Forgiveness
Dean Waggenspack
Author | Resume Writer| Make Moments Matter | Doable Change | TedxDayton2019 Speaker
It is hard to forgive someone for a wrong they did to you, those you love, or a cause you care about deeply. When we are wronged, or feel like someone is "for" something that we inherently disagree with, it is hard not to dislike them.
In her book, Seventy Times Seven: A True Story of Murder and Mercy, the author Alex Mar tells the story of a horrible murder. One of the most compelling parts of the story is the son of the woman who was murdered came to the decision to forgive the murderer. In fact, he befriends her. It is so hard to grasp why he would do that. He has his reasons.
The question for us is, if that son can reconcile with someone who did something so bad, might we all do so with lesser offenses?
In the 11th episode of the third season of Ted Lasso, there is a very enlightening and moving moment involving my favorite charter, Coach Beard. In this scene, we learn a great deal of Coach Beard's backstory. We come to see a vulnerable dimension to him. It is a powerful and moving part of the story.
Beards tells one of the other characters, Nate, the following:
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"After school, we (Ted and Coach Beard) went our separate ways. And he was dating Michelle, got into coaching. And I got into prison. When I got paroled, I had no money; family did not want me. I had nowhere to go. So I looked up Ted. He took me in, fed me. Let me crash on his couch.
I know this is a fictional story. But the message is powerful. If Ted can forgive Coach Beard, who might we be able to forgive?
I had some bosses in my career who were not great at their work. There are people I know who I believe are intelligent yet they have done things I don't agree with. Those who willingly spread falsehoods and conspiracy theories aggravate me. None of us are nice all the time (except Rose). For my own health, and to be a better person, I am working on forgiving and forgetting.
Who is someone (or some organization) you might consider forgiving? Where do you harbor anger and spite, that only minimizes you? Might moving on, like the son in the book or like Coach Beard, be a path to less negativity in your life?
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