Forget the resolutions!

It’s a new year filled with new opportunities, new challenges, and a new beginning.? For many of us, we will contemplate a fresh start in some aspect of our life.? We will consider committing to a new year’s resolution.? For most of us, we will start off strong striving for that goal.? By the middle of January, many will start making compromises and by the end of the month, most will completely forget about the resolution altogether.? We are no better off, and for many, we have another failure that reminds us just how inadequate we are to make positive change in our life.

Why do so many of us fail with resolutions?? For one, although we have great intentions, our focus is on the “prize” not the process.? When we focus solely on outcomes, we don’t consider the actions required to achieve those outcomes.? I often refer to this concept as “destination disease”.? We love the idea of losing 15 pounds, completing a 10K race, reading the Bible in a year, writing a book, quitting some bad habit, saving money, cutting out sweets, or any number of other goals.? The accomplishment sounds great; however, we don’t fully consider the process required to achieve those goals.

Not only do we not have a sound perspective of the process required, we also don’t have a good plan to achieve the goal.? We have our “eyes on the prize”, play our motivational music in our heads, and jump in with everything we have.? At the first sign of discomfort, we start to question the value of continuing.? With no plan, we don’t know how to measure progress and quickly rationalize that it’s no longer worth it.?

We haven’t told anyone, so there is no real accountability.? We just quietly retreat to our old lifestyle with another failure in our memory bank.? We may lose motivation for change and find ourselves just seeking a level of comfort to avoid any more challenges that may lead to failure.

Don’t lose your passion for life change, personal development, or the hope of a more fulfilling life.? So, whether you are contemplating a new year’s resolution or have given up on those resolutions based on past failures, let me give you an idea for a different approach.? This approach focuses on who you are becoming rather than what you are achieving.? This approach is process oriented not destination focused.

Consider who you want to become in 2024.? What identity would you like to clarify, expand, or develop.? For example, do you want to become a runner?? If so, you need to purchase running shoes, select a running plan, set a goal to run a race in the next 90 days, identify a route to run, let some close friends know who you are becoming, and get started.? You are seeking the identity of a runner.? You have a goal of running a race in 90 days, but that’s just a goal. That goal is not your purpose or your identity.??? You enter races because you are a runner.?

The same concept holds true if you want to become a writer, a Bible reader, a health-conscious person, a good steward of finances, etc.? Think identity change and not goal.? Use a goal to support your identity, but the goal can not be the sole focus.

Set yourself up for success by making it easy to get started.? The easier it is to get started, the more likely you are to take the next step toward who you want to become.?

Build some accountability into your process by telling others what you are doing.? You want these people to ask you about it.? If you are really changing your identity, you will want to talk about it.

When you fall in love with the process of who you are becoming, you don’t want to compromise, miss a day, take a break, or consider quitting.? Your identity will define who you are not your achievements.?

The world may tell you that achievements define success.? I would challenge that with something different.? Who you become determines significance.? Success can be great, but it only lasts in the moment.? Significance just might last forever!