Forget the resolutions. Why they fail, and what works instead.

I used to be almost, well, obsessed with New Year’s resolutions. So much so, I even ran a workshop called "Intentions, Resolutions, and Goals, Oh My!" (yes, Wizard of Oz fans, I see you.)

At this time of year, many of us are filled with a sense of optimism and the urge to make resolutions. It’s a fresh start, a blank slate, a new opportunity to begin again, after all. We vow to exercise more, eat more greens, get organized, save money, or finally start that dream project.

Yet, despite our best intentions, studies show that over 85% of people abandon their resolutions by February.

So, why do resolutions, so full of promise and potential, often end in disappointment? And more importantly, what can we do differently?

The Pitfalls of Traditional Resolutions

Unrealistic Goals.

Many resolutions fail because they are simply too ambitious (or there are TOO MANY of them!). Setting high expectations without a realistic plan can lead to frustration and burnout.

Lack of Planning.

Resolutions often lack a clear, step-by-step plan for achievement. Without a roadmap, how are you going to know where you’re going? And how will you know when you get there? It becomes all too easy to lose direction and momentum.

Ignoring Mindset.

A resolution is a goal for the future, but if our mindset isn't aligned with that goal, it's like trying to drive with the handbrake on. Personal growth and mindset shifts are critical components often overlooked. You need to step into becoming the type of person who would achieve these goals.

All-or-Nothing Thinking.

Many resolutions are framed in absolute terms—success or failure. This black-and-white thinking leaves little room for the nuances of real life and can lead to giving up after the first setback. You’re going to fall off the horse at some point. It’s not going to be perfect. But are you going to get back on and keep going anyhow?!?

So, How Can We Do It Differently?

Last year, I shook things up with "11 Days of New Year’s Evolutions" (DM me if you want the content—my gift to you). This year, I’m taking an even simpler stance:

Where do you want to be one year from now?

What is ONE THING you would like to have achieved, or ONE THING you would like to be different about your current situation?

WHO do you want to be? And of course, HOW do you want to FEEL?

Instead of starting with a laundry list of resolutions, habits, and goals (while they certainly serve a purpose), ask yourself: are they getting you closer to where you ultimately want to be? As Stephen Covey famously said, "Start with the end in mind."

Be Your Future Self Now

I’m diving into Be Your Future Self Now by Dr. Benjamin Hardy, and it’s packed with gems about stepping into the person you want to be—not just one year from now, but 10 years from now—starting today.

Dr. Hardy shares seven threats to your future self:

• Without hope in your future, your present loses meaning.
• A reactive narrative about your past stunts your future.
• Being unaware of your environment creates random evolution.
• Being disconnected from your future self leads to myopic decisions.
• Urgent battles and small goals keep you stuck.
• Not being in the arena is failing by default.
• Success is often the catalyst for failure.

So many gems in each of theses chapters as he explains more, with very compelling stories. And while I haven’t finished the book yet, one of the biggest takeaways thus far is this: while lofty goals are great, real change starts when you evolve into the person ready to achieve them.

And in order to do that, you have to believe you can be that person.

And if you truly believe you can be that person, what is one action you can take today?

Dr. Hardy talks about courage as the doorway to transformation. And while I don’t disagree, courage is something too many of us wait to have.

Here’s where I differentiate courage from brave:

Courage is something you feel. Brave is something you choose.

You can choose to get into action before you feel ready, before you feel confident, before you feel courageous.

Forget the Resolutions. Start Small. Start today!

Stop putting all that pressure on yourself to take on ALL the things—new habits, new intentions, new resolutions, new goals. It’s just too much. And honestly? You’re likely setting yourself up for failure.

Instead, start to befriend your future self. Get super clear on who that person is, where they are, what they’re doing, and how they’re feeling. Let that exciting vision guide your day-to-day actions. Don’t get too caught up in the minutia of the urgent. Make time for the important—the small actions that will take you closer to where you want to be.

Start small. Start today. Start with ONE thing.

I believe in you! ??