Forecast Schmorecast!

Rain? Rain? There was no rain in the forecast!

Jay and I were married on August 18th.

The day before the weather was perfect, just as forecasted for our wedding day. August in Illinois is normally hot and humid, so we were relived.

But that night the sky opened up and it poured into the morning of the 18th. We were left with unbearable heat and humidity. I swear it was 105 degrees with 100% humidity. ?

Things did not go as forecasted!

Here is the thing about a forecast, it is a prediction or estimate, usually based on a trend or some evidence, and it is not certain.

Yet, in life, we expect things to go exactly as we plan. Spoiler alert; they rarely do, even if we have a plan B.

So, when things don’t go as forecasted in your life or business, what do you do?

Our unconscious mind often interprets the unexpected as danger, triggering a fight, flight, or freeze reaction. The reactions could be;

1. Fight: Blame, lash out, sometimes even physically.
2. Flight: Avoid or run from the problem.
3. Freeze: Shut down, unable to act. ?

These reactions are automatic, but can be harmful. Instead, we can choose to respond consciously, letting our prefrontal cortex, the executive brain help us. In response mode people are more likely to:

1. Talk through the adversity without lashing out.
2. Problem solves without catastrophizing and avoiding.
3. Take small, productive steps without freezing. ?

So, how do you shift to your prefrontal cortex to respond vs. react? Try these:

1. Take a few deep breaths repeating a calming word ?
2. Ask a clarifying question to give yourself time to think.
3. Take a time out letting the other person know when you’ll follow up.
4. Take notes- focus on the facts not the story created in your head.

And when you do respond use “I” statements, e.g., “I need to find out more about what caused this. Do you have any ideas?” vs “This is a mess and it’s your fault. You need to find out who screwed up.”

Here’s the thing about reacting; once you react, you can’t take it back. Even with an apology, I’ve seen people lose opportunities, relationships, their reputations, their job and more.

Trust me—I have plenty of stories of reacting when I should have responded!

Understanding the science of what triggers reactions and how to shift into response mode has been invaluable for me.

Oh, and by the way, we’ll be celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary this year. Even though the weather didn’t pan out as forecasted, our marriage is going strong! I

’d love to hear your story about reactions and responses.

Peace, Love, and Responses,

Trish

Harmonize Coaching

PCC, Master Certified Results Coach

www.harmonizeu.com 612-805-0997

My book Real, Raw, & Relatable is available at Amazon.com https://amzn.to/3SF6000 and Barnes and Noble https://bit.ly/3yeB7aX