Forgiving Yourself

When we talk about forgiveness, we usually think about forgiving others but in many situations, we are angry at ourselves also. It's important that we take the time to heal and forgive ourselves.

Why forgiving yourself is so important

It gives you the permission to heal and grow from an experience even a very painful one.

It is not about excusing your behavior but instead we are taking responsibility for our actions (or lack of), face our fears and be vulnerable.

It allows you to grow and learn from your mistakes and realize we will make more mistakes, it's part of being human.

Steps to forgiving yourself

1. Feel to Heal - we need to process our emotions. To do this, we need to be aware and acknowledge what we are feeling. Don't judge, just feel.

2. Acknowledge your mistake - we all make mistakes, it's part of the human experience. For many of us, we try to internalize, embarrassed or ashamed by our mistakes and failures. This just makes us feel worse. Instead say your mistakes out loud, tell a friend, a professional, write it out, etc. Don't internalize it or punish yourself for it.

3. Use your mistakes - each mistake/failure is a teachable moment. We get a lesson from each mistake.

What is the lesson??

What can we take out of this experience to help us not make the same mistake twice?

4. Are you ready to move forward? Sometimes we are not ready to forgive others or ourselves. We still need time to process the situation and heal from it. That's fine, don't judge where you are. There is no right or wrong. Take the time you need without judgment.?

5. The inner critic - your inner dialogue will rear its ugly head. Talk back to it. Is your inner dialogue based on truth or fact? Is it your automatic belief system of "I'm not worthy or enough" coming to the surface? Are you showing yourself self-compassion? kindness?

?If your friend made the same mistake, would you be critical and harsh towards him/her??

6. What do you want? When you make a mistake, you must figure out what you want to do? Do you want a relationship with the person you hurt? Do you want to apologize? Do you want to fix the problem or just apologize and walk away from the relationship??Most people feel better after they admit and apologize for their mistake even if they don't want to have a relationship anymore.?