The World Between Us
Once upon a time, in a colorful land of rolling hills and sparkling streams, there lived two unique types of people – the Forgives and Forgets. The land was split into two parts by a gentle river, with the Forgets living on one side and the Forgives on the other.
In this enchanting place, where the same day seemed to happen over and over, as long as anyone could remember, each type of people were born, lived, and died without ever going to the other side. The children were told that crossing the river meant death, and for one reason or another, they never quite ventured far enough to get to the other side. Eventually, they stopped trying, and knew only that they should fear this in-between place.?The adults, consumed by their differences or similarities, spent less and less time listening to the youth and noticing the larger rhythms at play.
There were four types of Forgives, who were known as the "haves" for their abundant positivity and relentless optimism:
Although part a seeming utopia, the Forgives, in their pursuit of constant growth, often fell into the trap of toxic positivity. They struggled to acknowledge the realities of sadness, loss, and the need for boundaries, leading to exhaustion and a lack of authentic connection. Their reluctance to face the darker aspects of life sometimes even led to groupthink, where dissenting voices or uncomfortable truths were glossed over in favor of an empty facade. The Forgive's children grew listless and hateful, silently wishing someone would just burn it all down.?
On the other side of the river, the Forgets, were also known as the have-nots. They often embodied extreme passions that bordered on war and abandonment in many ways every day. They never had enough of what they needed, and when someone tried anything else, they were too much in the worst kind of way. Also, in what seems like more than a coincidence, there were four types of Forgets.
The children of the Forgets trolled each other out of pleasure and boredom, and sometimes wondered if there was any point to being alive at all when life seemed so pointless all the time.
Both sides were consumed by an endless cycle of increasing dissatisfaction and drain that seemed to reset a bit worse each day when the sun rose. But then, as all stories go, one day something new happened. It started with a cloud in the sky, that took shape in a peculiar way. Someone pointed upwards to puzzle at what was happening to more and more clouds above them all. Soon, the clouds seemed to all resemble figures that had meaning for at least a few people who saw their dreams and fears above their heads. As both sides stared upward in wonder, shading their eyes and murmuring to each other questions that had no answers, all began to sense a change was afoot as the ground trembled a bit underneath everyone’s feet.?
Fear swept the land, and all believed that something worse would soon arrive. The Forgives looked at their trembling feet and were suddenly so tired that they didn’t have a sense of direction anymore on how to make it better. The Forgets could not remember why they were so discordant all the time, but realized awkwardly that they were at a loss on any other way to interact. That night, all had the type of dreams that makes one toss and turn, but when they awoke, none were able to remember what they had dreamt the next day.?
To clear their minds, both sides were inadvertently drawn to the soothing sounds of the river in between. Throughout the day, more and more arrived there to walk or sit by it. This river was scattered with many stones, some large enough to sit on, others small enough to skip in the wider parts of the current. The villagers wandered along the banks or found comfy spots to sit and observe the bubbling water and currents beneath. Many noticed that the rushing water sometimes seemed as if it had creatures wrestling underneath the surface trying to break free of the current.
Like the clouds from the day before, many began to see that the people on the other side as part of the strange and new thing that had brought them there. Was this connected to the event from yesterday? It felt like a year since that moment when the ground had shaken beneath their feet. Were the strange dreams they had about what seemed like the fighting undercurrents racing between them? However, the rhythm of both sides arriving together and separately made them more curious than afraid.?
Finally, one person, who felt as if they had the weight of the world on their shoulders, and just needed to not wonder anymore, picked up an especially heavy stone and threw it at the other side. It landed in the middle, and after rolling a couple times, settled and changed the current ever so slightly. The people who saw their boldness, noticed that there was a lightness in the rock thrower's step as they turned around and returned to drier ground.? Someone from the other side soon stomped out as if to react, halted abruptly, with the water rushing around their knees… reached deep in the river and pulled out another stone. They placed it with care next to the one that been thrown in the center. More and more of the villagers gathered next to the river, and every day, more stones were placed on or around the first two.?
Soon, campfires were started on both sides, food was gathered and cooked, and new twists on old stories began to emerge as they watched each other dance and sing into the night. The next day, they came back, and moved more stones to the center, pausing to talk to whomever had met them with a stone from the other side as if called by some deeper rhythm. Sometimes, people picked up small stones, and skipped them down the river next to each other, listening through body language and approving glances when a stone skipped especially far, or a sympathetic shrug for the ones that seemed they would fly the best and instantly sunk instead.?
They began to learn from each other, and discern new ways to be connected in the mysteries of the writhing river between them. The Forgives, with their endless optimism, helped the Forgets see the light in their own darkness. In turn, the Forgets, with their more grounded view of life's challenges, helped the Forgives understand the importance of naming and acknowledging pain, setting boundaries, and the transformative power of grief and loss. A new story (or was it a song?) began to flow between the two sides, brought by the children that once threw rocks at each other, and wished those not like them to disappear.?
When the villagers asked their children where the story came from, various stories emerged, but all agreed that the rhyme was from the river. It went something like this:?
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“Black and white
Good and Bad
Polarizing others
We’ve always had
Up and down
Right and left
We know its hard
To know what’s next
Now I breathe
And see again
In the eyes of my enemy
Was also my friend.”
This exchange and new ritual of coming together by the river led to a profound transformation in both lands. The Forgives started to embrace the full spectrum of human emotions, learning to balance their optimism with realism and self-care. The Forgets, inspired by the Forgives, began to remember the hope underneath their disappointment, the strength in vulnerability, and the practice of conflict resiliency to heal and soften the extreme moments.?
As the two sides built a bridge with purposeful stories of fantasy and fact that they could tell each other when fear became their common ground again, they found the misunderstandings and clumsy human attempts at fixing things that weren't broken became more entertaining than divisive, and a more balanced and holistic community emerged. It was a place where joy was celebrated and accepted, but pain was also acknowledged and made space for; where growth was encouraged, but rest was equally valued.?
The land of the Forgets and Forgives became a realm that valued and embraced the full range of human experience, learning from each other, and finding harmony in their differences. In this land, every individual, whether a Forgive or Forget, contributed to a rich tapestry of life, woven with threads of joy, sorrow, struggle, and growth. Eventually, when the bridge of stones and stories were solid and reliable, they began to live on both sides together. When someone decided to cross the bridge (or build another) or leave for a different horizon altogether, they were grieved and celebrated at the same time. All would gather still together at the edges of the river on occasion and know that they had more than enough of the separateness from before, and enough had been found again between all the extremes. Through trusting and curiosity, boundaries and bridges were part of everyone's lives guiding them to follow deeper rhythms of belonging than ever had been imagined.
Are you from the land of Forgives or Forgets? If you were to go to the other side for a day, what would you boundary or remember??