I gratefully ended my 1.5-year tenure as the 2019/2020 President of Construction Students Association (CSA) - University of Melbourne, further to being the Undergraduate Representative. Half the span of my bachelor's and master's degree in aggregate, the 2.5 years were so fulfilling that I would proudly introduce myself as a core member of this student club in a personal and professional capacity.

I had so let this role become integral to my self-image and worth that shortly after stepping down, an identity crisis stroke on, moderately. I was at loss about how to introduce myself who's no longer the acting CSA President. That said, I soon managed to stop backsliding into the immediate past by revisiting my mentor's discourse, 'a (job) title is not equal to a career.....' By the same token, piloting the 'Internet of Things' (IoT) in Built Environments Case Competition in tandem with student clubs, my faculty and industry partners vastly aided my mindset conditioning.

I incepted this event last year to enrich my peers' student experience with greater exposure to the transformative digital technology and industry best practice. Dr.Ajibade.Aibinu has continuously and unrequitedly supported this initiative, with whom we have expanded and maintained the internal and external alliances.

The outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic pivoted our initial plans and forced us to reinvent the event, prevailing over various restrictions. Navigating and venturing in the unchartered water whilst keeping the rhythm of our daily routine in the precedented climate was imaginably no easy feat for everyone involved.

'Trust in the process.'

Until this construct surfaced in Elinor Moshe's mentoring, I was yet to conceive anything else better to encapsulate what I overtime deciphered the entire competition project team share as commonalities.

Below is an extract of my earlier post adapted from Elinor's relevant discourse in her 'Constructing You' podcast:

"As a by and large structured and logic-based process, construction is also characterized by the unknown unknown. Some challenges do not surface until the project team's already in the process after a call has been made to get the ball rolling based on thoughtful planning and risk analysis. Neither does the reward gained from overcoming them with the wits and grits of a dynamic team. Trusting the process can be a tough decision at the onset but can lead to success. "

The competition is not a set tradition and rather, a wild dream of mine initially, which has now become everybody else's as I can proudly and affirmatively tell. Most of us do not have a specific coveted role or title in the organizing committee but this does not hinge us against working together cohesively. We have also recruited groups of myriad-minded student participants demonstrating aligned values and drives and so far supported them through the preliminary design. There is something more spectacular in sight further to the 'Best Joint Event of the Year - 2nd Place Award' in our university, through thick and thin!

So how would I introduce myself as part of this initiative now? I would relay what I do, why, with whom and through what sort of PROCESS, not just a Co-founder in paper.

Wherever I forge, I will trust harder in the process as it proved useful in retrospect

In my quantity surveying practice this year, I have grown more capable of thinking on my feet and strived to take greater ownership of my inputs, be it the entire project, a work package or simply an item. It fruited in satisfactory cost planning results across a spread of domestic sectors in a market conditioned in the pandemic climate. I appreciate my Director and other colleagues for trusting the process by trusting me from the onset, thereby stimulating me to grow more adept and proactive to ask questions and learn.

I couldn't have survived the lockdown but for my room and soul mate - piano. I've been very prolific and wired to integrate my feelings into what I am practicing at a certain moment. This then often translates into themed video captions. I once reckoned practicing would just be a means to vent my emotions. Now I believe the process of practicing is in turn thought-provoking and mind-stimulating, for it is essentially a wordless conversation between me and my soul mate. It will reward and take me somewhere.

I've become more driven to take a stab at the intricate ones I'd be deterred from such as the études by Frédéric Chopin and willingly share my far from perfect work-in-progress publicly. Reinforcing my takeaways from mentoring, I just take pride and joy in the learning and sharing process. (It'd be my pleasure to share my music with you here )

Now circling to the article's title, have I traversed forward and upward in 2020? I'd say yes overall, meanwhile owing up to backsliding, stagnating and faltering occasionally. I'd appreciate the spike in such moments in the last half of the year coinciding with the scholarship incident as tended to wear me down. I've been lucky to have a mentor like Elinor and other inspirations like my lecturers, colleagues and classmates that help me grow the mental muscles to weather any climate.

Revved up for 2021!