Forgive COVID-19like an Optimist
One year ago, I posted on LinkedIn[1] asking of the Victorian Premier, Dan Andrews, “Is anyone else hearing the 'Yes, BUT' language of the current lockdown? 'Yes' the number of cases is coming down, 'but' we need to do more testing...'but' we won't relax Stage 4 on the current numbers...'but' we are still fining people for breaches. I suspect that optimist?Victor Perton?and youth mental health expert / Australian of the Year 2010,?Patrick McGorry, would say 'but' what of the consequences of this negative messaging.[2] We need more 'Yes, AND' to raise spirits. 'Yes' it’s improving, 'and' we need to stay the course.?This post struck a chord with people, with ~24,000 views and many comments about the effectiveness and ineffectiveness of crisis communications during COVID-19. Not only to communicate information but also to communicate empathy and optimism. Yes, it’s tough, AND we will get through this together.
AND it has been tough! We are living amid the first global mass trauma event since World War Two, and likely the first of such severity in our lifetime. What makes COVID-19's trauma truly "massive"[3], though, is its impact on the entire population, including those who will never catch the virus or even know people who have. For many, the prospect of catching a deadly invisible disease, however unrealised, is obviously and intrinsically frightening. So too, is the vicarious trauma of seeing others experiencing the health, and consequential socio-economic impacts, of COVID-19. AND, for those who are experiencing illness and death, direct loss and grief, from COVID-19, it is singularly and collectively traumatic. After the pandemic ends, the effects of the mass trauma it has inflicted will linger across societies for years. AND what does the science of trauma suggest that we should, and shouldn't, do in order to heal?
Trauma can be understood as a rupture in "meaning-making", says David Trickey, a psychologist and representative of the UK Trauma Council. When "the way you see yourself, the way you see the world, and the way you see other people are shocked and overturned by an event – and a?gap arises between your "orienting systems" and that event?– simple stress cascades into trauma, often-mediated through sustained and severe feelings of helplessness.” Helplessness, oh yeah, I felt that during the Melbourne lockdown in the second half of 2020. Felt in so many ways through small reductions in personal freedoms and so many small increases in moral dilemmas. For example, can I enter that elevator with other people, should that person be wearing their mask, what if I exercise for 65mns rather than the allotted 60? It sounds so trivial, yet simple stresses cascade into trauma. The science of trauma suggests that we should acknowledge the event and its effect on us, work through the grief (such as Kubler-Ross[4] 5 stage cycle of grief), and seek to mend the rupture in “meaning-making”. World War II holocaust survivor and respected psychiatrist Viktor Frankl offered guidance for anyone who suffers in his book?Man’s Search for Meaning?“The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times. Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it…Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.” We can choose to work through the emotions of denial, anger, bargaining, or depression (the first 4 stages of the Kubler-Ross cycle), to get to acceptance (and meaning, which was added as a 6th stage) or we can stay in the ‘washing machine’ of the initial stages of the cycle. We can also choose to believe in a different future, not forgetting the past[5], but forgiving it.
Linking to the upcoming Victor Perton discussion[6] ‘The Habit of Forgive Like an Optimist’ [7]- 11 am on Thursday 22 July – optimism:
·???????is “hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something; a tendency to take a favourable or hopeful view.”[8]
·???????says that we have a choice of how we respond (as Viktor Frankl observed).
·???????believes that you can change and that others can change.
In response to the mass and individual trauma of COVID-19, we have a choice to be optimistic about the future. A way to move through the grief cycle to acceptance and meaning is through forgiveness. Indeed, Desmond Tutu wrote in his book, No Future without Forgiveness, that “Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” Optimists hope for another chance of a new beginning, and forgiveness helps to create that chance. All major religious traditions carry basically the same message - that love, compassion and forgiveness should be part of our daily lives - and, though forgiveness is often difficult, it serves a two-fold purpose. There is the chance of healing and a new beginning for the person forgiven and also for the person forgiving. Let’s look at the emphasis – you are given another chance, and you are giving another a chance, to make a new beginning.
As I asked a year ago, will we hold onto the grief and grievances associated with a sense of loss and, as Dr Fred Luskin?notes in his forgiveness therapy work, hold onto our past grudges at the expense of our present happiness?[9] ?We can choose to stay in the ‘washing machine’ of the initial stages of the Kubler-Ross grief cycle, and continue to inflict hurt on ourselves and others. Or we can choose to change the way we see ourselves, the way we see the world, and the way we see other people. We can forgive events and the world that conspire against us, others who seek our harm or don’t understand our position, and even forgive ourselves for not being perfect, strong, patient, or forgiving. We do need to find meaning in suffering, including mass trauma events like COVID-19. What has COVID-19 meant for you, for your relationships, for your understanding of the world, for your understanding of yourself?
As Ivan Illich wrote, “Neither revolution nor reformation can ultimately change a society, rather you must tell a new powerful tale, one so persuasive that it sweeps away the old myths and becomes the preferred story, one so inclusive that it gathers all the bits of our past and our present into a coherent whole, one that even shines some light into the future so that we can take the next step… If you want to change a society, then you have to tell an alternative story.” If you want to change COVID-19 as a mass trauma event, what is your alternative story?[10] WorldCC?Research into Pessimism and Preventism encourages us to adopt optimistic language - it does make a difference. What language and story will you take in a post-COVID world? Find out more at www.worldcc.com
Please note that these are my own personal views and not necessarily those of WorldCC.
领英推荐
[4] Elisabeth?Kubler-Ross?in a book called 'Death and Dying' which came out in the year 1969.
[5] The lasting social dangers of mass trauma consist in forgetting. When it goes unprocessed, undiscussed, perhaps?actively repressed, the group's social tissues remain disturbed and unhealed. Individual trauma builds up unrecognised and festers under the cracks.
[6] The Habits of an Optimist animated course - Habit 12 Forgive Like an Optimist -?https://www.projectoptimism.com.au/courses/optimism-can-be-learnt-the-habits-of-an-optimist/
[8] According to the Oxford English Dictionary,?
[9] Roberto Assagioli “Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation”
Creating Thriving Workplaces through Collaboration | External HR | Wellbeing | Safety | Recruitment | People and Culture Strategy | Training
3 年https://www.dhirubhai.net/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6821698422194745345/
Co Owner Health104 | Holopod Health |Investor | Advisory Board Member
3 年Looking forward to it Bruce Everett and to discussing this topic! Thanks for joining! Just tagging Joseph Saheb Bakhsh, Jenny Boymal and Fred Luskin too who will be joining also!
Creating Thriving Workplaces through Collaboration | External HR | Wellbeing | Safety | Recruitment | People and Culture Strategy | Training
3 年Thanks Bruce Everett for sharing this!! We are very much looking forward to the discussion!