F.O.M.O and the Social Media Express Train: Where Will They Take You?

"Everybody is doing themselves. I gotta do myself" - Client

It takes guts to not only stay in your lane, but to rest comfortably in it. If there is one thing this digital age we live in continues to prove, it is this, if you are not settled in your identity, if you are not comfortable in your own skin, and if you are not clear about your own sense of purpose, you will run yourself ragged attempting to be something you are not!

It is kind of crazy the number of conversations I have had over the past few years concerning social media and its interplay on how we show up in our daily lives. Just yesterday alone the issue surfaced in session with three separate clients. An element that could add value, if leveraged appropriately, has been the source of much angst for many, both internally and externally.

But let me not sit here and pontificate, as though I am above this dynamic. For a very long time, I found myself literally avoiding engaging the LinkedIn platform in any meaningful way. I feared that I would not be able to compete with the multitude of voices. I questioned whether I would have anything of value to contribute to this digital sphere. I wondered whether my content would even be acknowledged. I felt that no one would really care about what I had to say. Can I add too, that the absence of those "like," "celebrate," "love," "support," "insightful," and "curious" buttons on my post served more as an indicator of my worth as a contributor than anything else?

Having to address the role that social media plays in shaping the views of the personal self is common place in the therapy room. It was not uncommon to find many of the younger clients whom I served during my time working in the substance abuse arena battling fatigue, depression, anxiety, feelings of personal failures, and of not being good enough, following a cursory scroll through their Instagram feed.

It did not matter how much the counselor would iterate that what they were observing was merely a split second snap-shot into the lives of the subjects. These young clients had already embraced the narrative that they were not enough. It was a precipitant to their substance use.

As I work through my own insecurities and help others do the same, it is interesting to note the similarities in our struggles. I recall sharing with one individual, that though the dimensions of our experiences differed, the equifinality could not be dismissed. She shared candidly about seeing friends posting photos and comments about their significant others and their pregnancies, which caused her to reflect on her apparent "lack" in both regards.

But here is something profound, when away from the influence of social media, which she has actively opted to do, the desires, according to her, are not immediate or even as strong. In-fact, she further added that though she desires marriage and family, neither are even a priority for her at this time. Go figure!

• What is it about these images we see of others that make us question or berate ourselves as we are wont to do?

• What is it about these images we see of others that make it difficult to stay present and connected to our own experiences, our own personal journeys, our own individual trajectories?

• What is it about these images we see of others that make us readily cast aside our wins, minimize our successes and magnify our failures?

• What is it about these images we see of others that make us vacate our dreams and question the validity of our personal visions?

• What is it about these images we see of others that make us question our worth, our value and our abilities?

• What is it about these images we see of others that would dare make us silence our voice and withhold our offerings?

• What is it about these images we see of others that would cause us to believe the illusion that we are missing out, that our lives should mirror that of someone else' and that we should embrace this fear – Fear. Of. Missing. Out? Missing out on what exactly?

• What is it about these images we see of others that would even make me question whether I should serve my gift to a world, a generation that needs it? That would cause me to forget that I am an answer to a problem, a solution to a dilemma?

My recommendation to myself and to my clients have consistently been this – you have a right to be here.? You have something of unique value to offer. Yes, your voice does matter. You have a right to sit at the table and whether or not you ever receive the applauds or the accolades you desire, show up, stay in your lane and keep moving forward boldly.

For my client to have arrived at this place where she could boldly utter those words with a level of assertiveness I had not detected before, represents the culmination of a mental and emotional overhaul of seismic importance.

Today, I celebrate with her!

Georgia A. Bryce-Hutchinson?is an accomplished Mental Health Consultant and Practitioner, who leverages an Environmental Engineering background to set the framework, language, and impact of coaching across corporate and one-on-one environments. She specializes in advising organizations and employees on mental health literacy, awareness and crisis intervention and devising preventative strategies to increase workforce productivity, engagement, and retention. Georgia has the ability to meet employees and people where they are in their lives, pivoting to support both the employee and the organization from an inside-out approach.?Connect with Georgia at?[email protected]

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