Forget Trump... this is the real Crisis! ????

Move over, Trump’s tariffs, there’s a new economic crisis brewing, and it’s threatening to upend St. Patrick’s Day 2025 as we know it. This past weekend, reports surfaced of Guinness shortages in St. John’s, Newfoundland, and across the UK, including Scotland. That’s right, the world’s most sacred stout is running low, and the culprit? Gen Z and their reckless commitment to Splitting the G.

Please Embassy of Ireland Ottawa help Canadian Guinness connoisseurs!

For those unfamiliar, this TikTok-fueled phenomenon has turned the noble act of Guinness consumption into a mere speed trial, where drinkers must down their pints in a single go, ensuring the golden harp logo’s “G” splits precisely at the halfway point. It’s efficiency gone too far, Guinness was never meant to be chugged like some frat house lager!

Let’s be clear: this isn't just a pub problem. This is an international economic catastrophe. With St. Patrick’s Day looming, Canada and Ireland now face the potential of the worst Guinness drought in modern history. Imagine the horror, parades full of green-clad revelers, only to find their beloved pints replaced with... alternative stouts. The damage to trade relations between Canada and Ireland? Immeasurable. The impact on social morale? Devastating.

Gen Z, it’s time to put down the stopwatch and pick up some respect. Learn to savour the creamy, nitrogen-infused nectar of Irish joy. Appreciate the rich maltiness, the delicate notes of coffee and chocolate, the cascading pour that took 9,000 years to perfect. Let’s restore balance to the world, one slow sip at a time.

This St. Paddy’s, do the right thing. Drink responsibly. Drink properly.

#SaveTheStout #GuinnessCrisis #SlowAndSteadySips #StPatricksDay #CanadianHumour #SatireButSerious