Forgive

Journal Prompt 3

I always believed in this ideology that one should always forgive but never forget. Guess, life doesn’t always go according to the saying!

I do believe a lot in forgiveness; like what’s the point of carrying the toxicity of someone else’s faults till the end of life?

Forgiveness is not feeling resentment towards someone who has hurt you. Letting go of the worry caused by someone else. Not holding on to the anger. Providing space for myself to forgive myself. To let go of the expectations that I have for myself.

I also read a lot of quotes about forgiveness. Like, forgiveness is not for the weak or it is the best revenge one can take. I instead believe that:

Forgiveness is about YOU

But do we all forgive ourselves or others without any conditions? If someone were to ask me — whether can I forgive someone easily? The answer is no. Because there are conditions, and trust factor also comes into account. And sometimes, I just don’t want to. And — whether am I able to forgive myself easily? Nope. I cannot. I relive the past just to make sure I don’t repeat the mistake.

Coming from the Jain family, our religion speaks heavily about forgiveness. As children, we’re always asked to say ‘Michhami Dukkadam’ at the end of our 8-day fasting period (Paryushan) kind of guaranteeing us that we’re moving towards the path of Forgiveness. Back then, we never really understood its meaning except that the word is quite pure.

Michhami Dukkadam means, If I have caused you offence in any way possible, either knowingly or unknowingly — in thought, word, or in action, then I seek your forgiveness

So now, living by this, I forgive myself often if I have made an offence; or if I have hurt myself in my thoughts, words, or actions. And I happily ask for forgiveness for myself and others.

But I also wish some days it would just be great to sit and not have to think about what we’re forgiving ourselves for. Just having enough energy to accept who we are as individuals. Not having the pressure to believe that everything is going according to plan, and if it’s not, then it is my fault.