The Forever Life Bonds: Relationships That Matter

Family is a life jacket in the stormy sea of life.—JK Rowling

This International Day of Families it is important to know that family doesn’t just mean people related to us by blood, by anyone who loves us dearly. Being part of a family just means that we love and will be loved forever, no matter what happens—the life jacket in the stormy sea of life.

Since the coronavirus pandemic brought our lives to a crashing halt with disease, death, distance, and isolation, the importance of loving and being loved through it all has become the most important emotion. Feeling loved has kept us from losing hope; it has kept our smiles alive; it has made distance look closer, thanks to technology; it has brought the world closer; and most of all it has kept us alive and fighting. Our family, friends and loved ones have become our lifelines and crucial to our mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. Support, love, and kindness have become the mind food we need to survive. We often take our families and loved ones for granted, not realizing their worth when times are good. It’s during such crazy times and hours of need do we understand the truth worth loving and caring and being loved and cared for.?

It’s not uncommon to read stories of people who have reconnected with their loved ones after ages during the pandemic—siblings reconnecting; members of broken families making peace with each other; children reaching out to old grandparents. For every sad story of death and desolation out there, there are a few that talk about reconnecting or rebuilding bridges with lost family.?

Feeling Loved and Making Peace With What’s Not

This second wave was a bit of a shocker for me. I don’t know when or how, COVID-19 sneaked in on me, and then - before I even realized it, I had tested positive. Because of all the horror stories around, my first response on seeing a positive report was a slight fear (not much, but still enough fear to make my mind go blank for a few seconds) and uncertainty about what direction this disease will take and how my body will deal with it. When my lungs started to hurt, I was scared, but I told myself: “Worst case scenario? Death. Best case? Good health, stronger immunity, and more experiences.” So I surrendered to mother nature. But I realized that I’m able (and of course because of my inner-healing capabilities) to go with the best case because of my friends, who I consider as my family. Throughout this personal crisis, I felt positive because I had friends and family who checked up on me each day, laughing with me, researching for me, sending me suggestions and advice, and generally being kind. Although my family isn’t as I want them to be, I am grateful and thankful to them for sticking by me and being with me in their own way. These “forever bonds” have helped me tide over the worst and helped me realize who mean the most to me and to whom I mean the most. It also made me realize a few things about nurturing relationships that matter to us.?

Families and Individuals

When all things are fine and there isn’t much dysfunction, to an individual, a family unit can mean emotional and economic security; relief from personal stress and a boost to self-esteem; regulation of emotions; closeness and the feeling of being loved and nurtured and a longer life.?

As I said, a family is not always how we want it to be. Adjustments have to be made, peace has to be made with the illusion of a perfect family, and acceptance has to become a reality, not dreaming about how amazing a family could be. Then, once done, we can gave the spirit of our own family a chance and can flourish within its own dynamics.?

I know that the support and cushioning a family (yes, including friends) provides in the hour of need can save a person from falling apart emotionally and losing all hope.

Nurture Your Relationships

Make time for the people who matter. You can always take some time out of your busy schedule to connect with your family and friends regularly.?

Be there for those who mean a lot to you and whom you mean a lot to. Your devices may always be keeping you occupied either with regard to work or social media, but it’s important that you pay close attention to those who are near you and with you. Prioritize your loved ones.?

Listen and allow yourself to be heard.?It’s easy to be preoccupied with your own needs all the times, but?it helps to listen to your loved ones because it evokes a feeling of being supported and cared for. When you listen, it becomes easier to share how you feel and experience that support from the others. So listen and be listened to.

Become mindful of unhealthy relationships.?Crises can help us see relationships that are harmful and unhappy for us. Become aware and figure out ways to either bridge the gaps in your relationship or walk away and move on.?

Remain connected: Not all loved are near or with you. Go ahead and use your devices to make a video call or a normal call or write a long e-mail. Hear a voice you find soothing or calming or talk to someone who makes you laugh. Or simply make an old family member feel cared for and loved. If you are living alone, don’t wait for someone to call you, make the call yourself, it will make you feel less lonely, less cutoff, less scared, and more connected. You could also make connections via online communities and have a new family that shares your interests!

Set some healthy boundaries:?Too much continuous and endless togetherness during the pandemic can become irritating and overwhelming and cause for friction. Making space for yourself and finding your own quiet spot in the chaos can help hold on to your relationships without ripping them apart by putting them through the stress of too much closeness.?

You and your loved ones are in this together and life will not always be this way, but nurture and build what you want to hold dear, even when everything goes back to being as busy and scattered as before.?

To a strong bond with the people we love, to create something better,

Love, Jasmin?

Check out my video about How to manage stress | Understanding Stress and how to Deal with Stress