Forgive and release everyone of the past

Think about it.?You are, first of all, assuming you know what others will think or do. Always a mistake. Even if many others don’t forgive you, there will always be people who do. Avoid doing them an injustice. Or you will become guilty of the thing you are accusing them of. Secondly, you can of course choose not to forgive yourself and to punish yourself for the rest of your life, but what kind of life will you be leading? How will that empower you to be the best you can be to heal the world from the negative act that you mention? If most of your psyche is devoted to rehearsing past woes, none of it will be available for doing good.

It would be better to get some learning and to focus on putting good out into the universe, to counter-act the negative actions that you took. Even after committing a terrible thing, you can still acquire grace. You won’t do it by being mean to yourself, however - or by being prejudiced to others by assuming you know what their actions will be, or by tarring everyone with the same brush. Because forgiveness is healthy not just for you but for all those around you. If you don't or can't forgive yourself you carry a painful burden, and are less happy, which is not just detrimental to your well-being but also that of all those who care about you and all those you encounter in everyday life. Without this burden you would be in a position to give more to others so it is not a selfish thing to forgive yourself at all.

If others have not forgiven you that is a sad fact for them because they too carry a burden of resentment. It is better for them and for everyone around them that they forgive, and if they have not come to realise this then this is a sad fact but it is quite common and there's nothing you can easily do about it. You can hope and pray that they come to forgive you because it is better for them, and all those around them, as much as it is for you.

The problem with this is that we can decide to forgive ourselves; we can say we forgive ourselves and think we have forgiven ourselves, yet the feelings of guilt and shame can sometimes remain so in our heart it appears we haven't forgiven ourselves. Why is this, and what is the solution? I don't think we should worry about finding the solution just now. We need to understand why we are not forgiving ourselves.

In my experience I tend to find that when I have not been able to forgive myself or others even though I decide to and say I do, it is because I do not understand why the thing which caused me upset or resentment happened; for example, if I don't forgive myself for the harm I caused a loved one, it's because I don't understand why I caused that loved one harm. I don't understand the thing I am forgiving. I don't understand why it happened.

When I understand why I harmed this loved one, when I realised I did it because I was hurt and I didn't see clearly what I was doing for example, then forgiveness happens naturally. I don't have to try and forgive myself. I don't even have to decide to forgive myself. Maybe I need to remind myself now and then that I have forgiven myself, but that is just because of old patterns of thinking. Understanding leads to forgiveness.

And conversely, I find that if we are angry or resentful or blaming something or someone then this indicates we do not completely understand what we are angry at. A scientist never gets angry at the reality they understand. A scientist may get angry or frustrated when they are trying to understand something yet they are failing, but the scientist never gets angry at an atom or a molecule because they understand why it does what it does. Where anger is, understanding is not. Where understanding is, anger is not; that is my experience. Same too with blame.

So I think the answer is to understand. We all need to understand our reality including, if we can, other people who are in our reality, and if we don't we may hold resentment and anger but that's not go for us or anybody in the world. We shouldn't be angry at those who don't forgive us because they lack understanding and that is why they are not forgiving us. We certainly shouldn't blame ourselves just because other people blame us because blame is not the truth. The truth is reality.

We need to understand reality. Then forgiveness happens naturally and blame fades away. Blame is not the truth. Reality is the truth. We need to understand reality, then blame fades away. If you don't forgive yourself, you will forever remain in the past. You need to ask God for forgiveness and also forgive yourself because God is most forgiving. For people to forgive you and accept you, they need to see that you are a changed person actively trying to be a better person.

You need to do new positive things, try volunteering , read more to better your knowledge, create new circle of friends, ask sincerely for forgiveness from those you hurt. Ask them what you can do to make it up to them. For them to be angry, it means they love you. If they don't, they would not have cared. Above all, start loving your self. You have your whole life ahead of you, you cannot be miserable the whole of it. Also remember, if God can forgive you, then you have to forgive yourself.

You may say, why forgive yourself at all, you may needlessly carry pain, guilt, shame and blindly believe forgiveness will help. If I may suggest your view could be topsy turvy. Upside down, isn’t forgiveness a philosophical practise that is an action to release you from wrong doing. People are suffering pain for no wrong doing in the real world. How can forgiveness release those not perpetrating wrong actions. It may just be your viewpoint holding you still, move through the experiences of hard yet evident pains of suffering like everyone else. When you are born into a world where a philosophical belief is placed upon you for being born. Than only your belief holds this philosophical opinion to exist. Cheers!