Forgiveness
Unforgiveness: Jesus Himself discusses the seriousness of failing to forgive. He tells us that failure to forgive those who hurt us will result in our not being forgiven ourselves by God. “Forgive us our trespasses (sins) as we forgive those who trespass (sin) against us”. The Our Father, the Lords Prayer, which most all of us know and pray, Jesus teaches us that God will be as forgiving to us as we are to others.
Indeed, how can we expect God to forgive us when we do not forgive our brothers? Consider the follow teachings from Holy Scripture:
If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14,15).
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too (Mark 11:25).
If you forgive others, you will be forgiven. (Luke 6:37b)
Forgiveness is not about emotions and feelings. You can still be hurting, angry and upset and still decide to forgive. Forgiveness involves a mental decision, a decision of will, an act of your free will, even though you may not “Feel it”.
In our Deliverance Counseling, we teach clients about the true nature of forgiveness:
1.Forgiveness is not forgetting: People who try to forget find that cannot. It is an unfortunate quirk of the English language with the phrase, “Forgive and forget”. In actuality this phrase does not mean to “forget” in the sense of not remembering what happened; of course we will remember. God says He will “remember our sins no more” (Heb. 10: 17), but God, being omniscient, obviously cannot literally forget. “Remember no more” means that God will never use the past against us (Ps. 103:12).
To forget is really “to let go”. We need to “let go and let God”. We let go of the past, but more importantly we let go of the hurt. As long as we do not forgive, as long as we do not let go, we allow the offender of our wounds continue to hurt us.
2.Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling: Since God requires us to forgive, it is something we can do. God will NEVER ask us to do something that is impossible for us to do; that would be cruel and God is a loving God.
Forgiveness, however, is difficult for us because it pulls against our feelings and emotional hurts. Forgiveness is not about forgetting our feelings or our emotional hurts. We often will not “feel” like forgiving, but we must forgive anyway. As the Lord Prayer teaches us, God forgives us “as we forgive others”. But how can God require this of us when we have been hurt so badly?
God does not expect your feelings and emotional hurts to be healed overnight. He knows and understands our feelings and our hurts. He is a compassionate God and will help us to heal over time, as we are able. What God expects of us is not an immediate emotional healing, but a decision of will to forgive, a decision of will to trust Him to take care of the offender and to heal us, a decision of will to ask God for, and to commit to, being healed of our wounds.
3.Forgiveness is not letting the person off the hook: Forgiving is about you letting go, but it is not letting the offender off the hook. He will still pay for what he did, either before the Law or before God or both.
Forgiving is surely difficult for us because it pulls against our concept of justice. We want revenge for offenses suffered. But we are told never to take our own revenge (Rom. 12:9). Revenge does more damage to us than it punishes the offender. God’s justice will prevail, no one can escape it. Never fear, those who hurt us will be held accountable, but we must let God deal with it. In order for God to deal with it, we need to let Him deal with it by letting go.
“Why should I let them off the hook?” But doing that is precisely the problem — we are still hooked to them, still bound by our past when we do not forgive.
To forgive does not mean letting the person off the hook; it means letting yourself off the hook.
4.But you don't understand how much this person hurt me: The problem is that when we do not forgive we, in essence, allow the person to still hurt us! The question is, “How do we stop the pain?” The answer is to forgive!
It is important to understand that we do not forgive someone for their sake; we do it for our sake so we can be free. Our need to forgive is not an issue between the offender and us; it is between us and God.
5.Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another’s sin: Forgiveness is costly. We pay the price of the evil we forgive. We are going to live with those consequences whether we want to or not; our only choice is whether or not we will do so in the slavery of bitterness and unforgiveness or with the freedom of forgiveness.
Jesus took the consequences of our sin upon Himself. All true forgiveness is substitutionary because no one really forgives without bearing the consequences of the other person's sin. God the Father “made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Cor. 5:2 1).
Where is the justice? we might ask. It is the Cross that makes forgiveness legally and morally right: “For the death that He died, He died to sin, once for all” (Rom. 6: 10). This doesn't mean that we tolerate sin. We must always stand against sin, but we must give the offender to God and get on with our life.
