Fortress of Solitude: Policing and Social Isolation

Invisible Lines Drawn

2024 is setting out to be a big year for me. Having my birthday at the beginning of February means that each year always seems to start off on a high. But this year was particularly special for me because I celebrated both my birthday and retirement. I left policing in December, making 2024 my first one as a civilian.

We threw a big party and I invited friends from across all different areas of my life: school friends, military friends, old work friends, soccer friends, volleyball friends, friends of friends who’ve become my friends, and, of course, police friends.

For the most part, each arrived alongside their like but as the night went on, they divided, dispersed, and mingled as you would expect to happen at a party. Of course, you’re likely to find a few introverts at any party who’ve, somehow or another, worked up the energy for a night out. What caught my attention though was that the friends who seemed to keep to themselves most were the cops. Then it hit me: this was a very real example of the social isolation inherent in policing.

The Nature of Policing

Policing is simply unique compared to most jobs. Cops are exposed, daily, to a different side of life far removed from the average person’s experience. The uniqueness of the job (the trauma and human suffering, the social dysfunction, the criminality, and the excitement!), coupled with the status of being a police officer (the revealing of which, outside of work hours, is a cop’s worst nightmare!) helps to produce a clear divide between the world of a police officer and the world of your average person.

Shift work and the police officer’s status only complicate things. The rotating shifts—the nights, weekends, and holidays spent at work mean that, at its core, cops live in a whole other time zone. I rarely knew what day of the week it was. All that mattered what what day (1,2,3…) out of my 7-day work week it was. And let’s not forget the drain to energy levels caused by a permanently changing sleep schedule. The 24/7 nature of being a police officer also means you can never let down your guard. It imposes a vigilance that infiltrates the off-duty hours of a cop’s life and places restrictions on whom they can and can’t socialize with. Dr. Kevin Gilmartin, author of Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement, talks about this in terms of hypervigilance. He explains that being on high alert while at work leads to a subsequent crash at home, but it’s more than that. It’s also having to be constantly mindful of the company you keep, and knowing when to make your exit before a situation turns… complicated.

Perception Matters

Public attitudes are another factor to consider, including how the media (both news and social) portrays the police. Many (if not most) people will never have the (mis)fortune of interacting with the police outside of, maybe, a traffic stop. When lacking direct experience of something, we often turn to others to form our opinions. Perceptions are largely shaped by word of mouth, and these perceptions influence the lens through which people view the police, contributing to stigma and misunderstanding of individual officers.

Finally, the harsh realities of policing produce natural coping strategies that may come across as off-putting to the general public. Dark humour, a common relief valve for cops, can alienate family and friends making it difficult for officers to share their experiences openly with anyone other than other cops. This, combined with an occupational culture that breeds in-group solidarity (i.e., The Blue Line) contributes to a tight-knit community that can deepen the divide between the police and the public.

Breaking Down Barriers

Sometimes social isolation isn’t a by-product of an introverted personality and is instead a consequence of a person’s profession and experience. Dr. Gilmartin emphasizes the importance of police officers recognizing this pattern and actively working against it by maintaining healthy social connections and being socially active outside of work. I’m fortunate in that I came to learn about social isolation early on in my career and followed this advice, even expanding my social circle over the years. And for those friends, I’m grateful.