Forget Resolutions in 2019

Make 2019 the last year you set a New Year’s Resolution. Before we dive into why, here are some top resolutions individuals self-reported to start 2019:

• weight loss,
• exercise program,
• stop smoking,
• better money management & debt reduction,
• read more books.

Do these sound like you?

Let’s talk about how long these resolutions last, I’ve seen a lot of numbers floated, but they are all usually within a pretty similar range.

• past the first week: 75%
• past 2 weeks: 64%
• after one month: 46%
• past 6 weeks: 31%
• after 6 months: 12%

Does this also sound like you?

So if we know the odds are against us on this, why do a majority of us year over year continue to set these resolutions?

At its core, it’s because by nature we’re always striving, at some level. It’s our human nature, striving for more, better, or improvement. But we’re going about it the wrong way. You wake up January 1, and you set that goal for working out an hour a day. Just an hour. 4% your day. Not a big deal, right? You probably make it to the gym that day. Within a week, that hour slips to 30-45 minutes. Then by week 2 or 3, you have a long or difficult day and you justify why you can’t make it to the gym. And from that day on your membership goes unused for the next 11 1/2 months.

So can we move on from setting New Year's’ resolutions we know are expected to fail?

Enter habits.

Who do you know that is a regular at the gym? Or regularly seems to get through books at a steady state? Or who always brings a healthy salad to work for lunch?

The one thing they will all have in common is habits. An educated guess says the gym buff works out at the same time the same days a week. The reader has a consistent time of day they read. The healthy eater goes to the store the same days and probably even preps meals at the same times.

And what do most of us do? We workout “when it fits” in our schedule. We sit down to read, but Twitter happens. Oh and then I forgot about that Facebook notification from earlier, and I bet someone posted a new story on Instagram since I checked 45 minutes ago. The book becomes a coffee table accessory. And we grocery shop AFTER we realize the fridge was empty and we already ordered pizza in the interim.

So the problem isn’t solely your self determination or will power. Both of those will fail you. The problem is your habits.

Let’s talk about habits and how they form. A habit is a behavior or task that has been repeated enough times to be automatic. Our brain develops habits when we encounter new situations and your brain has to make decisions. That takes a lot of energy to do. So your brain learns the most effective neural pathway to reach that same outcome. So that way the next time you run into this situation, you expend less energy to make the same decision. And like someone continually cutting through grass in a yard, eventually a path develops. and Eventually it becomes a larger and more prominent path. Your brain does the same thing. So when you’re out of groceries, your brain's neural pathway calculates how long it would take to go to the store, prep, and make a meal. Pizza can be here in half the time. Ordered. If I want to go to the gym I’d have to figure out what to wear, where should I park, what should I do for my workout.. Netflix is easier.

So how do you break your current habits and plan your new habits? There’s an enormous selection of options for planning and tracking your habits. This might involve a little trial and error. I’ve settled into a daily planner and a daily habit grid.

There are 2 steps toward making these habits stick. First you need to reach 100% completion on daily/weekly habits. This will give you a feeling of accomplishment and build your trust in yourself that you can do the things you said you were going to do. But it’s still going to be a battle. You might get to the end of one day, you’re ready for bed, but you haven’t read or gone to the grocery store and planned lunch yet. You’ve got to do it. Suck it up, deal with the consequences tomorrow of being a little more tired, and get it done.

But once you have some momentum completing 100% you can take action toward the second step, which is what will truly make it habit forming. Find the time to complete your habits consistently. This is where the real power of habits begins. Again, this will take some trial and error. You might not be a great morning workout person. That’s okay, but can you complete 100% of your planned workouts immediately after work? Over time, the habit should become the rule rather than the exception.

As you go to implement and create new habits, you’ll run into many of the events that sideline most New Year’s resolutions. There are a few small tactical changes to implement that will help them stick.

1 — Attach your habit to a previous event/habit. After [insert current habit], I will [new habit].

“When I wake up, I will immediately go workout”. “As soon as I get home I will read for 30 minutes”. “I will grocery shop every Sunday and Thursday after work”. Reduce the mental energy you need to make that decision. It no longer requires you to stop and think, when should I workout? When should I read?

2 — Make it easy OR tie a reward to it.

If you like catching up on the latest Netflix or Hulu show, allow yourself to watch it while you’re on the treadmill [Reward]. Set out your clothes and shoes the night before and put them in a place you’d have to move them in the morning when your alarm goes off [Easy]. Put your book down in your favorite chair, so you have a trigger to read before you fall into the social media or YouTube black hole [Easy].

Don’t for a moment think any of this will be quick or simple. And don’t beat yourself up too much when you fail, because you certainly will. But if you can find your way to make some positive habits stick in 2019. You can stack new habits mid year, and even more in 2020. And then maybe refine and improve habits after that. Rather than a resolution you’ll quit by mid February just to find yourself in the same place 10 months later and re-set the same goal, you might be able to strive for even larger more ambitious goals.

Here’s to goals you might actually follow through on!