6.How do we forgive from our heart? First we acknowledge the hurt and the hate. If our forgiveness does not visit the emotional core of our life, it will be incomplete. Many feel the pain of interpersonal offenses, but they will not acknowledge it. Let God bring the pain to the surface so He can deal with it. This is where the healing takes place.
Do not wait to forgive until we feel like forgiving; we will never get there. Feelings take time to heal mostly after the choice to forgive is made and Satan has lost his place (Eph. 4:26, 27). Freedom is what will be gained, not a feeling.
7.Summary of Points on Forgiveness:
· Forgiveness is necessary to have fellowship with God.
· It is not forgetting.
· It is a choice.
· Letting the offender off our hook is what frees us.
· The offender is not off God's hook.
· God says, “Revenge is mine.”
· You must acknowledge the hurt and the hate.
· Forgiveness means we are agreeing to live with the consequences of another's sin — which we have to do anyway.
· The justice is in the cross.
· Choice is between the slavery of bitterness or the freedom of forgiveness.
· Forgiveness means not using the past against the offender.
· Forgiveness does not mean tolerating the sin or abuse.
· Why forgive? To stop the pain! As we live in unforgiveness the offender still hurts us!
· The issue of forgiveness is between you and God only.
· The act of forgiveness is for the your sake, and for your freedom.
Think about the people in your life for whom you need to forgive, people to whom you hold bitterness, people who have hurt you or disappointed you in any way, or for whom you hold any kind of grudge. Be sure to ALWAYS include your parents, siblings, spouse, and YOURSELF. There is always something to forgive in our families and in ourselves.
Record on a sheet of paper all the names of people who have hurt you in some way, those you need to forgive and those you have already forgiven, going all the way back to childhood. Include them all. With the names also write a brief note (one-liner) as to what that person did to you. If you do not remember names, list them by what you do remember, such as “the guy in sixth grade with the red hat who stole my lunchbox”. If you cannot remember exactly what the person did that is okay; forgive them for whatever it was — God knows.
After preparing this list ask God to bring to your mind anyone you have forgotten. It is not unusual to forget, or to push aside from our conscious mind, incidents and even the names of people whom have hurt us. These hidden hurts and wounds need to be healed as well. Thus, ask God to bring to your mind any person you have forgotten for whom you need to forgive, for whom you hold a grudge against, for whom you are bitter, for those who have hurt you, even if you have already forgiven them, with the following prayer:
Father in heaven, please bring to my mind the names of any people for whom I have not forgiven, whom I have held bitterness toward or grudges against, or whom have hurt me in any way, even if I have already forgiven them. Help me to remember all these hurts so that they may be offered to You, O Lord, and healed from my soul so that I may live the truly victorious Christ-life. Amen.
Add to your list the names of anyone God may bring to your mind.
Now it is time to Pray...
The following prayer needs to be said for each person on the list. Do not go to the next person on the list until you are sure you have dealt with all the remembered pain.
As you pray, God may bring to your mind various offending people and experiences that has been totally forgotten. Allow God to do this even if it is painful. Remember this process of forgiveness is for your sake because God wants you to be free.
Remember also that by forgiving the offender we are not rationalizing or trying to explain the offender's behavior. Forgiveness deals with the victim's pain, your pain, not another's excuses. Positive feelings will follow in time; freeing you from the past is the critical issue now.
If you are willing to forgive for your sake, so that you can walk away from this web-page free in Christ, free from the past and from person who hurt you, pray the introductory prayer below and then pray the “Prayer to Forgive” for each person on your list:
Heavenly Father, I now ask for your help in forgiving all those people on my list. Although I may be still hurt and angry with them, I know that they are your children and that you love them more than I can possibly know. For this reason, my God, I ask you to help me to truly forgive them. I lay down all bitterness, resentment, and hatred for these people and I freely choose to forgive them. Teach me to be more merciful, my God, and help me be always willing, just as you are always willing, to forgive those who sin against me. Amen.”
Prayer to Forgive
Lord, I forgive ___________________________ for (specifically identify all offenses and painful memories ) .
May God heal you and bless you!
Step 6 — Personal Deliverance
When dealing with spiritual afflictions some special prayer considerations may be needed. Scripture states that there are certain demons that will only respond to prayer as well as fasting: “But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.” (Matthew 17:21). If fasting can defeat even the strongest of fallen angels, just how powerful is this sacrifice that we can make?
