Former gifted children often grow up to be full of self doubt, anxiety and self criticism; I did.

By Jo Knight Dutkewich: THE Introverts Leadership Coach.

Recently I have had two different conversations with clients about the struggles related to being a former gifted child. Both are magnificent adults. One is a literal genius -a diagnosed savant (I've thrown dates at her from 47 years ago and she never fails to identify the day of the week). The other is a vivacious working author and publishing house Goddess . Whilst my own vocation as a Leadership Coach for Ambitious Introverts pales in comparison, I too, (and I say this with one part pride and two parts distain) was once a gifted child. I passed the entrance exams to special schools, held regional academic records (never in spelling), was permitted to work in the Headmistresses office, was House Captain (think Dumbledore), held First Clarinet and First Alto Saxophone in the orchestra and was leader of the Gnomes in the Brownies. I was also anxious, lonely, full of self loathing, shy and socially awkward AF; a shocking and hard to fathom revelation if ever there was one..

The problem with peaking at twelve is that it's a long and difficult road to adulthood. The label of "gifted" often serves as both a beacon of praise and a catalyst for profound challenges. As our bright young minds journey into adulthood, we carry with us a unique set of experiences that shape our perception of self and the world around us. However, what many fail to recognize is the shadow cast by self-doubt, which looms large over the lives of former gifted children the majority of which are powered by introversion energy.

Former gifted children, as adults, frequently find ourselves grappling with a pervasive sense of doubt and uncertainty. This self-doubt, rooted in the pressures of perfectionism, the burden of expectation, and the weight of past achievements, can manifest in various aspects of our lives. Despite our intellectual prowess, many of us struggle to navigate the complexities of adulthood, plagued by feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome. Even when we are verifiably succeeding we carry a profound sense of scarcity and inadequacy about our accomplishments and "enoughness."

But why is self-doubt such a prevalent companion for former gifted children? The answer lies in the very nature of our upbringing and experiences. From a young age, we are often thrust into environments that prioritize achievement and excellence. While our intellect may set us apart, it also fosters a relentless pursuit of perfection and an insatiable desire for validation.

Moreover, the transition from childhood to adulthood brings its own set of challenges. Former gifted children may find ourselves grappling with the expectations of others, struggling to reconcile our past accomplishments with the realities of adulthood. In a world that values conformity over creativity, we feel like square pegs forced into round holes, perpetually striving to fit into a mold that was never meant for them. And don't get me started on being an introvert in a world that runs on social currency!

So, what can be done to address the pervasive self-doubt experienced by former gifted children? The key lies in fostering self-awareness, embracing vulnerability, and cultivating resilience. By acknowledging the impact of our upbringing and experiences, we can begin to unravel the layers of self-doubt that shroud our sense of self.

Self-awareness serves as a powerful tool for former gifted children to understand the roots of our self-doubt and the ways in which it manifests in our lives. Through introspection and reflection, we can identify patterns of thought and behavior that contribute to our feelings of inadequacy. By shining a light on our innermost fears and insecurities, we can begin to dismantle the walls of self-doubt that have long confined us.

Embracing vulnerability is another essential step in the journey towards overcoming self-doubt. Former gifted children must learn to embrace our imperfections and embrace vulnerability as a source of strength rather than weakness. By allowing ourselves to be seen and heard, we can cultivate authentic connections with others and forge meaningful relationships built on trust, empathy and self compassion.

Resilience serves as the cornerstone of overcoming self-doubt and forging a path towards self-empowerment. Former gifted children must cultivate resilience in the face of adversity, embracing setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to success. By adopting a growth mindset and reframing our challenges as learning experiences, we can emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.

The journey of former gifted children is fraught with challenges, chief among them the pervasive presence of self-doubt. However, by fostering self-awareness, embracing vulnerability, and cultivating resilience, we can begin to unravel the layers of self-doubt that have long obscured our sense of self and get back to who we really were before the world got in the way.

Jo Knight Dutkewich is a former corporate senior leader and consultant to some of the worlds best brands. She helps Ambitious Leaders and Entrepreneurs to stop self doubt and overthinking to take action on their biggest, juiciest goals. She runs quarterly cohorts of The Ambitious Introvert a 12 week group coaching program. She lives on Vancouver Island in Pacific Northwest with her husband, 3 sons and animal menagerie.