Foot Foot Goes Boating

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago and in a far, far, away place, there lived a little boy named Foot Foot.

Foot Foot was a very, very, very good little boy, except for one tiny, little thing. Sometimes, just now and then, almost never really, Foot Foot liked to go boating.

One day, Foot Foot decided to go on a boat. There were a few problems, though. Foot Foot did not have a boat. Foot Foot did not live near an ocean. Foot Foot did not live near a lake. Foot Foot did not live near a river. Foot Foot did not even have a swimming pool.

But Foot Foot had a great idea, which he called “in-door boating.”?? So, here is what Foot Foot did.

First, Foot Foot closed the front door of his house. Then, Foot Foot closed the back door of his house. Then, Foot Foot closed all the windows in his house. Then Foot Foot opened all the doors inside of his house. Then, Foot Foot turned on the water in his bathtub. Then Foot Foot turned on the water in his mother and father’s bathtub. After that, Foot Foot turned on the water in all the sinks in his house.

As the bathtubs and the sinks started overflowing and the water started running down the stairs and into the basement, Foot Foot put on his bathing suit and his life jacket and got all his bath-toys and beach toys and went to the basement.

And then, as the basement started filling up with water, Foot Foot looked around to see what he could use as a boat. And then he saw it! His grandfather’s big antique television would be a great boat. So, he carefully turned it over and made sure that the screen was on the bottom, and then he took off the back of the television set. Then he removed all those useless wires and other dumb stuff from it, until all that was left were the sides of the television and the screen which was now the bottom. And then Foot Foot climbed into the boat just in time because the water was getting pretty deep!

As the water level got higher and higher, the boat floated, and Foot Foot used his hands to paddle the boat around the basement. However, soon Foot Foot started to think that this was very hard work. What he needed was a paddle. So, he looked around the basement for something that he could use as a paddle. Just when he was worried that he would never find a paddle, his father’s expensive pickle ball paddle floated by, and Foot Foot grabbed it.

As the basement filled up with water and the boat floated higher and higher, Foot Foot paddled around the basement as fast as he could. Soon, however, Foot Foot realized that he might have a small problem, because as the basement filled up with water, the boat kept getting closer to the ceiling. Soon Foot Foot was near the top of the bookcases and getting closer to the lights hanging from the ceiling. He certainly did not want to risk smashing into the lights and breaking them. He was sure that his mother and father would be so proud of how he had made a lake in the basement and built his very own boat and paddle, and he was expecting a lot of praise for that. He really didn’t want to ruin it all by breaking the lights. He was, after all, a very, very, very, good little boy.

So, Foot Foot paddled very carefully to where the stairs used to be just as the water got close to the ceiling and then he steered his boat out of the basement. As the main floor of his house started to fill with water, Foot Foot started boating in the living room and in the kitchen and in the dining room and in the hallway. After a while, the water started to reach the ceiling on the main floor of the house also, so Foot Foot paddled his boat to the staircase and waited for the water to go up to the second floor.

Just then, Foot Foot’s mother and father got home from work. They were a little surprised to see water seeping out from under their front door, but they were really surprised when they opened the front door and a big flood of water came out of the house, knocked them over and started streaming down their front walkway and lawn. As they tried to sit up, they were even more surprised when they were run over by a television set with a little boy making a sound like a boat horn at the top of his voice.

Foot Foot’s mother and father were able to stand up just in time to see all of their stuff float past them and down the street.

At this point, Foot Foot’s father yelled at the top of his very loud voice: “FOOT FOOT, COME HERE NOW!”? When Foot Foot got out of his boat and came back to his house, he was extremely excited and he knew how proud his parents would be of him, and he said: “Did you see that, Mom? Did you see that, Dad? Did you see my boat? Did you see my paddle? Did you see how I made my very own lake? Did you see how much fun I was having? Isn’t this great? Do you want a turn in my boat? Do you? Do you? Do you?”? And his father said:? FOOT FOOT, YOU ARE A VERY BAD LITTLE BOY AND YOU NEED A VERY BIG PUNISHMENT. You go up to your room now! Don’t pass Go! Don’t collect $200.00. Just go to your room and don’t come out for 6 years, 4 months, 23 days, 9 hours, 13 minutes, and 4 seconds. And Foot Foot went to his room.

And that is the end of the story.

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