See the Prayer Page for a link to a Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog and examples of spiritual warfare prayers. These spiritual warfare prayers are very effective in defeating the enemy and drawing our hearts closer to God.
Do not neglect the intercessions and help from our brothers and sisters who have gone on before us — the Saints. We have prepared a List of Patron Saints for Those with Spiritual Afflictions.
When you are ready, and only when you have completed the first five steps you may pray the following Personal Deliverance Prayer. This prayer may be said as often as needed:
Step 7 — Live the Faith and Remain Faithful
Along with all the advice and recommendations of the first six steps, our healing and deliverance cannot be complete unless we act upon our our faith. Doing good works and charitable acts of love are a natural outflow of our faith and necessary to lead a good Christian life. It is not enough to believe. St James asks and admonishes in James 2:19,20, 26:
Do you still think it's enough just to believe that there is one God? Well, even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror! Fool! When will you ever learn that faith that does not result in good deeds is useless?
Just as the body is dead without a spirit, so also faith is dead without good deeds.
St. James calls a man a fool who does not act upon his faith in James 1:22-25:
Be doers of the word and not hearers only, deluding yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his own face in a mirror. He sees himself, then goes off and promptly forgets what he looks like. But the one who peers into the prefect law of freedom and perseveres, and is not a hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, such a one shall be blessed in what he does.
It is hard to live the Christ-Life, but we must try. We must not have a faith that is dead and useless. We must not be a fool and not practice our faith. We must, rather, live out our faith and persevere in the faith:
1 Corinthians 9:23-27
All this I do for the sake of the gospel, so that I too may have a share in it. Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win. Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one. Thus I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing. No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified.
Colossians 1:17-23
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things he himself might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile all things for him, making peace by the blood of his cross (through him), whether those on earth or those in heaven.
And you who once were alienated and hostile in mind because of evil deeds he has now reconciled in his fleshly body through his death, to present you holy, without blemish, and irreproachable before him, provided that you persevere in the faith, firmly grounded, stable, and not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been preached to every creature under heaven, of which I, Paul, am a minister.
And thus let us be able to say, with St. Paul, in 2 Timothy 4:6-8
For I am already on the point of being sacrificed; the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his a appearing.
Please pray that you do not end up with the “faith” of demons — dead and without good works. But rather act upon your faith by following the example of Christ. Persevere in the faith and let your life be a living Gospel for you shall thereby “know the truth and the truth shall set you free”
Worship as a Church Family: One of Satan's favorite lies, apart from having us believe that he does not exist, or that he does exist and is more powerful than he truly is, is that since God is everywhere and we can worship Him anywhere and do not need the “community of believers“, the Church family.
Although it is true that God is everywhere and worshiping Him anywhere is wholesome and good, it is false to believe that the Church, is unnecessary. Since the earliest days of Christianity, communities of believers gathered together on the Lord's Day (Sunday) to celebrate the Mass and to receive our Lord in the Eucharist.
Scripture is very clear on the subject of Church attendance and on how our submission to it's authority is not only good but required. The Church, it's leaders and members, are the Mystical Body of Christ here on Earth. To disobey the teachings of the Church as it relates to faith and morals is to disobey the teachings of Christ. To not attend church is also disobedience to Christ.
St. Paul admonishes those who do not come to Church in Hebrews 10:19-25:
Therefore, brothers, since through the blood of Jesus we have confidence of entrance into the sanctuary by the new and living way he opened for us through the veil, that is, his flesh, and since we have “a great priest over the house of God,” let us approach with a sincere heart and in absolute trust, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water. Let us hold unwaveringly to our confession that gives us hope, for he who made the promise is trustworthy. We must consider how to rouse one another to love and good works. We should not stay away from our assembly, as is the custom of some, but encourage one another, and this all the more as you see the day drawing near.
Jesus Himself tells us in John 6:54-56, among other passages, that we must come to the Sacrament in order to have eternal life. We receive the Sacrament through the Church:
Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.
