Forbidden Fruits of Leadership

Walking through an orchard, surrounded by trees heavy with fruit, is much like navigating the world of leadership and people management. Every choice presents an opportunity, some promising influence, success, and recognition. But just as in old tales, not all fruits are meant to be consumed. Some tempt with immediate gratification yet leave behind an aftertaste of regret.

I have seen teams and individuals reach for these enticing fruits, believing them to be the key to control, certainty, or recognition. I have done the same only to learn, sometimes the hard way, that certain indulgences come at a hidden cost. These are the forbidden fruits of leadership and people management—the ones that call to us but must be resisted for the sake of true growth, trust, and long-term impact.

At every turn, there are fruits within reach, each promising something desirable - power, control, recognition, certainty.

1. The Illusion of Control: The Fruit That Withers in Your Grip

Early in my journey, I believed that the best leaders were those who had a firm grip on everything. Like a gardener who personally tends to every branch, every leaf, every root, I wanted to know everything. But the tighter you hold on, the less things grow.

The tighter I held on, the more I found myself in a cycle of approvals, delays, and teams waiting for direction. The most capable people do not thrive under constant oversight; they grow when given trust. When a leader tries to control every aspect of a team’s work, they unknowingly limit creativity and ownership. The strongest teams are the ones empowered to move forward on their own. Leadership is nurturing the roots and creating an environment where the right moves happen naturally.

2. The Ego of "I Am Doing Everything": The Fruit That Weighs You Down and Clouds Your Vision

There is a fruit, ripe with arrogance, that tempts the leader who believes, “I must do it all. No one else can handle this.” It is the fruit that says, “Others may try, but their efforts will falter. If I don’t take charge, everything will crumble.” This belief feeds the ego, making the leader feel irreplaceable, the only one who truly understands the task at hand. It leads a leader to believe that their team is incapable, and that isolation is the only path to success.

But as the leader clutches this fruit, they fail to see that this belief only tightens their grip, drowning them in an endless cycle of work. When we look at our team through the lens of doubt, we stunt their growth, assuming they are incapable of rising to the challenge. We begin to see them as mere shadows of potential, unable to carry the load or contribute meaningfully. In this mindset, we trap ourselves in a world where we are the only one who can succeed, a world that grows increasingly heavier with each task we take on. But what we fail to realize is that by holding onto this fruit, we rob both ourselves and our teams of the opportunity to flourish. The fruit that once promised control now bears only exhaustion and stagnation.

3. The Mirage of Perfection: A Fruit That Never Ripens

There’s a certain pride in flawless execution, in making the right call every single time. But chasing perfection is like reaching for a fruit that’s always just out of reach. No matter how close you get, it keeps slipping away.

I have been in rooms where bold ideas were shelved because they weren’t "fully ready." I have seen teams freeze under the weight of perfectionism, where a decision was overanalyzed, ideas second-guessed. Progress slowed, innovation dulled, and before we knew it, we were watching others take bold steps while we debated our next move.

The pursuit of perfection often leads to paralysis, and in leadership, momentum matters more than flawlessness. The best ideas don’t emerge in sterile, risk-free environments; they flourish in spaces where mistakes are treated as fertilizer for growth. The best breakthroughs come not from waiting until something is perfect, but from launching when it’s good enough and learning along the way. Some of the most game-changing innovations didn’t start as perfect ideas. The first iPhone lacked basic features, early rockets exploded, and countless successful products were once rough versions of themselves. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t? They move forward, iterate, and refine along the way.

4. The Armor of Invulnerability: The Fruit That Turns Hollow

Strength is essential in leadership, but for a long time, I misunderstood what strength truly meant. I thought it meant having all the answers, never showing uncertainty, always being the pillar of stability.

But an untouchable leader is an unrelatable leader. People don’t follow machines, they follow humans. Teams don’t connect with perfection - they connect with honesty, vulnerability, and shared struggles. The moments that built the strongest connections with my teams weren’t when I had everything figured out, but when I admitted I didn’t. When a leader is honest about challenges, it creates space for others to step up and contribute solutions.

Many of the most respected leaders who inspire lasting loyalty are the ones who embrace vulnerability as a strength. Not weakness, not insecurity, but the confidence to say, “I don’t know, but let’s figure it out together.”

5. The Magnet of Recognition: A Fruit That Spoils Fast

Leadership comes with visibility, and it’s easy to become drawn to the spotlight. The thrill of personal recognition, of being the face behind success, is tempting. There is an undeniable rush when your ideas work, when the spotlight finds you, when applause echoes in the room. But leadership is not a solo performance - it is a symphony.

I have seen teams where credit was hoarded at the top, and I have seen teams where leaders passed the spotlight to those who made things happen. The difference in morale, in trust, in long-term success is immense.

The best recognition is not when people say you did well - it’s when they say we did well. True success is in building a legacy where others thrive long after you’re gone.

6. The Comfort of Certainty: The Fruit That Stagnates

Perhaps the most deceptive fruit of all is certainty. One of the hardest truths in leadership is that comfort is often the enemy of progress. It’s tempting to hold on to what has always worked, to avoid change, to resist the discomfort of the unknown. But like fruit left too long on a branch, stagnation eventually leads to decay. Relying on what has always worked, sticking to the known path, avoiding disruption - it feels like stability. Teams resist change, clinging to old methods like branches holding onto withered fruit. But what once fed success can become the very thing that holds you back. Growth requires letting go. Growth often starts where familiarity ends.

Companies that refused to evolve, leaders who stuck to old ways, teams that resisted change, they all eventually found themselves struggling to stay relevant. I have been part of conversations where we debated whether to take a risk or stick with what worked before. And every single time we chose evolution over comfort, we transformed lost opportunities into valuable growth. The best leaders don’t wait for certainty to knock on their door. They challenge norms, ask uncomfortable questions, and push themselves and their teams beyond the safety net of what’s familiar. It’s in those calculated leaps, the rapid adaptations, and the trust in the unknown that real growth happens. It’s uncomfortable, yes - but it’s where transformation lives.

Walking Past the Orchard

Leadership is full of tempting choices, but not all of them serve us in the long run. The forbidden fruits - control, perfection, invulnerability, recognition, and certainty are alluring, yet deceptive. They promise security but often lead to stagnation, isolation, and lost potential.

The most effective leaders I have met are the ones who walk past them with intention and awareness. They choose trust over control, progress over perfection, authenticity over invulnerability, collective success over individual recognition, and growth over comfort. Because in the end, leadership is not about what we take but what we choose to leave behind.?

Would love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever been tempted by these forbidden fruits? What lessons have shaped your leadership?