Forget Charisma! This is THE Key Skill Speakers and Trainers Can Embody for Successful Outcomes

Do you feel safe attending workshops and meetings?

Can facilitators unknowingly violate the psychological safety they claim to want to provide?

Many of you remember a recent post last week sharing my theme for 2025 is "Inclusion."

One of my connections Lorraine Lee, CIPP/E asked me "Coen, how do you incorporate 'Inclusion' as a speaker?"

And thanks to her question, which triggered my reflection and the writing of this article.

So here, I'll explain how I intend to be as inclusive as I possibly can in the work that I do with audiences (whether a speech to thousands or a cosy workshop of 10)

Inclusion Practice #1: Inclusive Eye Contact

As a speaker, I make an effort to make eye-contact with all of my audience member. Though not feasibly possible in a large audience of hundreds or thousands, I pick and choose key areas of the room, which makes it look like you're making eye contact with everyone in the segment of the room from a large stage.

But I am very aware that I have a "left-side orientation bias", meaning, I tend to make eye contact with people on the left-side of the room more than the right-side.

It used to be 70%-30%, but through conscious effort, I've reduced it to 60%-40%, but still it's not.

My Solution:

I often would "call myself out" by sharing at the start of my workshops or speeches that I have such a quirk, so those who are in my "blind spots" don't feel excluded.

Often, I see my audiences surprised by this candid admission and smile empathetically.

Inclusion Practice #2: Ensuring Safe Participation

I used to think that I'm a "safe" human being, until my trauma-informed journey with my mentor Natalia Rachel . She challenged and taught me what it really means to be a trauma-informed facilitator.

One of the change in approach is how I view "participation"

Have you been to workshops where trainers preach "participating at ??%?"

Very often, what ??% participation looks like comes in the form of raising hands to ask questions, grabbing the mic to speak and share, or (heaven forbid) jumping up and down to loud dance music." [CRINGE]

What this indirectly causes, though unintentionally, is a tacit shaming of people who don't exhibit such behaviours.

When people feel shamed or judged, they immediately feel unsafe, they shut down and stop learning.

My Solution:

Since I've become trauma-informed, I've changed my approach.

There're people who don't appear to be participative, e.g. they are constantly on their phones, they move sluggishly and don't share in group discussions.

Instead of judging them as less participative, I try to be empathetic:

• Maybe they've pulled an all-nighter to finish a work deadline?
• Perhaps they are just introverts, shy or socially awkward? Or maybe even neuro-divergent?
• Maybe they are on their phones because that's how they take notes?

I just "meet them where they are" for the moment, and if possible seek them out during the breaks to simply ask "are you okay?"

It's me saying "who you are, and how you are now showing up is accepted here. You are included no matter what".

I am also cognisant from understand psychology of learning, and from my years of experiences, that not everybody learn best by being "out in front."

Even for my workshops on storytelling or public speaking, not everyone is ready to just jump up and share. Some needs a longer runway and lead time to "warm up."

Forcing them to learn that way, by placing the spotlight on them and asking probing question can be trauma-inducing.

They may become "deer-in-headlights" and freeze.

And when people freeze, their brains stop functioning well, and shuts down learning.

Inclusion Practice #3: Suspend my Unconscious Biases as Much as Possible

Being a speaker or facilitator, I often have pre-session meetings, briefings, and even focused-group conversations with key stakeholders. They would often brief me about the demographic of the audience, the "current climate" within the team or "big personalities to look out for."

For workshops such as the Enneagram and the Myers-Briggs Type Indication (MBTI) programs that I teach, I also would've known the profile of the participants before hand from the online tests they took.

These are essential and helpful "guide posts" for my approach to preparing my speech, the stories I'd share that resonate with the group, and how I would approach the class.

However, there's a potential downside to this.

It's very easy to fall into the trap of prejudging people, and this is exacerbated by the "confirmation bias" I may hold during the workshop - noticing only information that confirms my presuppositions about people and the group.

My Solution:

I made it a deliberate practice as an inclusive speaker or facilitator that before I enter a room, I would consciously go through a reflection of all possible biases I may have for my audience.

Why?

I would be able to approach every room with a clean slate, "read the room" and meet people where they are. This also gives me the freedom to alter my approach on the fly as I see fit.

Why Being an Inclusive Speaker and Facilitator is So Important

Being a speaker or facilitator is not just a privileged position on stage - It's a leadership position.

To lead a session from the front, I become the "director of traffic" and guardian of safe space - an important role that can make or break a workshop or a meeting.

Thankfully, my efforts to being an Inclusive Facilitator has bore fruit, not just for me professionally, but you can also read it from my participants' testimonials:

[You can read more in the "Recommendations" section in my LinkedIn Profile]

More About Me

I am Coen Tan, a keynote speaker, high-impact trainer, coach and strategic communications consultant who's spoken to and trained over 50,000 individuals in over 15 countries, inspiring them to reclaim their voices and influence through their authentic stories.

My clients come from various sectors, such as Pharmaceuticals, FinTech, Banks, FMCG, Chemicals and Government Organizations, with notable names such as PayPal, American Express, Citibank, Bank of Julius Baer, Siemens Healthineers, Danone, Nestle, Prudential, AIA, AXA, Zurich Insurance, Roche, Merck, AstraZeneca amongst others.

In May 2024, I was conferred the title of Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), given to the Top 12% Speakers Globally.

If you'd like to engage me to empower your team, let's chat!