FORE!

Most of my life lessons seem to come to me through sports or my children, sometimes both. Recently, while spending quality time with my 14-year old son on the golf course, I hit an approach shot long to the left on the seventh hole. After several choice four letter words, I ripped my wedge out of my bag and stalked ahead, telling my son to drive to his ball behind me. As I stood in the tree line assuming he would hit on the green, I looked up for his ball and, you guessed it, THWACK, right on the forehead! I went down screaming, “Why didn’t you yell FORE?” In hindsight, I guess I thought the trees would protect me somehow but I now realize that trees are 90% air unless I happen to be hitting through them. Holding my forehead with blood streaming down my face I got a glimpse of my son’s face. He was absolutely horrified thinking he knocked out his dad. It’s a look I won’t soon forget.

On our way to the ER with my son in tears, I assured him that it was not his fault. I compounded a bad shot with a bad decision. My anger and impatience made me walk ahead of him, which is a fundamental golf “No-No”. Blaming him for not yelling fore was not fair since I never should have been where his ball could have hit me. Does this sound familiar? We make a mistake and in the heat of frustration, immediately start looking outward rather than inward to place the blame, even though our actions caused the mess in the first place. “This would have never happened if you didn’t ____.” Even as we are trying to fix things, we continue to assign blame rather than simply owning our part in it and moving towards a solution.

Every time someone sees the bandage on my head and I tell the story, the first thing I am asked is, “Did he yell fore?” My answer is the same. “He never should have been put in a position to need to yell fore. I made a mistake by going ahead of him!” This week when mishaps occur, before looking to blame someone else ask yourself what you could have done differently to avoid the situation in the first place. Humble yourself. Know it’s ok to make mistakes and take responsibility – people will respect you more for it. Don’t compound a bad shot with a bad decision just because you’re angry or impatient. Know the rules of the game, control your misses, own your faults and make this week count!