The Church, in obedience to Christ and the Apostles, requires us to assist at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass each Sunday and on other Holy Days of Obligation. The Bible is clear that we are to obey not only Christ, but also His Church:
Hebrews 13:17
Obey your leaders and submit to them; for they are keeping watch over your souls, as men who will have to give account. Let them do this joyfully, and not sadly, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Worship and Prayer as a Domestic Family: It is also important to worship and pray as a family unit. In addition to assisting at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass as a family unit, the family should be going to adore the Blessed Sacrament together, praying the Divine Office or the Rosary together, praying devotions to patron saints of the family and family members, and devotional fasting. Blessings before meals only begins the need for the family praying and performing devotions at home. Worship and prayer together as a family, both in the parish setting, prayer meetings, adoration, and other corporate settings, and in the privacy of the family at home is critical in developing spiritual health for the family and each family member. Such family devotion forms the foundation for all that each family does away from home in the world of school, work, and society.
Prayer is so important both in the family context and individually. It is important not just because prayer is something a Christian ought to do, but because prayer is communication.
Communication with our Creator engenders a deeper love and dependence on Him. The more we depend on God, the closer He is to us and we are to Him. Aligning ourselves with God, communicating with Him at all times and in all situations and personal decisions will unite our hearts to His. A heart united to the Creator will overflow with graces and blessings.
Prayer and Spiritual Warfare: In addition, a healthy prayer life destroys strongholds that demons may have in our lives and in our hearts. Without prayer we cannot hope to be delivered from spiritual afflictions. It is no secret —prayer, worship, devotion, and living the Christ-Life in all that it entails is the formula not only for deliverance from spiritual afflictions, but for living the victorious life in Christ.
Do not neglect the use of Spiritual Warfare prayers when needed nor the intercessions of the saints in order to maintain your freedom and to ward off spiritual attacks as you live your life for Christ.
Official Advice from the Church
We have outlined seven steps detailing certain issues that we have found important in gaining freedom for a person in spiritual affliction. These seven steps can be distilled down into five “one-liners”.
Borrowing from the Church's Ritual we find five remedies suggested to the spiritually afflicted that are useful and wise for anyone at any level of spiritual affliction. This five-point advice is also efficacious for all of us in dealing with temptation and trying to live the Christ-life:
1. Do penance and purify one's conscience by a good confession;
2. Receive Holy Communion as often as possible;
3. Implore the mercy of God by prayer and fasting.
4. With a great spirit of faith, make use of the sacramentals, especially recourse to the invocation of the holy name of Jesus, and as St. Teresa of Avila suggests, that of the sign of the Cross and holy water; and
5. Recourse to specific spiritual warfare prayers applicable to the situation.
Final Thoughts
Repentance, forgiveness, acting on our faith, praying, fasting, receiving the Sacrament frequently, and all the rest we ought to do as good Christians are very good things and very necessary for this life, but more importantly for the life to come.
The advice contained in these Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance, however, are not “quick fixes”. This advice involves a lifelong commitment for anyone with spiritual afflictions. Freeing yourself from the bondages of the enemy and keeping them from returning requires this commitment to persevere in Christ and in the Christ-life.
There will be dry times. Your faith will be tested. Indeed, the demons may (and more than likely will) try to return. Scripture speaks of what demons do once they are cast out:
Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came’; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. (Matthew 12, 43-45).
Do not leave your house (heart) “unoccupied, swept and put in order”; rather be filled with the Holy Spirit.
We can never let down our guard. As a final instruction, remember the teaching of St. Paul in Ephesians 6:10-18. We do not go about our day without putting on our clothes. Do not go into the world with the spiritual cloths of God's armor:
Finally, draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power. Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil. For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens. Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground. So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate, and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace. In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all (the) flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With all prayer and supplication, pray at every opportunity in the Spirit. To that end, be watchful with all perseverance and supplication for all the holy ones.
Lord Jesus
I believe you died on the Cross for my sins and rose again from the dead. I now renounce and confess all sins that I remember and know about. And any that I don’t know about. Lord Jesus I repent of all sins I have ever committed. I hate them and I sever myself from them through the Blood of Jesus.
he that is in the world. They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them. We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world.
Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us. If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. 1 john 4
And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.” (Rev. 22:18–19.)
King James was the richest man of his times the equivalent to Bill Gates today when the Scriptures where found in 1604 he paid to have them translated. He also paid to have people look for more. If any scriptures are found no matter how authentic and real they may appear I can assure you they are works of the devil.
And remember “To err is human; to forgive, divine.”